“Can you believe these not-so-little outlaws are going to be driving soon?” Beau asks, easing the awkwardness in a blink.
“It’s crazy,” I say, glancing past Beau to see if his daughter is standing by. “Is Paige in the car? She’s welcome to come watch.”
He shakes his head. “She’s having a pedicure day with Trish,” he says proudly.
“Good,” I say. “Nice. Greg’s out there on the field with the boys.” There’s pride in my tone too. Not denial, just…pride.
“He was until he got pummeled by thesecondbiggest geek in the game,” Dino mutters, proving that he’s not only listening in but also as big a bully as I suspected.
Beau chuckles wryly under his breath.
“Not to berude,” I say pointedly to Beau, “orslimy,” I add, glaring in Dino’s direction, “but Lenny happens to be a textbookgenius. And if you two knew what he was dealing with at home, you’d want to strangle anyone who picked on him.” I walk off toward the steps but spin on one heel to say one last thing. “By the way, we’re not in middle school anymore. Did anyone ever tell you that?”
CHAPTER10
April
Beau
I’m not surprised to see Jack’s mom at the Driver’s Ed pre-class course instead of weaselly Greg. And as I catch eyes with her across the auditorium, a knowing look flashes over her face. She makes a point to not only avert her gaze but also to crane her neck so she’s facing decidedly away from me.
My insides are electric with the worst kind of buzz. That disrupting chaos that shatters through me every time I entertain the growing suspicion that Trish is stepping out on me. I know I told Kirsten not to utter another word about it, and she hasn’t, but that fact only makes my jealous mind spiral and spin, paranoid with possibilities. What does she know? Has she found anything new?
At Jack’s paintball party, I attempted to make amends with the woman. I was hoping to apologize for lashing out at her on the drive back to the hotel and add, ever so slyly, that she should feel entirely welcome to share any and every ounce of evidence she’s got stacked against Greg and see if it lines up with the growing list I’ve got on Trish.
The truth.
I chase it.
I run from it.
I know I can’t handle it, but deep down, I know it will never go away. I’ve done difficult things in life like anyone else. Burying my younger brother three years ago—that one sits at the top of the list. My heart nearly died the day I heard that Blaine’s had stopped beating. Trish was there for me. She was there for the kids, too, giving them what they needed when I couldn’t peel myself out from under the sheets. I remember thinking how lucky I was to have her. I told myself that—so long as we had each other, we could face anything. Get past the toughest of toughs.
Who knew my next toughest thing would be losing her entirely? To a betrayal, no less?
An army of termites once ate our wooden shed out back. Hollowed it from the inside out. That’s just how this feels. Trish’s betrayal—if she really is cheating like I suspect—is a squirming body of termites, feasting on things like sanity, peace, and affection for my wife of eighteen years.
I am wrecked, and I don’t even have proof that she’s cheating.
Yet.
My knee bounces as I glance in Kirsten’s direction once more.
“Dad?” Parker says under his breath with an elbow nudge. “Can I go sit with Jack and Lenny?”
I shoot to my feet before the answer even comes. “Yeah, I’ll come with you.”
We zigzag our way toward the front of the auditorium. Parker shuffles along the row until he’s seated next to Lenny. Jack sits on the other side next to his mom. I take a seat beside Parker and lean forward enough to prop my elbows on my knees. Chin down, head lowered, I turn to give Kirsten a we-need-to-talk look.
Her chin is high, and her eyes are set on the screen up front. I don’t buy that she’s actually interested. The same five slides have been playing on loop since we arrived: A flyer for suicide awareness, an ad for the city’s upcoming musical, and a warning about teen drinking. The other two slides are similar, depicting totaled cars with a note indicating how many lost their lives in the carnage due to texting and driving.
I keep my gaze on Kirsten for longer than is natural, but she keeps her eyes pasted ahead. At last, I straighten up and roll my shoulders back. Why did I have to say that to her on the way home? Unless you find them together naked—sheesh! She probably thinksI’mthe freak now. And after that tongue-lashing at Jack’s party, she likely thinks I’m a bully too. I’m not. All I did was laugh at what the guy said, sue me.
“Thanks for coming to our pre-driving parent night,” a woman with a mic says from the stage. “And thank you for taking an interest in this important step in your teens’ lives.” I consider the fact that Lenny doesn’t have anyone here showing an interest except Kirsten. I feel guilty for worrying when Parker started to befriend the guy, fearing he’d get mingled into the nerd herd somehow. I’m a shallow man, if I can even be called a man.
Then again, how shallow can I be if I at least acknowledge that I was wrong? And a man takes good care of his family. I do that in spades. So why is it I keep wondering how to compete with guys like Greg?
The termites inside multiply as if they’ve just unleashed a second legion.
