Navuh had thought that he was invincible on that island of his, but the Fates had played him. Navuh loved only one person in this universe, and the Fates tricked him into believing that Areana had fallen to her death. He had followed his love without thinking, either in a desperate attempt to save her or a wish to join her beyond the veil because he couldn't tolerate life without her.
Were the Fates tricking her now? Once again making her believe that her one true love had perished? Had she not suffered enough?
Annani had already mourned Khiann once, and now the Fates were making her mourn him again. It was not fair to subject her to such cruelty, but then life was not fair, and larger forces were at play than one goddess's love for her mate.
In the grand scheme of things, she was not important.
"Care to share your thoughts?" Kian said as they climbed into the back of his SUV. "I'm not used to you being so quiet. It's disconcerting."
Annani reached for her son's hand and brought it over to her lap. "The last thing a mother wants is for her son to be worried." She sighed. "I was just thinking that I am not really important in the grand scheme of things, and that the Fates are not obligated to give me preferential treatment. People lose loved ones all of the time. And some even lose them twice when their hopes for miraculous resurrection are crushed."
"Are your hopes crushed, Mother?"
She let out a breath. "Yes. Not yet entirely destroyed, but severely damaged."
Kian squeezed her hand. "The Fates saved you for a reason. If not for you, Mortdh's followers would have ruled the entire globe, and life would have been unbearable, especially for women. You are very important, and you have suffered and fought through the millennia to do good and to elevate humanity according to the gods' vision. You deserve to get your mate back."
"Thank you." She motioned for him to lower his head so she could kiss his cheek. "That was one of the best pep talks I've ever gotten."
It was second only to the prophecy the blind seer had given her.
She had to cling to that promise and believe that it would come true, but it was difficult to remain hopeful at this point.
She should have agreed to Navuh's terms.
The thought surfaced unbidden, sharp and accusatory. If she had simply accepted his bargain and promised him freedom in exchange for Khiann's safe retrieval, none of this would have happened. They would have gotten to Khiann in time.
Instead, she had hesitated. Had tried to find a way that didn't require compromising her principles. And while she deliberated, the booby traps had been sprung, and Khiann might have perished.
The guilt was so overwhelming that she could not take in a deep breath.
But even as she drowned in self-recrimination, another part of her mind pushed back. Capturing Navuh had never been the plan. It had been a stroke of luck, an unexpected gift from the Fates. Before his capture, she had not even had proof that Khiann was still alive. If she agreed to release Navuh, things would have simply returned to the way they had been before.
Except it might be too late to save Khiann.
If he had survived.
If there was anything left to save.
Annani pressed her fingers to her temples, trying to quiet the thoughts that spun in endless circles. One moment she was certain she should have accepted Navuh's bargain, and the next she was equally certain that releasing him would have been acatastrophic mistake. Back and forth, round and round, never settling, never finding peace.
She just wanted Khiann back. That was all. After five thousand years of grief, was that really too much to ask?
Tears pricked at her eyes, but she would not let them fall, and she blinked them away fiercely.
Self-pity was a weakness, and showing weakness was a luxury a leader could not afford. Her people looked up to her, and if she cried in front of them, it would shatter their illusion of safety. She could not allow herself to crumble in public.
Not now, and not ever.
Even crying privately was a luxury she did not allow herself because if she started crying, she might never stop.
When the four of them entered the clinic, Gertrude rose from her chair. "Clan Mother, we weren't expecting you tonight. Doctor Bridget left a couple of hours ago. Should I call her back?"
"There is no need," Annani said. "I am here to have a talk with Navuh."
Gertrude looked uncomfortable. "Lady Areana is with him."
Of course, she was. Areana's devotion to her mate was as admirable as it was questionable. One of the cruelties of the mating bond was that it didn't discriminate between saints and monsters, and Areana had no choice but to stand by her mate's side.
