They both froze as she realized she had called him by that shortened version of his first name. The one she only used when they were intimately entangled. But then again, this conversation felt intimate when it was all about pain and regret. About a self-judgement she wanted to ease.
“I watched you, Cam,” she repeated so he’d know it wasn’t something she apologized for. “I saw what you did in when you fought. You never went further than the fight required. Your opponents stepped into the ring with as much information as you did. They knew the risk as much as you did. But you were one of the few champions who never killed an opponent. That was because you weren’t doing it to hurt others.”
He rubbed a hand over his face. “No, I suppose that was never my goal.”
“I know it wasn’t. Do you know why people loved to watch you? Why those who came to see you still remember you and pay for your drinks?”
“Why?”
“Because there was poetry to you in the ring,” she said, and stepped toward him. She didn’t touch him, but looked up into his eyes, holding him steady just as he’d been holding her steady since her sister’s disappearance. “It was like dance with you. A graceful control of every muscle, every fiber of your being. An almost preternatural focus on your opponent.” She did reach up now and traced the scar she’d been part of creating. “Well, most of the time.”
He caught her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm. “I think you credit me too much.”
“And you credit yourself too little. So perhaps the truth lies somewhere in between.”
The door to the parlor opened and Ripley released her as they faced Miss Knightly’s return as a unit. She held a small box in her hands.
“This is all there is left,” she said, and handed it over to Ripley.
Jane stared. “That’s all? No clothing, nothing else of value?”
“It appears she took it all with her,” Miss Knightly said. “Now I have Miss Fairfax and Miss Greenwich to speak to you. I’ll send them in.”
She pivoted and left the room. Jane gripped the box with all her might. “There’s so little.”
“And that’s another mark in the column that Nora left on her own volition,” Ripley said.
“I suppose that’s true,” Jane whispered, and tried to be cheered by that fact. It was the better of the possible scenarios.
She straightened as two young women came through the door to the study. They were both about the same height as she was. Both were very pretty, one all curves, the other willowy. They were women, not girls. And that meant her sister was a woman, too. It was so hard to picture her that way and not as the child Jane had wept over when she left her at the school, knowing she would hardly see her again in order to protect her.
But she hadn’t protected her in the end, had she?
Miss Knightly followed them in. “This is Miss Fairfax,” she said, indicating the willowy girl with darker hair. “And Miss Greenwich.”
“Thank you, Miss Knightly,” Ripley said, moving to all but herd her from the room. “We won’t be long.”
“I think that—” Miss Knightly began, but he closed the door in her face.
Jane was grateful for it. She knew the girls would be less likely to speak in front of the headmistress if they thought they would get in trouble. She drew a long breath and then stepped toward them with what she hoped was a friendly smile rather than a desperate expression. She noted Ripley stood back, allowing her to handle them.
Once again, he was reading the situation, just as she’d complimented him for doing in the ring.
“Good afternoon, thank you both so much for agreeing to speak to me.”
The girls exchanged a quick glance and Miss Greenwich was the one who spoke. “You’re Nora’s sister, yes? That’s what Miss Knightly said.”
“I am,” Jane said. “And I know you two are her friends. So we all deeply care for her.”
Miss Fairfax pursed her lips a little, as if she didn’t entirely agree with that assessment, but she didn’t say anything about it. But the expression stung. It seemed Nora had spoken to her friends about Jane, and not in a positive light. She’d have to tread carefully.
“Nora is missing,” Jane said. “I think you both know that she disappeared from the school. I only want to know where she’s gone. If she’s safe.”
Miss Greenwich looked her up and down with the judgmental look only a young woman of a certain age could perfect. “She talked about you, you know. I don’t know why you’d pretend to care about her when you didn’t even see her all this time.”
Jane turned her head because the words hit like a slap. Ripley moved like he’d come forward, but she held up a hand. “I realize Nora was angry with me. She had every right to be. There were reasons I had to keep her from me and from our mother. I was trying to protect her and perhaps I didn’t do it well. I hurt her in the process, that’s clear now.”
How the truth of those words stung, reminding her of what her nature was. When she did find Nora, they would have a great deal to discuss, it seemed.
