“I have been thinking a great deal about you in the last few weeks,” he said. “You can be proud that your behavior had the desired effect.”
“My behavior?” she repeated. “What do you mean?”
He didn’t remove his even stare from her face. “Come now, Evelina. You think I don’t know that you turned to Blackburn as a way for you two to exact some kind of petty revenge? What other reason could you have for matching with him?”
She frowned. “His decency? His kindness? His intelligence? His attentiveness to my every need?”
His cheek twitched. “I miss you.”
Those three words hit her like a punch and she staggered back. What the hell was going on? Just a few weeks before this man had stood in this very parlor after she’d asked for him to come, and told her she was unworthy of his affection. Andnowhe wanted her?
“Why?” she asked. “You made your choice, you created a life-altering scandal not only for yourself and Lady Blackburn, but for Vaughn. And now you say you miss what you threw away?”
“I was caught up in something,” he said. “But the cost is becoming too high, Evelina. I’ll need to walk away, I think. And there’s no place I’d rather be than back with you. Youmustwant that, too. And when I do, it will mitigate the scandal.”
“How?” she burst out. “How could you ever mitigate the damage you and the countess did?”
“Well, she’d go back to Blackburn, wouldn’t she? The divorce isn’t complete, it could be halted. They could play at falling back in love, Society would drool over that. And you and I could be free of this little problem in our story.”
She found herself battling for breath at the utter arrogance of that statement, which dismissed every heartache, every betrayal, every cruelty that this man had performed not only in the last six weeks, but in the last year.
She would have dressed him down, would have kicked him from her home and told him never to return except for one thing: his statement about Vaughn. The fact was that he wasn’t entirely wrong. If Vaughn and Lady Blackburn were to reunite, thatmightreduce the damage. Vaughn would be seen as what he was: a good and decent man who had been willing to forgive.
Her stomach turned at the idea that he would walk back into the arms of someone who didn’t cherish him, but what if that was what he wanted? What if, in his heart, he did still want the future he’d had torn from him? Hadn’t he mentioned his pain at its loss more than once?
“You couldn’t be serious,” she whispered.
He stood and stepped toward her. It took everything in her not to take an equal step back. “I am.”
He moved to touch her face, and now she did step back. He frowned, the flash of annoyance in his eyes one she recognized. How many times had he looked at her like that over the years when she laughed too loudly or teased too lightly or told him she didn’t feel like going to his bed because she had a headache? Had Vaughn ever looked at her like that? Like she was a bother?
No. Never. Not once.
“I understand the game,” Southwater said. “That you must enact some petty punishments for what you see as a betrayal. That’s fine. You take your time, think about it. I could call again tomorrow and we could discuss it further, along with my generous terms for your coming back and starting over.” He caught her hand and didn’t release it even when she tugged. He lifted it to his lips and pressed them to her knuckles before he backed away. “Think on it. You’d be a fool to give up a duke worth five times what an earl was worth. Good day.”
He left her and she covered her face with her shaking hands. Between it all, she felt like the world was spinning and she had no idea what to think or do. And when she had those kinds of emotions there was only one place to go.
So she called for her carriage to go there.
* * *
Barnaby had served Arabella, and in turn Evelina and Julia, too long to find it odd when Evelina burst into the house and demanded she see Arabella without being announced. He’d simply told her which parlor and sent her on her way.
When she opened the door, Arabella was seated on the settee, a book in hand. Silas sat at the escritoire in the corner of the room, writing a letter. They both looked up as she entered.
“Evelina?” Arabella said, but didn’t have the chance to rise from her seat. Evelina crossed to her, sank down on the settee next to her and settled her head into Arabella’s lap. Her sister looked at Silas with concern but then rested a hand in Evelina’s hair and stroked it gently.
“What is it, love?” she asked softly.
Silas got up and moved to the chair across from the settee. “Are you well, Evie?”
“No, not well at all,” she whispered, and hated that tears began to sting her eyes, then slid down her cheeks. “I’m such a fool, Arabella.”
“You couldn’t be, you are the wisest person I know.” Her sister continued to stroke her hair. “Why would you think otherwise?”
She turned her face into Arabella’s knee and her voice was muffled as she said, “I love him.”
She waited for the concern and the censure and the rest, but Arabella just sighed. “Oh, dearest, we established that some time ago. It’s plain as the nose on your pretty face, especially when you two are in a room together.”
