When Finn turned back to light a few lamps, he found Marianne had already returned to the settee. She was seated with her back straight and hands folded in her lap. Waiting for judgment, he supposed. He had no idea how to meter it at this point and he was suddenly exhausted by this, by everything.
“I’m doing my best not to shout and draw the attention of over fifty people gathered in our ballroom,” he said at last when he found words. “So I will ask that you two do not trifle with me, do not lie to me. What the hell is going on that I would find you two in such a situation?”
“I tricked him,” Marianne began. “He thought I was someone else.”
Finn stared at her, at the idea that she would be so duplicitous. That she would force herself into such a situation when she had always been so shy, so locked to the wall where she hid. He supposed they had both done quite a bit of hiding after their mother’s death. He winced at the thought.
“That’snottrue,” Ramsbury said softly, drawing Finn’s attention. He was staring at Marianne and in that moment Finn saw something in his eyes. He saw that his friend, the consummate rake,caredabout her.
“Sebastian.” Marianne rose and stepped toward him. “Don’t. Don’t.”
He shook his head. “You are too good, Marianne. Too good for me, certainly. I won’t let you do this.”
Now all Finn could do was stare from one to the other as what was truly happening here became increasingly clear. “So she lied.”
“To protect me,” Ramsbury said. “Yes. What you walked in on is exactly what you think it was. I engaged in ungentlemanly behavior with your sister. I knew the consequences to our friendship if you were to find out. I did it anyway because my attraction toward her was irresistible.”
Finn swallowed hard. “He took advantage.”
Marianne shook her head. “Never. Never once. I know it’s hard for you to see me as a woman with feelings and needs and a heart,” she said. “But Iamthose things, Finn. I didn’t want to have so many regrets and missed opportunities when I’m at the end and looking back. Sebastian has been my friend for so long. And I’ve…I’ve cared for him as more than a friend for nearly as long.”
And there it was. The thing he’d always known was true, the thing he’d always tried to protect her from. And yet, as he looked at Ramsbury, it was apparent he’d misunderstood a great deal in this situation. But he still needed to manage this. To distance them, to give himself time to process what to do next. How to handle this. How to handle everything, because in that moment his entire life felt out of control.
“Go up to your chamber, Marianne,” he said softly. “I’ll explain to those at the party that you were stricken with a headache. The result of all your hard work to make this ball so successful, no doubt.”
“You’re banishing me,” she whispered.
“No.” Finn met her gaze. “I’m allowing you a chance not to have spying eyes on you when your hair is half down thanks to him. Not to be forced to pretend that this untenable situation hasn’t happened. And giving myself an opportunity to calm down before we speak about this again.” He moved forward. “Please, Mari. Just go.”
She looked toward Ramsbury, a world of unspoken communication moving between them. Then she lifted her chin and strode from the room as she’d been asked. He noted she didn’t shut the door behind herself.
“Still protecting you, it seems,” Finn said as he moved to do what she hadn’t. When he turned back, he leaned against the barrier and shook his head. “You betrayed me. Betrayed my singular request of you.”
“I did.”
Finn waited for more, but Ramsbury remained quiet now. “That’s all you have to say?”
A long silence hung between them and Ramsbury shifted. “Is there anything I could say?”
“I don’t know.” Finn threw up his hands as frustration overcame him. “For years and years, I’ve stood by you. I never judged your worst impulses. Hell, I sometimes indulged in them. I knew who you were, or at least I thought I did. And I asked you this one thing, out of respect for me and our friendship.”
“I know,” Ramsbury said.
“So tell me you regret doing this, tell me you’re sorry you did something that will change our friendship irrevocably.”
The silence stretched out even longer this time. A lifetime. Then Ramsbury’s expression collapsed a fraction and he said, “I’m—I’m not sorry that I touched Marianne.”
And there it was. What he now suspected put into words, at least as close as he thought he would get given the circumstances. There had been an affair between his innocentsister and the biggest rake in England. But it was more than that. On both sides. Now what would come of that…remained to be seen. He sighed. “In the morning, you’ll leave at dawn. I don’t care where you go, but you won’t be here. I’ll make some excuse about an emergency that called you away.”
“I understand.”
Finn shook his head. He had a thousand reasons to be angry at this situation and yet one feeling overwhelmed the others. He was envious. His sister and his best friend seemed to have dived headfirst into something they were willing to risk their worlds for. And Finn couldn’t help but think of the Hellion and how she wouldn’t even risk her name.
He pivoted and moved to the door.
“Don’t be hard on her,” Ramsbury called out. “She doesn’t deserve that.”
Finn stopped moving. Marianne had tried to protect Ramsbury. Now he returned the favor. “No,” he agreed softly. “She doesn’t.”
