She cut herself off, her cheeks burning.
“What do you want?” he asked, his voice low and dangerous again. Seductive, she realized.
She glanced at him. “I want more,” she admitted. “I have no idea if that’s right or wrong.”
“How you feel can never be wrong,” he said.
She laughed. “Thatis not true. Not for a lady, certainly not for a countess.”
He appeared troubled by that answer. “Well, I wantthislady,mycountess, to like it when I touch her. I want you to crave this, Clarissa. It’s the most natural thing in the world. I want to feel your pleasure, to know every note of it. And I want you to learn mine.”
She shifted. Learn his pleasure. Give him powerful sensations like he had so easily given them to her. Demure and proper or not, that sounded wonderful. Overpowering. Changing.
“But for now,” he said gently. “As much as I’d like to slide you beneath me and make your legs shake again, I want to give your body time to recover. Later you can have a hot bath, which should ease you. But there’s plenty of time for more, my lady. In fact, I promise you that if nothing else. More and more and more.”
He kissed her as he trailed off and she wrapped her arms around him, pushing away any thoughts, any worries, any confusion about what was right or wrong. About what the stirrings in her chest meant for this union Roderick had never wanted.
He drew away and then tucked her into his body, her back to his chest, his arms warm around her. “Rest now, though. You’ve more than earned it.”
He kissed the side of her neck and she shut her eyes, surrendering to his suggestion. But as she slipped into sleep, she couldn’t help but wonder what her life would look like now. And how she could define herself as countess, lady…as wife to a man who awoke things in her she hadn’t even known her possible.
And made her doubt all the ways she’d seen herself before him.
CHAPTER 15
The first week of Roderick’s marriage had not gone the way he expected. Honestly, as often as he’d thought of meeting the love of his life, how he would immediately recognize her as the match of his heart, he hadn’t thought much past that. Marriage had been a foggy notion to him.
The reality of it wasinteresting. That was the best word for it. Everything about it was new, unexpected, as he began the slow process of learning the woman who was now his wife.
At the moment, Clarissa sat to his left at the breakfast table, going through invitations and household notes, a cup of tea gripped carefully in her fingertips. She had sunk easily into her role as countess. She already knew every servant’s name and at least a little about their circumstances. She was firm but kind in her dealings, always perfectly walking the delicate line between herself and those that served her.
She kept to a rigid schedule. He had learned it almost by heart now. She rose at the same time each day, even if he tried to drag her back into their bed with kisses and pleasure. She readied herself, she answered correspondence, she met with Stevenson for a daily breakdown of what was happening in the household.
Afterward she shared breakfast with Roderick and he watched her just as he was doing now, her still focused on everything but him.
The shell of her propriety existed, even though sometimes he could coax her into his arms in the afternoon, or draw her there at night and strip all that away as he introduced her to more and more pleasure. He was addicted to her at present. To her taste and the way her hair felt when it brushed his skin. To the music of her moans and the tremble of her body when she came.
He shifted in discomfort as his body ached for her, and cleared his throat. She lifted her gaze to his with a little smile.
“What are your plans today, Roderick?” she asked, setting her papers away and focusing all her attention on him. That was another bewitching thing about her. When someone spoke to her, she truly listened.
He winked at her, trying to clear the tension in his body with playful teasing. “I wondered if I might first tempt my lovely wife back to bed.”
She shook her head with a laugh. “I am dressed and ready for my day, my lord.”
“Oh yes, I know how you hate to be mussed,” he said, and took her hand, lifting it to his lips.
She shivered, so he knew she wasn’t immune to him. But the propriety was a wall she built. He shouldn’t care about that. This was no love match and surely the passion would fade at some point. And yet he wished she would let him past that wall. Let him in further than just her body.
He cleared his throat. “Mr. Brightly is in Town.”
“Ah, yes, your estate manager for Stratford Manor in Kirkwood,” she said.
He smiled a little. She did recall every detail. “Yes. We’ll travel to the estate in a few weeks, so I’ll be speaking to him about readying the place and also regarding a few repairs and upgrades that need to be in place before the colder months.”
She nodded. “Yes, I believe the almanac predicted a more bitterwinter in Kirkwood this year.” She worried her lip. “I ought to think about what I can do for our tenants to ensure their comfort. Perhaps prepare baskets when I do my first tour of the estate.”
He stared at her, taken in for a moment by her easy kindness. Her concern for people she hadn’t even met yet. “That’s a lovely idea, Clarissa.”
