She flinched. Yes, he’d said horrible things about her, as well. She’d let them slip off, rolling from her like water because she couldn’t bear to listen to what he’d likely told everyone she’dever known or cared for. That Finn included her in his rage toward her cousin was…comforting.
And what he said about building trust made sense, damn him. She folded her arms. “I…can understand that.”
“Well, thank you very much,” he said with sarcasm dripping from every word. “But none of it is the fucking point. How long have you been here?”
“In the hallway?” she asked, lifting her chin because she knew that wasn’t what he was asking.
His eyes fluttered shut out of frustration. “Please.”
She shrugged. “I slipped in through the servants’ entrance while everyone was busy with final preparation and immediately snuck up to the balcony. The door to it was locked, as you said it would be, but I picked it.”
“You picked the lock,” he repeated. “I don’t know whether to be impressed by all this or even more exasperated.”
“I was correct about what I said before. No one even knew I was up in the rafters, watching them dance and play without a care. I was perfectly safe.”
“And when you followed me and the man you believed murdered your father? The one you were so afraid of that you bolted from your life and home like a spooked rabbit?”
She clenched her hands before her. She really had no response to that charge. It had been reckless, something Jane and Ripley would have railed at her about, as well.
Finn stepped closer. “What if he’d seen you?” His voice was ragged. “What if he’d heard you like I did? I said I would handle this, Esme.”
She shook her head. “And why should I trust you? I don’t even know you.”
“Don’t you?” He closed whatever small remaining distance there was between them and now he invaded her space completely. Her mind and soul, as well. “Well, I know you.You are hard as steel thanks to everything you’ve gone through. You’re a fighter in reality, a fighter in every way that the word could be defined. But you’ve spent years taking care of everything for yourself and nowI am here.”
All her breath had left her lungs with that assessment that struck her to her core. Now she stared at him, unable to stop shaking. “Why?”
His expression softened slightly and he reached out to cup her cheek. His fingers, still clad in gloves, traced her jawline. “Because of your father.” He drew a short breath and shook his head. “Because ofyou, Esme. Because I can’t not be here. I look at you and Imustbe here. I’m not walking away. Please, please trust me.”
He was too close and yet somehow not close enough. Her world was spinning and she gripped his forearms in a wild attempt to find purchase. But touching him only brought need, harsh, undeniable need that filled the holes in her left behind by loss and sorrow and fear.
She lifted on her tiptoes and caught his cheeks. She tugged him to her, finding no resistance, and then she kissed him. There was hunger to his kiss the moment it began and he crushed her closer, his mouth devouring and pleasing and driving. She moaned against him, unable to think or bargain when they were staggering together toward the settee in front of the cold fire.
He fell first, seating himself, and she straddled over him, lifting against him as he cupped her to him and ground her down to feel his desire for her. She whimpered, increasing the kiss, rubbing him like a cat in heat, needing his touch the same way she needed breath, no matter how foolhardy an admission that was.
He seemed to know it. He pushed at her gown and chemise with a curse that was muffled against her lips. Together theyfought the straining buttons of his trousers and then his cock was free to brush against her inner thigh.
She moaned with pleasure and lifted, positioning him against her entrance before she took him in one slick heavy thrust. They gasped together, foreheads touching, bodies lifting and falling in unison. He cupped her closer, she rode him recklessly and found herself at the edge so swiftly that she could scarcely believe it. What this man did to her…it was unbelievable.
She came with a gulping gasp he caught on his tongue, and he lifted to meet her jerky thrusts of her hips. He increased his tempo from below, his neck straining, his hands gripping her. Then he slid her back gently and came between them, spilling himself beneath her skirts as they both cried out with pleasure.
His fingers gripped looser on her skin as their breath matched and his arms came around to hold her closer. “Go to my chamber,” he said softly, his words tickling her neck. “Wait for me there. We can discuss this situation further after the ball.”
She stiffened at the order, there was no denying that’s what it was, but fought her urge to refuse him just for the sake of keeping control. That hadn’t gotten her anything but his intense frustration in the end. And to be truthful, she was tired now. Wrung out emotionally and physically. She needed space from everything that happened tonight before she faced off with him again and tried to keep distance from everything he stirred up in her mind and soul.
“Esme,” he whispered, lifting his gaze to hers.
“Yes,” she murmured before she dropped her lips for another long, drugging kiss that made her want to just take him back into her body and never let him go. At least when they were tangled in each other, everything made sense.
She stood and he stuffed himself back into place, swiftly becoming the proper earl again as if he hadn’t just made herquiver around his cock thirty feet from the ballroom where the world celebrated his sister’s engagement.
She smoothed her skirts, feeling the wet heat of him against her skin, loving that it was her secret beneath her clothes. She moved to the door and together they peeked out into the empty hallway. She gave him one more glance before she tiptoed away to the backstairs where she could creep into his room and regroup.
She had to for her own sake. Because this man was like quicksand and she was starting to want to stay in the mire even if it might swallow her up in the end.
CHAPTER 17
Never before had a night gone by so slowly. Every remaining moment of the ball had felt like an eternity. In the end, he’d all but kicked out the last stragglers, feeling his sister and Sebastian watching him with every move he made. They had both made it clear they thought something was amiss with him. Neither was the type to stop pushing. Eventually that might cause problems, but he’d convinced them to leave without pressing. And now he was alone, climbing the stairs to his chamber where he knew Esme waited for him.
