“I suppose.”
“And there is the fact that you are…” Arabella hesitated. She had to go easy now, she didn’t want to hurt or anger her sister. “That you are looking for a fairytale. You see Evelina with her arrangement with Harry and you want that same thing.”
“A long-term lover who adores me and me alone?” Julia said with a laugh. “Oh yes, what a mad desire.”
“It isn’t mad,” Arabella said, though to her it seemed mad. It seemed a recipe for heartbreak, though for a moment she thought of Silas again. No, that was fun. Just because he’d been her fantasy didn’t mean he was her future. Her future was herself. “But it may not be realistic for women like us. What Evelina and Harry have is rare.”
She didn’t add that sometimes she wasn’t even certain it was real. The duke made promises to her sister constantly about her being the love of his life and how he would keep her and protect her forever. For many women of their kind, that was the dream. And it did work for some.
But Arabella sometimes watched Southwater with her sister and wasn’t certain.
She shook her head. Those were troubles for another day. If Evelina needed her, she’d be there and otherwise she wasn’t about to intrude.
“You know, I could introduce you to a few gentlemen,” Arabella said. “Help you pick if you’d like.”
Julia got up and went to the sideboard where she poured them both tea and put two scones on a plate. When she returned she looked resigned. “Yes. That might be best. You’ve always been quicker to identify just the right gentleman to put in place. Perhaps I need that keen eye on my side.”
“You always have it,” Arabella said and then sighed with pleasure as she bit into her scone. “Oh, apricot. Mrs. Barnaby is a treasure.”
Julia laughed. “She is that. Where did you go last night?”
Arabella sipped her tea. “Donville.”
Both Julia’s eyebrows lifted and Arabella understood why. She’d said many a time that she was taking her time choosing her next protector, letting the gentlemen sweat a little, gather some steam to fight for her, thus making her a bigger prize. Going to Donville was the very opposite of that measured plan.
“Does that mean you’ve chosen someone?” Julia asked.
“No.” Arabella sighed. “I just wanted to have a little fun and forget the nastiness at Aunt Caroline’s about Father’s letter. Was Evelina very angry on the drive home?”
“You know Evelina,” Julia said. “She blustered for a bit, but it wasn’t about being angry. Father frightens her. I suppose he frightens all of us after everything he put us through. I distracted her talking about going to that new play at Covent Garden.”
Arabella pursed her lips. “Well, hopefully she’ll be past all that by the time I see her next. I wish Aunt Caroline hadn’t pressed about it. There’s nothing to be said or done.”
Julia didn’t look certain, but Arabella was pleased when she changed the subject. “So you just went to Donville to have fun. And you must have if you came creeping back into the house at dawn.”
“I did,” Arabella said.
Julia’s brow wrinkled. “What aren’t you telling me?”
Arabella hesitated and hated herself for it. The situation regarding their father aside, she tried to be honest with her sisters, but there was something about this thing with Silas that she didn’t want to share. And that meant she had to do just that. It was dangerous to make an affair too precious.
“Do you recall when we saw Simone a few days ago?”
Julia nodded. “You two had your heads together for a long time.”
“Yes. She told me…she told me Silas Windham was back in London.”
Her sister’s eyes widened. “TheSilas Windham?”
Arabella felt rare heat rush to her cheeks. It was one thing to talk about the man, go on about her thoughts about him when he wasn’t…real. But now he was here and very much real and it felt a little raw.
“Yes. At any rate, I went to the Donville Masquerade and he was there.”
“Well, if I know you at all, which I do, I assume you sprung at him like some gorgeous, sleek cat and sprinkled all your magic until he couldn’t resist you.”
“Something like that,” Arabella said with a chuckle. “You view me through very pretty glass, my love.”
“I think I’m fairly accurate. You are a sparkling force of nature, Arabella.”
