“Only to someone happily suffering from the same affliction,” Sebastian said with a small smile. “I see it in every part of you.”
“Yes, I am,” Finn admitted, and glanced toward the ring. “I had just told her when you timed your interruption so perfectly.”
Sebastian chuckled. “I’d apologize, but again, wewereinvited.”
“I suppose you were.”
“Do you think she loves you?”
Finn set his drink down and ran a hand through his hair as he thought of Esme’s expression when he’d admitted how he felt. The way her breath had caught, the way emotion had entered her gaze and her fingers had clenched against his chest just a little harder. He thought of all the ways she had trusted him when it wasn’t her nature to do so after all she’d been through. The way she tried to protect him, even to her own detriment.
“I’ve reason to hope,” he whispered, because he feared if he declared those hopes too loudly that they would dissipate into the wind and vanish forever. “She looks at me sometimes and I see…I see…”
“Everything,” Sebastian finished for him softly.
He looked at his friend and saw in that instant how deeply he loved Marianne. It was a comfort to know she would be loved like that. That Sebastian would be. They were the two people he’d cared for most deeply until Esme. He wanted them to be happy.
And yet when he saw the certainty of his friend’s affection in comparison to the endless doubt of his own, it stung all the more. Because he could have,theycould have, something just as beautiful and permanent, but only if she allowed it.
“Yes, I see everything,” he said softly. “But she isn’t the same person she was when she was Lady Charlotte.”
“I noticed you called her Esme,” Sebastian said.
“It’s her name.” He gave no further explanation for that statement. “And she’ll fight. She may not be able to accept my heart or my life or my protection. Even if she wants all of it, she may still walk away.”
“I’m sorry.” Sebastian squeezed his bicep gently. “Can I help?”
Finn gave a humorless laugh. “Are you suddenly so serious and sincere?”
“When it comes to my best friend, my brother…soon in more than heart, in actual name…most definitely.” There was no teasing to those words.
“I-I’m sorry I bucked the idea of you being with Marianne,” Finn said softly.
Sebastian’s forehead wrinkled at the change in subject, but then he shrugged. “I was…oh, that’s an odd thing to say…Iwasa rake. Very proudly so for a very long time. You wanted to keep her safe. I understand now, just as I understood then, why you would see me as a danger to her. But now I take on that duty, myself. It is, in fact, one of my greatest pleasures that I’ll stand by her side and slay any of her dragons for the rest of my days. And I hope that Esme can allow you to give all of yourself to her just as freely and joyfully. You’re a prize, you know.”
Now Finn couldn’t help but snort out a laugh, even though he realized Sebastian was being entirely serious. “Oh, don’t go soft on me now.” He slung an arm around his friend’s shoulders. “I can’t take it.”
“And I can’t take you being so undone,” Sebastian chuckled, the tension in the room broken by their teasing. “Look at you, you’re a mess. Go ready yourself for supper. I’ll do my best to put you in a good light for the lady, though God knows it’s a challenge.”
“God knows,” Finn said as he slugged his friend lightly in the arm, gathered up his things and headed for the door.
But even though they were playing, he feared Sebastian might have actually hit upon a truth that would break Finn’s heart in the end: that there might be no positive light that would be enough to break through the shell Esme felt she had to put around herself.
And that would be the loss of his life.
CHAPTER 22
Esme smiled as she looked around the soft pinks and yellows that decorated Marianne’s old room. There was a sweetness to the chamber, with its ragged toys lined along one windowsill as if they were old friends, the remnants of girlish days past. It made her wonder what had happened to her own old stuffed bear toy, Mr. Nix. It was likely her rotten cousin had burned him, along with everything else she’d ever owned. A depressing thought, indeed, to be erased from history so easily.
Marianne came into the bedroom from the dressing chamber with a few gowns draped over her arm. “These are older, of course. I’ve lived in my own home for several years, but we needn’t be the most fashionable for a friendly family supper. And I honestly always liked the higher waists from the gowns three years ago. They’re a little lower now and I always feel they hit me wrong.”
“They could not,” Esme said with a smile she didn’t have to force. “You are so utterly lovely in that yellow, I cannot imagine you look anything but perfect in whatever you wear.”
Marianne blushed and set the dresses on the bed, then smoothed her skirt. “Oh, that’s very kind.”
Esme found herself taking a step toward the gowns, drawn in by the beautiful fabrics and the fine cuts. She had almost forgotten what those things were like. She touched the silk of a dark green dress and jerked her hand back. Her palms were too rough for such a thing, it seemed, but the fabric was so lovely, with little swirls and in the slightest lighter green than the main color.
“I wouldn’t even know what was in fashion anymore,” she murmured.
