She blinked. “Who?”
But she knew the answer. She felt it in her bones.
“Mr. Windham, miss.”
“Of course it is,” she said, and bent her head. “Well, let him come.”
“Do you want a moment to prepare?” Barnaby asked.
She swallowed. She must have her emotions on her face if he was asking her that. She nodded and he left her. She got to her feet and paced the room, shaking out her hands to get the tingles that now worked through them to stop.
It had been two days since she left Silas. Since she threatened his temporary butler so he would get better treatment. She hadn’t stopped thinking about him since. Hadn’t stopped running over and over in her mind how her protective instincts had come out and how wrong that was. How it violated every rule she had about the men she took into her life and her body and her bed.
And now he was here and somehow she had to stop her heart from throbbing and her body from trembling like she was some little innocent about to meet with a man for whom she had atendre.
“Stop,” she ordered herself.
It didn’t work and her door opened again. She faced it and saw Barnaby’s brow wrinkle before he announced, “Mr. Windham.”
He stepped away and Silas entered the room. He had a fiery expression to his face, one that faded as he looked at her. When Barnaby had closed the door behind him, Silas stepped forward.
“That’s a new look for you, Arabella.”
She gasped as she realized what she was wearing and what was in her hair. She reached up and touched the little rags rolled through her locks to curl them.
“Oh damn, that was why he asked me if I needed a moment,” she gasped, and began to unknot the little pieces of fabric.
Silas laughed and moved forward. “I actually think you look adorable.”
“Well, adorable isn’t the effect I’mevergoing for,” she huffed, still tugging the fabric away.
“A pity,” he said, and reached out to slide one of the strips of fabric out of her hair gently. “But I suppose we all wear masks, don’t we?”
She wrinkled her brow because his playfulness had gone now and the intensity she had felt from him when he entered the room had returned.
“I suppose we must,” she said carefully. “Are you well?”
“Perfectly well,” he said, but that was clearly not true as he began to pace the room. He looked rather like a caged predator then. Restless and sleek and dangerous beyond the bars. But also lost. Longing to be free.
Something had happened. She ought to make herself not care about that, but she couldn’t. She did care. It was too late.
CHAPTER12
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Arabella asked, hating how her breath shook as she retook her place on the settee and continued to tug the curling fabric from her hair.
Silas continued to pace back and forth in front of her window, his hands clenched at his sides. “You told me before that your sisters followed you into this life.”
That felt like a change of subject from her question and one she didn’t understand. “Y-yes.”
“They never judged you for who you are, what you are? Your bond wasn’t shaken by it?”
She hesitated. What he was asking her for felt very vulnerable. Oh, she was often asked about her relationship to Evelina and Julia. Men who tried to seduce her into their protection were endlessly titillated by the idea of three sisters who were all in the life. The ones who wanted to include her sisters in their sexual fantasies were always roundly rejected.
But none of them ever delved into the emotional element of their bond. What Silas was inquiring about now wasreal. It was truly about family.
When she didn’t answer, he turned toward her. His gaze wasn’t just intense, it was pained. And that pain called to her own, drew it from the corner where she always placed it so it would remain hidden from everyone.
Including herself.
