Her breath was nonexistent now as she stared up into those brown eyes that pulled her in, drowned her, reminded her of who she’d once been before life had destroyed any hope she had of a future as a lady. If she went with him, she would surrender. She knew that. She would give over and she might not be able to stop. He would strip her clothing away, her barriers, she feared her masks would go too. Not just the one she wore on her face but the ones that protected her soul, her body, her life.
And yet she still longed to do just that. To give herself in every way to this man who seemed so driven to protect her even when he didn’t know her.
She blinked. He couldn’t know her. She couldn’t let him any closer.
She stared up at him. He was patiently awaiting her response. Not pushing, not asking, not demanding. He was just waiting, almost like he understood that this was complicated and she needed a moment to consider.
God, but she wanted him. And she couldn’t deny herself just a taste of what could have been.
She lifted up on her tiptoes and cupped his cheeks, her fingertips playing along the edge of his mask. She drew him down, tilted her head and took his lips.
He tasted of ale, of desire, and she opened to him, tracing his lips, swallowing his moan when he drove to meet her tongue. The desperation, the need that had coursed between them since their first meeting was evident in the ever-increasing passion of the kiss. His arms came tighter around her, his body grew harder against her stomach. She lifted against him, fingers clutching at his jacket as she tried to find some way to mold herself even closer.
Her head was spinning, her body was trembling, between her legs she throbbed with desire more powerful than any she’d felt in a very long time and she never wanted this to end.
But she had to end it regardless. At last she pulled back. He released her, both their breath short as they stared at each other. He seemed as stunned by the power of that passion as she felt.
She swallowed hard. “I can’t, my lord. It wouldn’t be wise. Good—good night.”
She said nothing else, but slipped away from him, just as she had the first night they met here. And just like the first night, he let her go without demand or anger or frustration.
Only this time she knew it wouldbethe end. He said he was leaving London for a while. His ardor would cool, helped along by her rejection, and the likelihood that they would see each other again was miniscule.
A fact that made her heart ache, even though she should have felt nothing about it, nothing about him, nothing about any of this except for relief that she hadn’t revealed herself and ended the life she’d spent so long building.
CHAPTER 5
Normally when Finn went to his country estate just outside of London for his annual gathering of friends, he was carefree. He forgot whatever troubles were going on in his life and just enjoyed himself. But he’d been at the estate for days now and all he could think about was his last few moments with the Hellion. God, he wished he knew her name. He knew her taste, he knew the feel of her hands moving against him, he knew the way she sounded when she let out a quiet sigh of pleasure.
But he still knew nothing at all and he couldn’t stop tormenting himself. He dreamed of her. He was distracted from all events at the estate. He even found himself trying to talk about fighting with friends, not because it was a shared pastime, but because he wanted to know if any of them had information about the woman beyond what he knew, himself.
He tried to refocus on the present for the tenth time in an hour and glanced across the parlor where the party were talking and laughing. He found his sister in the group, standing with Ramsbury. Standing very close to Ramsbury, staring up at him as they seemed to speak quite seriously.
He frowned. When Ramsbury glanced down at her, there was something in his expression. A longing as hard as his own thathit Finn in the chest. What was going on there? Had he missed something just beneath his own nose?
Marianne executed a brief curtsey and left Ramsbury’s side. As the earl watched her go, his mouth a thin line, Finn made his way across the room to him.
“That’s a hangdog expression,” Finn said carefully as he reached him. “Is there anything you wish to discuss with me?”
Ramsbury’s scowl deepened. “You’re one to talk,” he snapped. “You’ve been moping about since our arrival. Is there anythingyouwish to discuss withme?”
Finn stiffened. In truth, he did wish he could bring up the subject of the Hellion with Ramsbury. He needed to tell someone that he longed for a woman whose face he’d never fully seen and whose name he didn’t know. That he was drowning and had no idea where to swim to find safety again.
But what a fool that would make him. He had no future with the woman, she didn’t want him, if her continued rejections were any indication.
He cleared his throat. “I’d be more interested in talking to you about my sister.”
Ramsbury looked at him and to Finn’s surprise his friend’s expression was suddenly desperate and filled with pain. “I cannot. Excuse me.”
He pivoted and stalked away, Finn staring after him in shock. He’d known Ramsbury for a lifetime, but never seen him like this. He turned and found Marianne next. She was standing at the fireplace, absently worrying a little figurine that normally rested there. He moved to her and forced a smile.
“Have I thanked you yet for organizing another successful gathering for my friends?” he asked.
She glanced up at him with a wobbly smile of her own. “I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. You’ve seemed off lately. Is there anything you wish to discuss?”
He blinked. He’d been about to ask her the same thing, press about whatever was going on with Sebastian. Make sure it wasn’t something that could threaten the well-being of his beloved sister.
“It seems there’s something off in the air lately,” he said with a sigh. “Perhaps everyone is feeling it.”
