“Oh.” Beulah sighed. “That’s too bad. But still. Thesconces, Marianne!”
She couldn’t help but laugh. “I suppose I couldn’t turn down an opportunity to see bejeweled sconces, now could I? Are they diamonds or emeralds or…”
“My understanding is that there is a wide variety of gems.” Beulah rubbed her hands together. “I shall write the acceptance to Lady Wilmington right after breakfast and I think you should wear that dark blue gown that Hannah altered so prettily for you recently.”
Marianne sighed but nodded. “Of course, Aunt Beulah, I’ll do just that. Now, why don’t you tell me of your visit with Cousin Fiona? I was sad she wasn’t still here when I returned.”
“Oh, Fiona,” Beulah rolled her eyes and leaned forward with the light of gossip brightening her face. “Let me tell you all about Fiona and her misadventures in Bath before her arrival.”
Marianne leaned in, too, trying to lose herself in her aunt’s tale of their sweet but slightly featherbrained cousin’s attempt to buy a hat in Bath, but her heart sank with every thought of going to a ball tonight. Her heart was certainly not in the exercise. And worse, she feared she might see Sebastian there. All the possibilities of what might happen in this first meeting after everything that had transpired between them was terrifying.
But she supposed it had to happen sometime, so if it was tonight at least that would get the awkwardness over faster and she could start moving on with her life. A life that felt a little duller knowing she wouldn’t have those wonderful encounters with the man she loved so desperately.
Lord and Lady Wilmington’s London ballroom was impressive, even Marianne could admit that as she trudged into the sparkling chamber at her aunt’s side that night. Still, as bright and glorious as the room was, with its sparkling chandeliers and finely liveried servants and the famous sconces dazzling with the candlelight behind them, she felt nothing but dread as the servant announced their arrival.
Eyes turned toward them and lingered a moment, then the groups returned to their discussions. Marianne noticed a few gentlemen tracking her as she made her way through the crush, but she made no effort to connect. She didn’t want to attract attention tonight. Claudia’s dream toFill My Dance Cardwas no longer one Marianne wished to share, even if the opportunity was there to finally complete that item.
“I see some friends there,” Beulah said.
“Very good,” Marianne replied with a brief squeeze to her aunt’s hand. “I think I’ll just find a place along the wall and gather myself a little.”
Beulah nodded and they parted ways. Marianne weaved through the crowd until she reached the wall where she took her old place. She ducked her head so that she would send the message she didn’t wish to be bothered and hoped she would fade into the woodwork soon enough.
But just as she was getting comfortable, the footman at the door announced, “The Earl of Ramsbury.”
She jerked her head up to watch as Sebastian strode into the ballroom. Her breath caught as she saw him for the first time in what felt like a lifetime. Even from a distance, she was dazzled by him, by how handsome he looked in his formal attire, by how his confidence was clear in every certain step, in every acknowledging bow of his head to friends. He scanned the ballroom, clearly searching for someone. And then his gaze fell on her and she realized it was her he was looking for.
She started to shake as he made his way across the room to her. The attention had to be obvious to those around him, for he entirely ignored everyone else as he made his way to her. Her heart was pounding and she felt out of breath as he stopped before her at last and his blue stare swept over her from head to toe like a caress.
“Marianne,” he said.
She tried to recall how to formulate words as she gave a small curtsey. “Sebastian,” she whispered back, for she could get no more strength into her voice.
He smiled at her. “I so hoped you would be here tonight. Will you dance with me?”
He held out a hand and she stared at it. The last time she’d touched that hand, it had been smoothing over her naked flesh, arousing and pleasing her in ways she feared she’d never fully feel again except in her most wicked dreams.
“At some point you need to say yes or no, Marianne,” he said gently.
She shook her head. “I’m sorry, I was distracted. Yes, I’ll dance with you.”
He let out what sounded to be a sigh of relief and watched closely as she took his hand. There was a jolt of awareness that moved through her when they touched. It hadn’t been so very long since it had last happened, but it felt like a lifetime and she longed to feel his arms come around her in more intimate ways than the country dance they were about to begin would allow.
They took their places in the line of dancers and he smiled at her from across the aisle between them. He looked entirely untroubled, as if the distance between them hadn’t been a bother at all. But of course it likely hadn’t. He hadn’t seen her as anything more than a lover. A person to pass the time with. And yet her heart ached as she looked at him, drank in all the lines of him.
Their first turn down the line came a few moments later and he reached out to take her hands as they did their first skipping steps together.
“I’ve worried about you incessantly,” he said now that they could quietly speak. “And how you fared after my departure to London.”
She glanced up at him briefly as he gently turned her and then continued down the line. “And I worried about you. But I assure you that you needn’t be concerned. I was well and no one found out about…about everything except for Finn.”
They were forced to part then as they took their spot to watch the other couples. Only Sebastian wasn’t doing that. He continued to stare at her, his expression more troubled than before. She shifted beneath the focused regard and when it became their turn to meet in the middle of the aisle again, she said, “I appreciate your kindness in asking me to dance, but I understand if you want nothing to do with me after Finn kicked you out of the party.”
His brow knitted and his hand was warm on her back as he spun her gently. “He had every right. I behaved badly.”
They were parted again and she frowned. There was something like remorse in his tone and she wondered how he felt about everything…about her…truly. They would have one more turn down the line before the end of the song and when it came after what seemed like an eternity, she said, “Does that mean you regret everything that transpired?”
He slightly stumbled in his steps before he said, “No, not at all.”
