She looked up at him and was caught up in the dark intensity of his eyes. How she wished she knew him better to know what he was thinking. It was impossible when all he did was take her hand and didn’t speak further as they returned to the chamber at the top of the stairs. In the antechamber they stopped. She turned to face him.
He was watching her intently. She swallowed hard. “Will you show me your room now?”
“I…I don’t want to rush you, Clarissa.”
Rush her. She supposed that was kind. But it made her worry that perhaps he didn’t want her as much as he had before. That the shine was off the diamond even before they’d begun. The fear loosened her lips.
“You don’t want to”—her cheeks felt like they were on fire—“to consummate the union?”
“Oh no, I most definitely want to consummate this union.” He took both her hands and lifted them to his lips, kissing both sets of knuckles one after the other and sending shockwaves of sensation through her. “But this has been a long day. We’re both still adjusting to all the changes. And I don’t want you to feel obligated to come to my bed. I want you to do it only when you are ready.”
“You really are a gentleman,” she said softly.
He smiled. “Not as much as I should be.”
She let that sink in a moment. He was giving her the space to be ready. But he was also putting the onus to drive this part of the marriage onto her. To make the decision rather than be swept away. She sighed. “I’d like to see your chamber, Roderick. I’d like to do the things a married couple is meant to do, because I’m so nervous about them that I fear I’ll make them into something terrifying if I wait too long. But also because…”
She trailed off and he voice was breathy when he said, “Because?”
“Trust you to make me say it,” she muttered. “Because every timeyou kiss me I feel this pressure all over my body. I’ve been told by friends that it’s desire. That it’s the wanting for what we’ll do in that chamber. I…I want this.”
He moved forward a step and touched her cheek, gliding his fingertips down to her jawline. She leaned into his touch, her eyelids fluttering shut as she gave a shaky sigh. She heard his breath catch, then he leaned in, bent his head and let his lips brush hers gently. She lifted into him, meeting him as she had in the carriage. Now she couldn’t contain a little moan..
“Come then,” he murmured, drawing her across the room toward his chamber. “I won’t make either of us wait anymore.”
Clarissa shook as he drew her into his chamber, his mouth finding hers over and over as he guided her. When they’d stepped inside, he released her and let her step forward and look around while he locked the door behind them to insure privacy.
The other room was blue but this one was done in dark greens, highlighted with lighter colors. The ceiling had a crisscrossed pattern of exposed beams and in the ceiling space created within were different painted scenes, some sweetly innocent and some a little more risqué with couples kissing most passionately.
“My father’s version of the chamber matched hers,” he explained, answering her questions before she could even voice them. “I made it my own.”
“It’s beautiful,” she said, and let her eyes find the bed across the room. It was bigger than the one in the countess’s chamber, with heavy dark green bedclothes and bunches of comfortable-looking pillows.
“Youare beautiful,” he murmured, and stepped behind her, putting his arms around her and drawing her back against his chest. She shivered at the heat of him there, the strength of his body cradling her own. How could one feel nervousandsafe at the same time? They were opposite sensations, weren’t they? “You said your friends told you about desire. Did anyone explain what will happen tonight?”
She nodded and then sucked in a breath as he kissed the spot between her hairline and the neckline of her gown. “My mother tried and only made it sound horrible. But then Marianne and Esme came and explained it better.”
He shook his head without parting his lips from her skin. “It’s like they want to make the marriage as much work as it can be.”
“My parents?”
“Yes.” Slowly he turned her to face him and she stared up into those dark eyes that now held her captive. “I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure tonight is filled with only pleasure.”
He bent his head to hers again and she leaned into his kiss. It was so funny because when he’d first kissed her she’d been so taken off guard, but now she craved the firm pressure of his mouth on hers. She longed for the taste and tease of him as he let his tongue touch hers and turned her bones to liquid. She was spiraling into the pleasure of just that when she realized he had begun to unfasten her gown.
She gasped and drew back to stare at him. “You’re…you’re undressing me.”
He smiled a little. “Being undressed is a requirement. Well, for some it isn’t, but I much prefer it.”
She looked down at herself. He’d already opened three buttons and her dress gaped, revealing the pretty chemise beneath. Slowly, she lifted her hands and covered herself. “No one has seen me naked save a few female servants.”
He nodded. “You’re nervous. Would you prefer if I go first?”
Her eyes widened. She hadn’t thought of that. Him naked for her? “I-I’ve never seen a man naked either.”
She waited for him to become annoyed that she was drawing this out, denying him at every turn, but his expression never gave her that impression. “We’ll go slowly. And if you want me to stop, stop anything, all you need do is say so. What we are going to do to consummate this union should be only a pleasure to us both. If it becomes something else, I don’t want that.”
Slowly, she nodded and then stepped back. “You go first, then.”
