A gulp works its way down my tightened throat. The overhead camera says it all—everyone will be watching this soon. Watching me go back on the one condition I set if I walk up to that second door. The door that’s calling louder to me than all the others. But I cannotwalk up to that door.
It’s the weakness in me that wants it, and I can’t give in to that weakness. If Kai truly cares about me, he’ll be willing to give me what I need.
I clear my throat, step onto the platform, and walk directly to door number one. My head goes fuzzy and light as I look at the doorknob.
“Now that you have both made your decision,” Colt says over the speaker, “I’m going to play back your make-or-break conditions. This time, we’ll go ladies first. Listen up, Kai. This is Nikki answering the following prompt. I could never take Kai back if…” He stops there, and the sound of my voice fills the room.
“If he couldn’t take full responsibility for what he’s done. It’s important to me that Kai realizes that he is the reason it ended between us, not me.”
I cringe.I never have liked the sound of my own voice, but right now, it’s particularly grating. Howler monkeys sound more civilized.
Colt’s response comes next.“You’re saying that—if he refused to take sole responsibility, that you would not want to work at the relationship?”
“Yes,”comes my recorded reply.“That’s what I’m saying.”
I groan inwardly, half thinking it’s the exact right answer and half worrying that I’ve been foolishly rigid.
“Now it’s time for Kai’s.”
My racing heartbeat echoes so loudly in my head that I worry I might miss Kai’s answer. But then I hear him.
“I could not get back with Nikki if she refused to admit that her ultimatum was unfair. Our separation would have been temporary. She’s the one who made it permanent.”
My mouth drops open. My heart skips at least five full beats. I replay his response in my head, hating every single word of it.
Myfault?What is happening? What have I done in life to deserve this? Kai couldn’t have said a worse thing.
“Now is the moment of truth,” Colt says. “First, let me put your minds at ease and say that neither of you has chosen door number three.”
A rush of relief sweeps in at this news. Before this morning, I wouldn’t have imagined Kai making that choice. But who knows where his head is at now?
“If you hadbothchosen that option, you’d have opened your doors, said your goodbyes, and driven off into the hot Arizona sunset alone. But neither of you wants to walk out. That says something.
“Now, when I give you the signal, you’ll each attempt to open your door. This could go one ofthreeways. If you’re both standing at door number two, you’ll twist the knob, and the door will open, signifying open minds, new beginnings, and a second chance at romance. In this scenario, you’ll spend the rest of day five enjoying a luxury date before saying your goodbyes.
“Alternately, if you’ve both opted for number one, your doors will be locked. Yes,” he added, “we can control the mechanisms from here because we’re just that powerful.” Colt cleared his throat. “A locked door represents a lack of resolution because there willbeno resolve. It will be as if you’d both chosen door number three. The only difference is there will be no last hug. No final words. Not even a last, longing glance. You’ll each make your exit, one at a time, and refrain from communicating until our follow-up show next week.”
Follow-up show? This just keeps getting worse.Thisis why I should have had someone read over the dumb contract.
“Now for the final scenario: If you have chosen something different—meaning one chose one, and the other chose two— you’ll open your door to find a second door before you. Picture a hotel room with a joining door, if you will. The second door will be closed. The flexible guy or gal may, if they choose, push beyond that second door to indicate that they’re still willing to see this through. After all, by stepping up to that door, they’re essentially giving the other person what he or she wants.
“If both parties are willing, you may enjoy your final luxury date here before saying farewell to this place forever.” Colt lets out a wistful sigh.
I shoot a longing glance at door number two, inwardly praying with all my might that Kai stands on the opposite side of it. It’s our only chance. And as irritated as I am about Kai’s stipulation, I desperately want that chance.
The distinct click of metal on metal sounds. They’ve either locked or unlocked the pertinent doors.
My heart is a ticking, tocking timebomb.
Please, Kai.Just let me have this one.
“Kai, Nikki,” comes Colt. “Reach out to open the door before you.”
I smear a palm down the side of my dress. I reach out, cup the cool brass knob, and give it a delicate, testing twist.
Nothing.
I tighten my grip, try to twist it again, and meet the resistance I dreaded. It’s locked.
