My book fell to my lap as I admitted that the hurt far outweighed the joy they brought. He’d kind of ruined them by choosing to leave and not come back while my mom was pregnant with Missy. What kind of person did that? I’ve gone from hating him for it to blaming my mom for doing something to chase him away, to then blaming myself for doing something to chase him out of our lives.
But all of those things were just too painful and unsettling and far too flawed for me to accept, so I decided that he was actually a very good guy with a problem that might have been solved had someone just…stepped in a little sooner and held him accountable for his behavior. I’d read a million articles on addiction and the early starts.
A lot of people were just trying to fill some sort of void. What if the void in his heart could have been filled by a fulfilling job where he enjoyed what he did? Something consistent. Something he could be proud of.
I abandoned my book and took care of a few items on Mom’s list. After much begging and pleading, she’d picked up some prepackaged goodies that I could pop in the microwave and dip in condiments like the rest of the universe. They were semi-gross versions of the real thing since they lacked preservatives and things like that but they were a far cry from the casserole that had scarred my kissing life with TJ.
How about we let you be the judge…I couldn’t help but picture the smoldering look on Jett’s face as he’d challenged me. My heart fluttered out of beat as heat swooshed to every limb. What did it say about me that that was possibly the most thrilling moment of my life so far?
A knock sounded at the door then, and I scrambled to rinse my plate and put it in the dishwasher. I also scrambled to shove my thoughts of Jett into a special place of their own. One I should vow not to revisit.
I swung open the door to reveal the sight of my handsome boyfriend. Blond, shaggy hair hung around his unshaven face. His blue eyes lit up as he grinned at me. “Hey.”
“Hi!” I held up a finger, dashed to the bathroom, and quickly brushed my teeth, taking extra care to get my tongue too. I hurried back to the doorway and said, “Ready.”
TJ grinned as I tossed my arms around him. He was so good. He liked me. He was doing his best in life. Working hard. Taking extra shifts—well, hewoulddo that once he stopped calling in sick. He caught me and spun in place before setting me back down on the porch. At once he moved in for a kiss. I prepared myself by keeping a tight pucker; I wasn’t ready for a repeat of yesterday.
TJ didn’t exactly take the hint. He pulled me a bit tighter and tipped his head to one side. His tongue nudged my lip. For a split second, I wondered if I just give in and see if this time could be better. But I chickened out and pulled back instead; I didnotwant TJ to prove Jett right about the whole kissing thing.
“So how was your day?” I chirped. “I really missed hanging out with you yesterday.”
TJ tossed his arm around me and nodded toward the old Chevy. “I missed you too. We just jammed most of the day. After work, that is.”
I sighed in relief. See, he was doing so well.
“I mean, I was a tiny bit late ‘cause we kind of partied last night. But a bunch of people came to watch this time. It was awesome. Felt like we were performing on stage or something.”
I shivered against the breeze as the wordskind of partiedran through my mind. TJ rushed around to his side of the Chevy as I cranked open the passenger side and climbed in. Once he was settled behind the wheel, I spoke up once more, reminding myself that I did not want to lecture him.“Who was all there? Anyone I know?”
“Uh, a few of the MG’s came. Couple of their jock friends too.”
The seatbelt strap was only halfway across my lap but I paused at this news and turned to him. “You invited the mean girls?”
“Jessie did, but yeah. They’re not that bad.”
A vision of Tasha shot to my mind. Her bright red, venomous lips as she spread on yet another coat of lipstick while glaring my way. “Which girls were there?”
TJ checked his rearview and pulled onto the road. “Can’t remember all their names. Olivia, Stacy, I think. Jenny…”
I nodded. Jenny and Stacy were Tasha’s sidekicks. Two of the girls who’d been giggling in the corner of the locker room to egg Tasha on. Thank heavens Jett was free from her.
“That Tasha chick was there too,” he said. “And it’s funny because she used to date Jett Bryant, andyouwere withhimlast night, andIwas withher.”
“You werewith herlast night?” I squeaked. “I thought you said everybody was there.” The back of my shoulders turned fire hot in a blink.
“We were. At first. But then she stuck around for a while and asked where you were, so…”
That wasn’t even a normal place to drift off. “Sowhat?”
“So I told her that you were, like, gonna have to see other people.”
Wow, the conversation was getting more annoying by the minute. “Did you misunderstand what my mom said?” I shifted in the seat. “She didn’t say I needed to startseeing other people. She only said that I couldn’t go out with you until I, you know…”
“Saw another guy in between,” he said flatly. “Which is the same thing as seeing other people.”
The angry heat was climbing right up my neck already. “Yeah, but I’m not actuallydatingsomeone else. We’re partners in class. I’m doing homework with thepastor’sson.” There. That should shed a little light on things.
“Yeah, well Jett’s not Mr. Innocent or anything.” TJ shook his head, and I noticed his jaw tighten. “Anyway, if you’re going to keep seeing Jett, we figured we’d just hang out together too on those nights.”
