“Sometimes,” she said. “Not anything big, really. Just that he wouldn’t have done what you did. That if I belonged to him, he’d cherish me forever.” She forced out a hard, humorless laugh. “Sadly, he turned out to be an absolute coward.”
“Why? What’d he do?”
“When I told him that I was pregnant, he kept assuring me it would be okay. But he wasn’t convincing. Imagine you’re on a plane and it’s crashing into the ocean. And the stewardess, barely acknowledging the doom ahead, simply advises everyone to be calm. It was like that.”
She recalled the meeting Thomas’ dad arranged after the paternity test came back. The insulting manner he’d used to address the situation.
“His father stepped into action after they were born. Thomas had stopped speaking to me by then. He refused to come to the hospital during the birth. I agreed to meet with him and his pack of lawyers. They’d drawn up some papers and offered me a pretty big dollar amount for my silence and Thomas’ freedom from any parental obligation.”
“Did you sign them?” Duke asked.
Viv nodded. “Yes, but not until they rewrote the paperwork. I wanted to make sure they understood that I did not want their money. I did, however, want my boys to have it for school or whatever they wished once they came of age.
“I’d already denied them a father. I wasn’t about to deny them that as well. You should’ve seen the shock on Mr. Knox’s face. He’d been so certain I was after their money or something.” She shook her head as a flare of anger sparked in her core. “It wasinsulting.”
Duke stayed quiet for a long beat. “So Thomas has nothing to do with them?” he finally asked.
Viv shook her head. “Nothing. And it’s crazy because—for the first few years—I was glad he didn’t have rights to them. He didn’t deserve to.
“But later I started to feel bad. He’d been young too, and perhaps he regretted signing away rights to something so precious as those two boys.”
Viv ran the tips of her fingers down the outside of her icy glass, watching as dots of precipitation rushed to the base. “Eventually, because I thought it was the right thing to do, I reached out. I told him that, if he wanted to come meet them, consider being in their lives, I’d be willing to amend the contract. I didn’t want to keep the boys from having that either, you know?”
Duke lifted a brow. “What’d he say?”
Viv shook her head. “He wasn’t interested. It shouldn’t have hurt me, but it did. He rejected them before even giving them a chance. Thoseincredible, loving, playful, intelligent boys who deserve to be loved by their father. And it was my fault, at least in part, that they didn’t have it.”
She glanced up. Duke opened his mouth to speak, but then shut it and shook his head.
“It’s complicated,” Viv admitted. “I don’t go around punishing myself for it anymore. I just…try to be the best parent I can. I keep my parents close so the boys can soak up all the extra love.” She hesitated to add what came to mind next, but realized it was worth saying.
“AndI protect them from getting hurt by people who might come and go.”
Duke lifted a brow in question.
“Men, mainly,” she said. “I’m careful to not let the twins get attached to someone who might leave. I worry they’ll personalize it and feel…rejected.” That last word came out in more of a whisper.
It was official. The energy had shifted.
Tell Duke about the twins’ dad: check.
Make sure he knew how important her boys were to her: check.
Dampen all the romantic sparks in the process: double check.
Every once in a while, Viv seemed to forget why she’d practically sworn off dating. Inevitably, something reminded her. The very thought had her wondering if this—the dinner, the interview, her willingness to let Duke back into her life—was a bad idea after all.
Would this be the moment Duke shifted the topic into something lighter, or would he, instead, decide to back off his pursuit and ignore the potential between them?
They were reaching a precipice now, she could feel it. If she and Duke moved forward, they were doing so with intent, Duke included. He knew about her boys. Knew how important they were to her. And he knew how guarded she was too. He wouldn’t move forward if he couldn’t see himself taking on the unique challenges their relationship would present.
And now that he had a better understanding of what the challenges might be, would Duke keep moving forward, or back out before getting in too deep?
Chapter 14
Duke had known the question was a loaded one. Known he might be treading dangerous waters when asking about the twins’ father, but at least he’d gotten it out of the way.
The trouble was, the effects from the subject hadn’t gone away so easily. They needed a new topic, and quick.
