George turned and forced a smile as Kirkwood entered the chamber. “You know me, I never brood.”
Kirkwood’s brow wrinkled and his teasing expression swiftly transformed to one of concern. Fuck, that was no good. His friend would chew on this now like a dog with a bone and there was no way George could explain what was happening in his body and heart. He didn’t fully understand it, himself.
“What’s going on with you?” Kirkwood asked.
Turning back to the window, George sighed. “I don’t know what you mean.”
There was a long enough pause that he looked back over his shoulder to make sure his friend was still there. Kirkwood was, staring at him, arms folded. “When you told me you had decided to marry, that you had consented to the arrangement your mother made, I was concerned.”
“Don’t start,” George muttered.
“I haven’t, not in all these months,” Kirkwood said. “Because you’re a grown man and can usually be trusted to make your own decisions.”
“Usually?” George repeated with a glare.
“Well, in this case, that ability is questionable. It becomes more and more questionable every time I see you with Alice. At first I could brush it off, call the awkwardness and distance between you the consequence of an arranged marriage. I suppose I hoped that you might over time find the same connection with your intended that I have with Clarissa despiteourforced beginnings.”
“You fell in love with my cousin and she with you and I couldn’t be happier for you both. But that isn’t always the way of these types of agreements,” George said. “That reflects nothing on me and my ability to make decisions.”
“I suppose it might not.” Kirkwood’s brow furrowed and his tone softened a little. It sounded a little like pity lacing the undeniable concern when he continued, “And yet this entire matter has been rushed. Like it’s some race to hell for both of you. Meanwhile, you both look as though you’re going to the gallows, not to a happy future together.”
“You’re being melodramatic,” George muttered.
Kirkwood was undeterred. “Is thereanyconnection at all between you and Alice?”
“You already reminded me, so I’ll remind you in turn, there wasn’t a connection between you and Clarissa initially, either, so you’re one to talk,” George snapped, perhaps more harshly than he meant to.
“But it wasn’t likethis.” Kirkwood shook his head. “Clarissa frustrated and fascinated me. I wanted her and Ilikedher. The rest was there, I was just too stubborn to recognize it until it was all I could see.”
George threw up his hands. “What do you want me to say? I’m sure there will be plenty of time in the many years ahead to get to know and appreciate Miss Westinghouse.”
“And that,Jesus. What do you intend to call her when you can no longer hide behindMiss Westinghouse? Or will you switch to Lady Lockhart and eventually Lady Pembrooke? Over time will you forget she has a first name at all?”
George wanted to argue against this intrusion, but it was impossible when everything his friend was saying was true. Painfully, terrifyingly true. To the point that he found himself dreaming of masked women and his intended’s own sister.
“What would you have me do?” he asked, and this time there was no heat to the question.
Kirkwood stepped closer. “I want one of my dearest friends not to be miserable. Partly because you are my wife’s favorite cousin and it would break her heart for you to be so. And partly because I actuallylikeyou.”
“A difficult admission, I’m certain,” George said with a humorless laugh.
“Almost impossible to make.”
He ran a hand through his hair. Kirkwood was his best friend. There was no denying him, even if George couldn’t say everything that bubbled dangerously within his heart and mind. “It’s-it’s too late to change things now,” he said slowly. “It is what it is.”
The desperation that came along with those words nearly drowned George, but somehow he managed to stay upright.
“It won’t be too late until you say I do before God and a church full of people.” Kirkwood’s tone was gentle even though his expression was lined with pain. Pain forhim.
George ignored it. He couldn’t destroy all that would be destroyed by breaking the engagement. Not least of which was his mother’s hopes. She needed them now. He needed to keep his promise to her while he still could.
So instead he changed the subject. “Clarissa seems to be growing close to Li—to Mrs. Manning.”
Kirkwood’s eyebrow arched. “Yes. They seem to like each other, though there was no doubt it would be true. Mrs. Manning is a good friend of the Countesses of Delacourt and Ramsbury and Clarissa adores them. Mrs. Manning, on the other hand, doesnotseem to like you.”
“Yes. Seemingly not,” George admitted. “She told me as much at supper last night.”
A choked laugh was the response. “So directly? Oh, I like her. Did she give any reason why?”
