Chapter 20
Anthony staredat the lampshade in the front room as he heard Kira pull into his driveway. The car door slammed shut, but no footsteps sounded. He tilted his head to better listen as a knock tapped at thedoor.
“Come in,” he said cautiously. This was how he felt when he’d gone in to hear his father’s diagnosis. And then his prognosis. Terrified, exhausted, and ill to the core. Kira’s phone call had put him there in an instant. She’d sounded so frantic. So… broken, it was hardnotto know what she mightsay.
The screen door creaked as she pulled it open and stepped in, one puffy sock-covered foot at a time. Which explained the lack of footfalls outside. His gaze moved up the length of her. Baggy sweats. A worn tee shirt. Red-rimmed eyes and blotchy cheeks. “Hi,” she said, in a hoarsevoice.
He’d planned to stay in place. Sit on the lounge chair while Kira said what she had to say. But as soon as their eyes met, the weight of her dilemma, whatever it was, sank into his heart like amillstone.
Anthony shot to a stand and crossed the floor, wrapping his arms solidly aroundher.
“I needed this so bad.” Her warm, tiny frame jerked and heaved as she fought for the words. “I never want to leave you, Anthony.Ever.”
He clenched his eyes shut, took in those wonderful words, and sighed. “That’s good,” he mumbled. “Because I neverwantyou to leave.” He ran his jaw along the side of her face. And while her skin was flushed and hot, the tears on her cheeks felt cold to the touch. Heaven help him, he loved this woman, hated seeing her hurt. And dreaded asking the words at hislips.
“Whathappened?”
She pulled back, eyed him as her lips quivered, and shook her head. “Sorry I’m such a wreck,” she said before blowing out a slow breath. Her shoulders stopped trembling as she repeated the action a second time. “They presented me with a new offer to travel with them and take runway pictures. Monty’s going through some rehab program where he’s trying to right his past wrongs. They both are, actually. And of course,I’mone of the people they wronged. I guess he finally came clean about stealing the images I shot inMilan.”
“Wow, that’s terrific,” Anthony said, but his insides didn’t seem to agree. He motioned to the sitting area.You can handle this,he assured himself.Just relax andlisten.
He settled into the center of the couch while Kira plopped onto the leather footrest adjacent to him. She scooted to the edge, slipping her knees between his legs so they were close. Face toface.
“How did he propose tomake things right?” Anthonyasked.
Another slow breath. A few dabs at her face with a bunched-up tissue. “He and Finny wrote up some offer for me to… I guess you’d say go on tour with them. They have a fashion tour coming up, and they want me to shoot the runwaypictures.”
Anthony nodded. He could handle this. If his body were a planet of its own, ninety percent of it was calm and collected. But a small portion—that other ten percent—was fighting back an underlying tremor. One that could prove destructive if it got out of hand. He wouldn’t letit.
“That was nice of them to offer,” he said, circling a thumb over her shoulder. “But how could you trust that they wouldn’t do the samething?”
She locked eyes with him and shook her head. “They, it’s not like that. But Anthony, it doesn’t matter. I shouldn’tgo.”
He grinned. Liking the sound of that. Yet as he ran his hands down the outside of her arms, leaned in to kiss her lips, something she’d said stood out to him: She hadn’t said that she didn’twantto go, only that sheshouldn’t.Those were two very differentthings.
A hot ache stirred in his chest, and Anthony knew… he knew he couldn’t leave it there. The tremor took over another ten percent. “What do you mean byshouldn’t?” He gulped, willing hernotto say she’d stay behind for him. He needed her to stay becauseshewantedto.
“I mean,” she paused… shook her head. “You’ve been through so much already. If I went, even if I came right back when I was done, which I totally would, of course, it wouldn’t be fair to make you worry thatway.”
That’s all it took. There was a full-on earthquake taking over now. He drew back. “So you’d stay back forme?”
She shook her head, just subtly, her brow furrowing. “Ofcourse.”
She said it like it’s what he’d wanted to hear. Like he hadn’t watched his mother walk out of his life aftertaking one for the teamand stickingit out as long as she good. “Do me a favor now, and then resent me later.Right?”
Kira’s eyes went wide. “No. That’s not… it wouldn’t be like that atall.”
Anthony rose to his feet, resignation kicking in strong. “But that’s where you’re wrong. Because I’ve already been through this. I already know how this ends. You stay. You resent me. You end up leaving forgood.”
“Well thentell mewhat you want me to do?” The look on Kira’s pretty face was tortured. Pleading. “Please…just tellme.”
Anthony walked over to the door, hurt replacing anger as he twisted the knob and tugged it open. “Kira, we both know you want to leave,” he said. “So just leave.” The words came out calm, butfinal.
Kira glared at him, shook her head, then bolted out thedoor.
He didn’t walk her to her car. Didn’t kiss her goodnight. Or even kiss her goodbye. But mentally, Anthony knew that—for her sakeandhis—telling Kira goodbye was exactly what he had todo.
* * *
Kira couldn’t remember feeling hurtlike this. She replayed Anthony’s words in her head, accompanied by the anger on his face.Do me a favor now, and resent melater.
She spun onto her back, stared up at a streak of moonlight peering through her blinds, and smeared the tears on her face. It was no use; a stream of new ones took their place. The heartache of it all just too much totake.
It’s what she’d feared most. Anthony taking things the wrong way. Only it’d gone worse than she feared. He hadn’t even given her a way out. A new ache tore at her heart, hot and sharp. He’d built her up—said that he trusted her—and then faltered the first chance he got. Maybe shediddeserve it, by being indecisive and unpredictable in the past. But Anthony really had made her believe that he didn’t fear her. So had she betrayed him, or washethebetrayer?
It didn’t matter. As it was, Kira had shut her sister out, telling her that she’d explain how things went in the morning. Maybe by then she’d be able to explain what had happened. For now, all she could feel washurt.
