So I darted ahead of him, took the steps in two quick lunges, and turned back to see him standing on the walkway. “See you in class,” I said, and pulled open the door.
Jett gave me a wave from where he stood. “Tomorrow.”
Chapter Seven
Ihad barely fallen asleep that night when a series ofpingswoke me up. Woodchips hitting my window. I recognized the sound since TJ had come over past bedtime once before.
Still half asleep, I shuffled over to the french doors and pushed open the drapes. Yards below, TJ stood on the lawn, his tall figure illuminated by the flickering porch light. He waved a long, skinny arm.
I sighed and motioned him up. May as well get this over with now. My bedroom was—like all of the bedrooms in the colonial style home—on the second floor. But TJ was tall enough to reach the banister of the small deck. I unlocked the door, twisted the knob to crack it open, and hurried back over to my bed.
While I waited for TJ to let himself in, I thought back on the way he’d kissed Tasha earlier. I’d learned back in girl scouts that every fire needed fuel to feed the flames. That kiss was all the fuel I needed.
I grit my teeth as I heard him grunting his way over the banister. A loud thump told me his landing on the balcony hadn’t been too cushy.Good.My eyes were adjusting to the lack of light in the room. Enough that when TJ stepped inside, closing the door behind him, I could see his figure from head to toe.
“Hi,” he rasped.
“What are you doing here, TJ?” I asked, straightening my shoulders and lifting my chin.
“Tasha said she saw you guys at the Burger Bar.”
The comment took me by surprise. “And you didn’t?” Sure, I hadn’t made eye-contact with him or anything, but I was pretty sure he’d seen me there.
“No, I swear. I totally didn’t even know you guys were there.” He broke into a pace. “And suddenly Tasha plants this make-out kiss on me and I wasn’t expecting that at all, and then she tells me that you and Jett were there but that you guys just left.”
“Youkissedher, TJ.” Just hearing myself say it aloud made the ache tear through my heart once more.
TJ hung his head. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“What were youthinking?”
“Well…” He walked over to my closet and then spun around to face me once more. “You’rethe one who said we should see other people.”
Forget feeding the flame. That comment started an entirely new fire. I shot to my feet and readied myself to pull out the finger quotes. “TJ. What part of ‘it was my mom’s idea’ do you not understand?”
“Yeah, but Tasha says that you’ve always wanted Jett.” He yanked out the finger quotes next. “She just thinks it’s pretty ‘convenient' that he’s the one you chose to ‘study’with.”
“Are you suggesting that we haven’t really been studying? Because I can show you the notes.” The second the words left my lips I regretted them. Our notes were centered aroundkissingof all things, and one article even managed to throw in the word genitals.
“You know what?” I blurted before he could take me up on the offer. I felt the grip I had on TJ’s life, his future, his well being, slipping right from my grasp. My lip trembled as I forced out my next words. “You thought we were actually seeing other people, right? That’s what you thought? That’s why you kissed Tasha?”
TJ rushed in to close the gap and took hold of my elbows. “Yes. You have to believe me. That’sexactlywhat I thought. But—”
“No.” I threw up a hand and backed away. “That’s perfect. Let’s just leave it at that. We’re seeing other people now.” I turned away from him and hurried back to my bed. Something squeaked from the hallway, and I shot a look to my closed bedroom door. “Shh,” I hissed. “We probably woke my mom up.”
TJ shifted his weight from one foot to the next, head turned toward the door as well. “Or Missy,” he whispered before taking slow steps toward me. He put his hands up. “I don’twantyou to see anyone else,” he said, but I steeled my resolve.
“Too bad.” I folded my arms, noting how he’d said he didn’t wantmeseeing anyone else. He hadn’t saidhedidn’t want to see other people himself. Perhaps I could use this as leverage. The moment he lost something really good by doing something dumb. Maybe it’d be motivation to change. Or maybe he’d even start doing some of the things on that list we made if he thought he could get me back somehow.
I let the idea take the lead as I spoke up once more. “I can tell you don’t want a girlfriend who tries to…control your life,” I said, only somehow there were tears welling up in my eyes. Breaking things off with TJ hurt more than I thought it might. Especially since I was literally letting go of whatever control I had on the choices he made. He’d probably really go crazy now.
My mind scrambled its way back to my original hope—the part that said maybe this would help him clean up his life and make a change once and for all.
“We don’t have to stop seeing each other,” I said softly. “But I think we should date other people too.”
“Yeah,” TJ growled. “You already said that.” He smeared a hand over his face, shuffled back to the balcony door, and flung it open. “Have fun withPastor Boy.”He left the door open behind him, allowing a cold breeze to rush into my room.
I pulled the throw off my bed and wrapped it around me, staring at the open crack. After a long while and a heartfelt prayer, I climbed off my bed and closed the door tight. I plopped onto the floor, snatched TJ’s old sweatshirt off the nearby bench, and curled up to it on the floor as I fell asleep.
