He stared at her, their eyes holding in the dim light. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
She huffed out a breath and turned away, staring out at the garden. It took a moment for her to speak, but when she did she sounded steadier, like she was fighting to win back control. “You didn’t recognize me thanks to the mask. I was the only one who knew, the only one caught in the web at that point. What should I have done, Lockhart? Taken you aside and told you that I was the woman you buried yourself in while you should have been preparing to wed my sister?”
“Yes, exactly that,” he said. “Then we could have dealt with this together.”
She pivoted. “How can it be dealt with? What we’ve done? Who we’ve betrayed? How can iteverbe dealt with without destroying both our lives and the person I love most in this world?” Her voice broke once more and he flexed his hand at his side in a deep desire to touch her even though he shouldn’t.
“Lily,” he whispered.
She shook her head. “No. There is nothing to say or do, my lord. We must carry on just as we have been before the secret was fully revealed.”
“How the hell can we do that?”
She drew a few deep breaths. “You’ve declared you will be a good husband to my sister. I choose to believe that because to imagine the alternative is too painful. And you and I will pretend that night never happened.”
He stepped toward her and suddenly he could smell the intoxicating fragrance of her hair: citrus and gardenias. He wanted briefly to bury himself in that, in her and that was the material problem.
“Do you think that I could know this about you, that you were the woman that night, and not have it haunt me every time I look at you, Lily?” He moved even closer and all he wanted to do now was touch her face. “That I could be this near to you and not think of every touch? Every moan? Every grip of you?”
She was trembling as she stared up at him, but then she pushed her shoulders back and a steel came into her expression. “Well, you must. Because I’m not yours and you never should have been mine.” She shoved past him. “You’ll pretend it away just like I will.”
“And what if I can’t?” he asked, hating that it was true. That he feared it would always be true.
She looked at him over her shoulder once more. “Then I’ll have to stay away,” she said. “I’ll have to see my sister without you being around. I’ll have to separate myself. I would walk away rather than destroy her.”
Her voice had elevated as she said those words and he opened his mouth to retort when the door to the terrace closed and they both turned to see who had intruded. It was Miss Westinghouse and she rushed toward them.
“Oh, please, you two mustn’t argue,” she said, her hands clasped before her. “I cannot bear it.”
Lily’s breath sucked in and out and she gave George a pleading look that all but broke his heart. She returned her gaze to her sister. “Dearest, what—what did you hear?”
“Just you speaking in a loud voice as I exited,” Miss Westinghouse said, and glanced between them, her expression lined with worry. “And I can see your fraught expressions. It’s obvious you two were arguing, that you have a strain between you, just as you seem to have had since Lily’s arrival.”
George ducked his head and fought to retain some control over his rolling emotions. He and Lily could not do this here, not now. She was right that they couldn’t hurt Miss Westinghouse this way, even if he didn’t think himself capable of just forgetting what had happened between them. That it wouldn’t color the rest of his life the way that it had colored the last week since he’d touched this woman.
“Wewerehaving a disagreement,” he said softly. “But you needn’t worry.”
“I must do,” Miss Westinghouse insisted. She caught her sister’s hand. “Lily, we must address the obvious, I think.”
Lily paled further, if that was possible. For a moment he feared she would faint from lack of blood to the head. “The obvious?” she repeated.
“Yes. Iknowyou have worries about this marriage because you don’t always believe Mama has my best interest at heart. Because your own marriage was so happy that you only want the same thing for me.”
Lily’s lips tightened and she glanced again at George. Of course she would. He knew that secret, too. That her marriage had been anything but joyful.
“I don’t want you to ever be unhappy,” Lily said.
“Well, what makes me unhappy is that you two might not get along. That it would keep us separated as we have been these last six months. Being away from you has broken my heart and I cannot bear to think that could be the rest of my life.” Miss Westinghouse’s eyes filled with tears. “Whatever the troubles between you, won’t you shake hands and agree to get along? Even if you cannot be friends at present, promise me that you won’t be enemies. It’s all I wish for."
She took Lily’s hand, lifting it to her chest with a pleading look. Then, in what felt like slow motion, she extended it toward George. He realized she expected them to shake on it. For him to touch Lily and not react like she was the woman whose passion had set his world upside down.
Lily refused to look at him, but didn’t draw her hand away. He extended his own and took it, letting his thumb slide across her skin before he shook it. Her breath hitched almost imperceptibly.
“My deepest apologies for my part in this, Mrs. Manning,” he said.
Her lip trembled, but she schooled the reaction before she nodded. “And mine to you, Lord Lockhart.”
“There,” Alice said with a wide smile, as if all had been resolved. And for her, it had. “Now please come back into the parlor, won’t you? Clarissa is playing the harp and it’s so lovely.”
