Finn stiffened and reached out to cover her hand. It was very cold, the only indication of how fearful all this made her. He met her gaze. “Esme, you don’t have to. It’syourstory.”
She gave him a sad smile. “No, it’s becomeours, at least this part. And because it involves you, because it might endanger you, I think it’s only fair to include those you love most in what has come to pass.”
“Endanger?” Marianne said softly. “What does that mean? How would Finn be endangered?”
Finn felt Esme’s pain, throbbing just below the surface. He hoped, prayed, she could feel his support just as keenly. If she would spill herself out, he at least didn’t want her to feel alone when she did it. She’d been far too alone for far too long. She deserved a champion, and by God he would be that as long as she allowed it. If that was the only way he could show his love, have it received, then it was what he wanted to do better than anything he’d ever done in his life.
He only hoped he could.
CHAPTER 23
Esme felt Finn’s hand tighten on her own as she drew a shaky breath to begin her story. For a brief, horrible moment, she wondered if he might not be embarrassed by what she might say. If his reluctance was about himself, not her. But when she looked at him, when she saw his warmth and love for her as plain as the wonderful nose on his handsome face, that fear faded.
Slowly, she told her story. About her father’s horrible and sudden death, about her suspicions surrounding the circumstances, about her cousin’s cruelty. She watched as Sebastian and Marianne went through the emotions of horror on her behalf, anger for what she’d endured.
“I know my cousin has said I ran off to whore my way through the continent,” she said, her cheeks burning hot. “Or marry some inappropriate charlatan. But in truth, I ran to escape what I feared were his continued murderous plans.”
“You ran to save your life,” Ramsbury said with an awe to his tone. “Brave of you.”
She blinked at that kindness. “Th-thank you, my lord.”
“Sebastian,” Ramsbury said softly. “My lady.”
She winced. She hadn’t been addressed asmy ladyin an age. “Esme is fine.”
He smiled at her with a nod. “Esme.”
“How did you take care of yourself?” Marianne asked.
In any other woman, Esme might have thought Marianne was trying to force her to admit some shame. But Marianne was too sweet for that. By the way the men exchanged glances, she could see Sebastian had guessed some of it without having to be told the specifics. But Marianne had been sheltered and Esme didn’t want to say that she’d survived on her back for a time, just in case the other woman might not like her as much. Her future husband would surely tell her soon enough.
Another reason why a life with Finn couldn’t be possible.
“I-I box,” Esme admitted. “I go by Hellion.”
Sebastian had taken a drink and now he choked on it, his eyes widening as he set his glass aside. “TheHellion?” he repeated when he had his breath.
“EvenI’veheard of the Hellion,” Marianne said. “You’re a champion, aren’t you?”
Esme nodded. “I know it’s shocking, but I was lucky to make wonderful friends who protected me and helped me find a way to take care of myself after a life of being sheltered from any kind of work.”
They both stared at her, surprise so plain on their faces. She wondered if they would shun her now, kindly of course, but firmly in the end. Perhaps it would be easier. They’d warn Finn against her, it might help him see that loving her couldn’t be enough.
Only that wasn’t what happened. Marianne reached across the table and grabbed her hand in both of hers. She squeezed gently. “You are so wonderfully courageous, Esme.”
Sebastian nodded. “I’m glad to know all this because now I can help.”
“Help?” she repeated with a blank look at Finn. “Why would you help?Howcould you help?”
“The why is simple,” Sebastian said. “I like you. I like him, despite himself. And the how is…perhaps more complicated. I’m your servant, Esme. And I’ve always been yours, Finn, for any duty you’d ask of me. I would like to add that I have developed a friendship of sorts with the Duke of Willowby in the last year or so. We were both interested in the same investment situation and ended up having drinks a few times at Fitzhugh’s. I’m under the impression that he was once was, if not still is, involved with the War Department. I would think he would beveryinterested the kind of activities Finn suspects your cousin of being involved in. Not to mention the potential murder of a peer.”
“Truly?” Finn said with a shake of his head. “I never would have guessed it.”
“I think that’s how he got the limp,” Sebastian said. “He’s very undercover about it all. It’s fascinating. But if you’d like, I could inquire if he might be interested or know parties interested in such information. I’d keep your name out of it, Esme, if you like.”
There was a flash of hope that tore through her at the suggestion and she glanced at Finn. If they could stop her cousin then…
But no. That would end the imminent danger, perhaps, but a return to Society, after all she’d done and been, still felt impossible.
