My dearest Evelina and Julia,
This is all too much for me, knowing how I destroyed you.
She stared at those words, knowing that sometimes she had truly believed them to be true. Salvation had been so close to destruction for both her sisters. She blinked at tears and continued.
And I cannot go on with the guilt any longer. Not in harming you, nor in the humiliation I caused against our innocent father, who only wished to raise us with love and kindness. To free us all from my mistakes, I must end my life. Think of my favorite spot and know that I’m washed away from all the pain. With all my love to you and to Silus, goodbye. Arabella.
Her father held out a hand for the note and she watched with bated breath as he read it. Would he notice she’d spelled Silas’s name wrong? Or that she’d gone on a little too far about his kindness? Would he ask about her favorite spot, a little grove along the Thames that was just across from the house she now stood in? The one she’d now try to convince her father to take her to?
Would they see the clues and find her, either dead or alive? Would they avenge her or save her? Or at least would they understand she hadn’t done this out of her own volition if he succeeded?
He handed the letter back and grunted. “Put it where it will be found.”
She looked at the hat box on the table where she’d written her note. She hadn’t ever put it back after she hid his latest letter inside. If she set it here, surely one of her sisters would wonder at the odd placement when she normally put her things away carefully. They’d open it.
They’d see the threats she’d so often pushed aside and minimized, both to them and to herself. They’d realize what a danger their father truly was.
She folded the paper and set it carefully on top of the box. “Julia wished to borrow the hat within. She’ll come looking for it in the morning and find the note.”
Another lie, but he seemed to believe it. He caught her arm and began to drag her out of the room and down to the back of the house. “Now, let’s go,” he said.
“Wait, how will you take me?” she asked, tugging back slightly and feeling the press of the gun in her side become harder. “If you get my carriage, my servants will have to be called. If you have a horse, it will draw attention to have two on it and to ready my mount will take time.”
“Oh, you are so interested in making certain your suicide goes well?” he asked.
“I’m interested in making sure you don’t kill anyone innocent in your zeal to destroy me.” She was trying to catch her breath, but it was getting harder now. “May I suggest that the Thames runs through the park just across from my house? Wouldn’t it make more sense that I’d go somewhere close to end myself?”
He glared at her. “You aren’t in control of this.”
“No. I am certainly sure of that.” She glanced down at the gun buried in her side, the barrel bruising her. “Please, if you’re going to end this, at least do it quickly and without harming others.”
He seemed to accept that and turned her toward her front door. They exited together, looking every bit the happy pair, she supposed, as they stepped out onto the drive and moved their way across the street toward the dark park.
Toward her end, if she couldn’t figure out a way out of this. And the fact that she’d never again see her sisters or Silas was the greatest heartbreak she’d ever felt.
CHAPTER22
“What the hell do you mean you talked to Arabella’s father?” Silas asked, jumping to his feet.
“Hetalked to me,” Reg insisted. “He found me at my club. And while the man was wild, he seemed to know a great deal about my situation. Apparently news of the behavior you two have been indulging in has reached the countryside. He offered to talk to her, to get her in line.”
“In exchange for what?” Silas growled, trying to temper the wild terror that rushed through him. Considering what Arabella had confessed to him the night before, he couldn’t imagine her father had any good intentions.
“Money, of course,” Reginald insisted. “I gave him fifty pounds to try to talk some sense into her. He wanted to do it this afternoon, but I told him we intended to sup with you, so he seemed to change his mind.”
“You told him her schedule?” Silas gasped. “You offered him money to handle her? Do you know what you’ve done?”
Reginald got up now, shaking his head. “Tried to manage this in a gentlemanly way.”
“Her father has been threatening her with physical harm for years,” Silas spit out, running a hand through his hair. “It’s only her arrangements with powerful men that have kept her safe. The man blames her for all his woes and has no interest in her well-being. You fool, you’ve offered her up to him.”
Now Charlie was on his feet too and he glanced at Reginald. Their brother looked sick at the facts being laid out before him.
“Do you—do you truly believe he would harm her?” Reginald asked, his tone shaky.
“I don’t know. But I know he’s said he would. I must go to her, right now.”
“And we’ll go with you,” Charlie insisted.
