And there it was, the words Lily had known in her heart that Alice felt, finally spoken aloud. But knowing they had been there, waiting to be spilled, wasn’t the same was hearing them. As having them hit her in the chest like a punch.
She took Alice’s hands in hers. It was so unfair that it had to be Lily who be the one to do this. To convince her sister to carry on with something that would ultimately cause her own heartbreak.
“This is an arrangement and of course that can be frightening," she said softly. “But George—Lockhart, he is agoodman. He wouldn’t ever hurt you and he’ll look after you in the ways a husband should. If you open your heart, you could even come to…come to love him.”
Her sister’s face twisted in what appeared to be horror and she snatched her hands away. “Love him?” she repeated. “You say that because you were so happy, but that won’t be me, Lily. I do not love Lockhart and I shallneverlove him. Not like I love?—”
She broke off and got to her feet, pacing away to the window. But Lily had heard and understood perfectly the truncated sentence that now hung in the air between them.
She got up slowly. “Alice, are you in love with another man?”
Her sister stood still at the window a moment, but then she turned back. “No.”
That didn’t appear to be a lie. Alice was calm and quiet now, the upset that had torn at her pushed back down, along with whatever secret she had been about to tell.
Alice drew in a few shaky breaths. “I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have allowed that outburst. You are right that I’m simply nervous and behaving irrationally.”
“I don’t think I ever said-”
“Why don’t you let me change and have a moment to regather myself?”
Lily opened and shut her mouth, uncertain what to say or do now. How to help her sister when the wheels of this were in motion, almost out of control. It was too late to turn them back…wasn’t it?
“Of course, I’ll let you have a moment. On my way out, I’ll fetch Mary to help you.”
Alice ducked her head again. “Thank you.”
Lily went to the dressing room and opened the door once more. “Mary, Alice will need help changing.”
If Mary had looked upset before, now she had pushed those emotions away. She looked past Lily, almost as if she could see Alice. “Of course,” she said, and got up to do her duty.
Lily left the chamber and shut the door. As she walked down the long hallway back toward her own chamber, she was flooded with all the awful feelings of this situation. Both her sister and George had confessed to being trapped into this marriage. Both would suffer if he happened.
And yet was she the one who should make that point? Because she was not a disinterested party. There were entirely selfish reasons for her to wish the engagement ended. Were her own needs enough reason to call for a scandal that would harm everyone involved? Was there no way the two of them could find some happiness?
She was about to enter her chamber to ponder that further, but when she looked down to grasp the door handle, she realized she was still wearing the pink gown. She’d left not only her second option, but her original dress back in her sister’s room.
She rolled her eyes at the distraction that had been caused by all the high emotions and headed back to Alice’s chamber. She gave a light knock before she opened the door.
She expected to see Mary helping Alice dress, but what she saw inside instead brought her up short.
Alice was still on the settee in her wedding dress and Mary sat with her, arms around her. Mary was stroking her hair gently as Alice buried her head in her maid’s shoulder. Neither noticed Lily there, they were so wrapped up in whatever was between them.
Lily had an odd feeling in her stomach, even though it seemed this was just a friend comforting a friend. They were of an age and had grown up around each other, Alice hadn’t learned yet how to put a little distance between them. She was ready to back away and allow them to have their moment, but then Alice turned her face toward Mary and whispered, “I hate this. I hate this, my love.”
Mary nodded. “I do too, Alice. More than anything.”
Then she bent her head and kissed Alice. It was gentle at first, but then Alice made a little sound and lifted into the other woman, her arms coming around her tighter.
Lily covered her mouth before she stepped back and shut the door silently. Her hands shook as she stared in shock at the barrier between herself and whatever was now happening in that room between the two women.
Passion.Love. That was what it was. She recognized it because she had felt both of those things herself. Along with the same desperation that had lingered between the two women when they touched. She realized that when Alice had cut herself off when she said she loved another, it hadn’t been another man. It had beenMary. That one piece of information locked into place and made the picture entirely clear. It also made one other fact just as evident: to go forward with this marriage would be far more devastating than to end it, for all parties.
“I cannot let her do this,” Lily said to herself, and it only made her even more certain of that truth.
She pivoted and walked down the hallway toward Prudence’s chamber. She needed to stop this, for all their sakes. She only hoped there was a way to do so before all involved were broken beyond repair.
CHAPTER15
