“Are you saying that my being shocking is arousing to you?” she asked.
“Being around you in any way is arousing,” he admitted softly, his gaze never leaving hers, even as he guided her around other couples and their protruding wings. “But yes, it’s always fun to be set on one’s head by a partner. Keeps a man on his toes.”
They made a few more turns together and then Marianne sighed. “Was Miss Manningyourmistress?”
His expression softened. “Are you jealous?”
“I know I’ve no place to be,” she said slowly.
“She was never my mistress,” he said, and his fingers tightened against her lower back briefly. “I’ve had mistresses, of course. A few I even met at Vivien’s gatherings. She’s known as a sort of matchmaker for men and their mistresses. But I haven’t had a mistress for a long time, Marianne.”
“You haven’t?” She sighed. That fact made her feel better, foolish as the reaction was. “Your past is your own, I know. I have no right to demand to know more about it.”
“I was jealous of you and Lanford,” he said.
“You were?”
“Burning with it,” he admitted, and then shocked her by bending his head and pressing his lips to hers gently. It was brief, but the public display still made her blush. When he pulled away, he said, “I wanted to do that in front of him, to lay some kind of barbaric claim on you. Unfair, I know, but no less true. So you’re not alone in that unpleasant reaction.”
The song they were dancing to ended and the orchestra began with a livelier one. He laughed as he swung her around in time and they fell into the steps. “Come, let’s enjoy ourselves. Let’s dance and watch the couples and gossip shamelessly about them and drink Vivien’s punch, but not too much, because she doesn’t water it down.”
She couldn’t help but smile at his enthusiasm, at his focus on her, at the light of him that made everything that had ever been dark seem…better. And she nodded and fell into the joy of simply being with him. Even if it could lead to nothing, the moment of it was worth any pain that might follow.
So many hours later that he could hardly count them, Sebastian helped Marianne back into his carriage and then joined her, letting her rest her head on his shoulder. It had been a remarkable night. Unlike in Society ballrooms, where he had so often felt her tension, Marianne had allowed herself to be free at Vivien’s. She’d danced and laughed, she’d been kind to everyone she met, regardless of their station. She’d blushed when the desires of those around them became clear or when she noticed how naughty some of the wallpaper or art pieces were.
In short, she had been a delight and watching her, being with her, had only strengthened all of Sebastian’s resolve. Now he smoothed her hair and said, “Will you come back to my home?”
She lifted her head slightly and her gaze glittered in the darkness. “Go home with you?”
He nodded. “Please. I don’t want this night to end. I could teach you billiards. Isn’t that on your list?”
She smiled. “You really did read closely. In fact, aside from filling my dance card, I believe learning billiards is the last item on my…Claudia’slist.”
“Then let me help you cross it off. Come home with me.”
“Is that the only reason?” she whispered.
The question was bold and he smiled. God, but he loved this side of her. The one that didn’t fear the consequences because she trusted him. Because she trusted herself.
“If you would allow me, I’d certainly give you other reasons to stay,” he said, and lifted her hand to his lips, brushing her skin gently. “I would make up for the last time we were imprudent and interrupted before I could give you everything you so deserve and more.”
“I’ll go home with you.”
He reached back and knocked twice on the wall and the carriage picked up speed as it headed toward his home. She tilted her head in question.
He shrugged. “I said if I knocked once to take you back to your home. If twice, we’d go to mine.”
“An excellent system,” she said as she rested her head back on his shoulder.
They were quiet on the rest of the ride to his estate. Normally, he might have felt uncomfortable in such silence, tried to fill it, but with Marianne there wasn’t a need. He simply looked at their intertwined fingers, resting against his thigh. It was all soeasy.
They reached the estate in half an hour and soon enough were inside. He dismissed his butler and any other servants, with Marianne blushing beside him and refusing to meet the eyes of anyone they passed.
“They’re discreet,” he said as he pushed open the door to the billiards room and motioned her inside.
“I suppose they must be,” she said, “over the years. You must have brought many ladies here.”
He tracked her as she moved to the billiards table and leaned her hands against the edge, her thumbs brushing the velvet fabric absently. “You’ve brought up my past and all its rumored lovers twice tonight,” he said softly. “Would you like to discuss that further?”
