He looked down at her, stroking her hair away from her lovely face. “You were exploring?”
“You said I might.”
“Yes, and I meant it. Did you like the house?”
She laughed. “How could anyone not? It’s beautiful. One could tuck themselves away in any parlor or other chamber and just live comfortably forever.”
He took in a shaky breath at that idea. That she might fit herself into the life he’d built.Forever.
“The servants have been busy in the ballroom preparing for Marianne and Sebastian’s engagement soiree,” he said.
“Yes. It’s beautiful in there. It will be a magical event, just as your sister deserves,” Esme said. “I realized I’d never been in your ballroom. Not even before I ran away. It has those lovely little observatory balconies.”
Finn swallowed. He wasn’t about to tell her how many assignations had been had in those balconies over the centuries. He could picture having her there now, her trembling fingers wrapped around the balcony edge, her body flush against his as he took her. They would both try to be quiet as people gathered below, completely oblivious to what wicked things were happening just above their dancing heads. God, how he wished he could.
“Yes. They’re rarely used now, but they add a bit of whimsy to the room, I think.”
“They would also make a very good place for a person to hide during an event. To observe without being seen.” She smiled at him broadly, as if she were proud of herself for this thought.
He wrinkled his brow. “I suppose. Who would be spying on an event, though?”
“Me,” she said. “When I attend your sister’s ball, I could sit unseen up there and observe my cousin myself. It would be perfect, Finn.”
He sat up and stared at her. The idea that she would potentially endanger herself by being exposed during his party made a cold hand of terror wrap around his heart. He shook his head. “No, Esme. Absolutely not.”
If the moments after they made love had been lazy and calm, now Finn’s face twisted with emotion that put Esme immediately on guard. His tone was tense, unbendable as he utterly refused her very good plan.
“What do you meanno?” she asked, sitting up herself and staring at him.
“I mean it wouldneverwork. What if you were recognized either by your cousin or by some other person who knew you before? The circumstances surrounding your disappearance were and remain of great interest. If you reappeared there would be no keeping it secret.Hewould find out.”
She tilted her head. She’d initially thought he was just being heavy handed, but now she could see that wasn’t it. Finn looked…afraid. For her. This was about protection. Who had last offered her such a gift? It had to have been Jane and Ripley. But this felt different. It felt wonderful and terrifying all at once.
“I wouldn’t be out in the middle of the ballroom filling up a dance card, Finn. I’d be hidden, as I said. I could even be disguised.”
He caught her hands and held them gently, but firmly. His gaze was the same, locked on hers, willing her to bend to his demands. “Esme, I don’t think you understand?—”
She pulled away and got out of the bed. She grabbed for her dress and held it up before herself, shielding her nakedness and wishing she could do the same to cover the emotions that bubbled up in her. Ones she couldn’t share with someone like him. With anyone.
“Idon’t understand?” she snapped. “Do you forget yourself? You can speak to simpering misses in such a fashion, but not me. I’ve experienced far more danger in my life than you could imagine.”
He took a long breath and she saw his sorrow for her softening his frustration. He got out of the bed, doing nothing to cover the beautiful body that had so pleased her just a little while before.
“I know,” he said. “I apologize. When I say this, it isn’t to dismiss your experience. I know you have seen and done things I couldn’t fathom.”
Did he judge her for those things? She couldn’t fully tell so she folded her arms and lifted her chin.
He continued, “You’ve been through so much. My true fear is that you might be so focused on your hopes to uncover the truth about whatever your cousin’s involvement in your father’s death that you won’t think of your safety. One of us must think of your wellbeing if that’s the case.”
She blinked. He was sayinghewould tend to her wellbeing. That he would protect her even if she refused to protect herself. But she couldn’t depend on that offer. It wasn’t real and it certainly couldn’t be long lasting. If she learned to lean on him, it would make standing on her own so much harder when he was long gone and on to more appropriate lovers and loves.
“My safety isn’t your concern, my lord,” she said softly. “Not truly.”
He stared at her for a moment, his expression hardening with that dismissal. “Perhaps it’s not at that. But I’m telling you that youwill notcome to this ball, Esme. You willnotuse my home to endanger yourself when I’m perfectly capable of handling my end of our bargain.”
She set her jaw, but he had done the same and so they stared at each other, two stubborn people unable to bend toward each other when they were both equally certain they were right.
“So that is the end of the discussion?” she asked.
