“I didn’t do a lot of dating either, as crazy as things were around here. But Jud asked me out a few times once things settled down with my mom.”
Kai’s eyes go wide. He gulps and sets down his coffee. “Myfriend, Jud? JudStevens?”
I nod.
“I told him to watch after you. I didn’t tell him to moveinon you.”
He had? “You did?”
“Did he try and kiss you?”
A thrill of heat stirs inside of me as I sense Kai’s jealousy. “No.” But that’s a lie. Not only had Jud tried; he’d succeeded. “Okay, yes. We kissed. But it…the romance just wasn’t there.”
Kai’s nostrils flare. “How many times?”
I flinch back, my chest rising with indignation. “How many women didyoukiss?”
“I’m not asking you how many men you kissed. I’m asking how many times my good buddy Jud kissedmygirlfriend.”
“I wasn’t yoursanymore. You left me.”
“I was comingback!”Kai’s voice turns raspy on that final word. He shakes his head. “I never wanted things to end, Nikki. That was on you.”
A burst of heat flares in my throat.
“That’s not what it felt like when you left. Do you have any idea how alone I felt?” My words are a speeding train—all commotion and reckless speed. “My mom was dangerously close to death, my brother was throwing his life away, and my boyfriend, who happened to also be mybestfriend, left me to deal with it all by myself.” My chin quivers, but I sniff back the tears. I’ve cried enough over this. “You were everything to me, and you left. Don’t you get that?”
Kai pushes his food away and steeples his fingers, his breath audible while he ponders.
My heart races as I watch his chest puff, then collapse. Puff, then collapse.
“I wish…” He shakes his head, gaze set on a far corner. “I wish you hadn’t given me that ultimatum. You’re stubborn, and I think that’s what kept you from going back on it.”
The heat drops into my chest. “I’mstubborn?”
“California’s not that far. I planned to visit as much as I could. To call you every night. To…to keep things going.” He squares a look at me, a blaze of fire in those brown eyes. “I never wanted to lose you, Nikki.”
The flames from his gaze reach right into me, scorching the edges of my heart.
I can feel the desperate parts of me trying to heal from his words, but I don’t know how.Heis the reason he lost me, and I will not apologize for wanting him to stay.
I choke back my frustration, yank out a card of my own, and force my eyes to focus so I can read the stupid prompt aloud.
“Make out for at least sixty seconds.”
My eyes go wide.
Kai’s mouth drops open in shock. He shuts it, then gulps.
My heart is racing. Traitor Me is too. All the way to the finish line. She is a kite on a string, and that card is a gust of powerful wind, promising to take her to new and glorious heights.
I’ve never believed those who say anger is a passion. Anger is hostile and horrible, and right now, it’s making me want to grab Kai by the shirt and shake him. So why do I also want to grab him by the shirt and kiss him until we’re both gasping for air? Oh, how I want that.
And suddenly, that option is presenting itself on a silver platter.
I scramble to find the rational side of me, but it’s gone—sinking into some dark and distant sea. I can’t think. Can’t reason. Can’t do anything but follow the blissful pull of that magnetic breeze.
I scoot away from the table.
