She smoothed her hands over her skirt and nodded. “It’s…it’s true. I saw Sebastian come into the room from the terrace and I followed him. He must have been expecting someone else, but it was so dark that when he kissed me, he didn’t know it was me. I let him, Finn. I know I’ll be a spinster forever and I let him without ever revealing myself. I tricked him into what happened, so you shouldn’t blame him.”
Sebastian stared at her, mouth dropping open in shock. Marianne would sacrifice herself for him? Try to save a friendship that she knew meant the world to him, and in the process possibly damage her own relationship with Delacourt?
“Marianne,” Delacourt whispered, his gaze shifting to Sebastian with confusion now. “Is this true?”
She opened her mouth to say yes, still offering Sebastian that lifeline. But he couldn’t allow it. He couldn’t dismiss her like this lie would require. He couldn’t pretend that this hadn’t been something with more meaning than a dark, anonymous passion that horrified him when he saw the truth. Hewouldn’tpretend that, consequences be damned.
“It’snottrue,” he said softly.
“Sebastian.” She stepped toward him, hand outstretched as if she would touch his hand like she had so many times in quiet comfort. “Don’t. Don’t.”
He shook his head. “You are too good, Marianne. Too good for me, certainly. I won’t let you do this.”
Delacourt stared from her and back to Sebastian. “So she lied.”
“To protect me,” he said. “Yes. What you walked in on is exactly what you think it was. I engaged in ungentlemanly behavior with your sister. I knew the consequences to our friendship if you were to find out. I did it anyway because my attraction toward her was irresistible.”
Marianne’s breath caught and she stared at him in surprise. He shifted beneath the powerful emotion that was unguarded on her face in that moment. And he knew Delacourt saw it too. His lips pinched.
“He took advantage,” Delacourt said, the anger rolling from him once again.
She shook her head. “Never. Never once. I know it’s hard for you to see me as a woman with feelings and needs and a heart,” she said. “But Iamthose things, Finn. I didn’t want to live my life like Claudia did, to reflect only on regrets and missed opportunities when I’m at the end and looking back. Sebastian has been my friend for so long. And I’ve…I’ve cared for him as more than a friend for nearly as long.”
Sebastian tensed. She wouldn’t look at him and yet it felt like she was reaching into his heart and squeezing.
She continued without ever knowing her effect on him. “What happened between us was between two adults. It has nothing to do with you, Finn. It has nothing to do with your friendship.”
“Bloody hell it doesn’t,” Delacourt snapped. He shook his head. “God, I don’t even know what to do. I never imagined my maiden sister would crawl into the lap of one of the biggest rakes in England.”
Marianne drew back, her dark eyes flashing briefly. “Oh, I’m sorry, is it so hard to believe that I might have some daring in my soul? That I might want more than to be some man’s consolation prize as a bride? That I mightwantto feel the things I felt in Sebastian’s arms?”
Delacourt flinched and turned his head. He let out his breath shakily. “Go up to your chamber, Marianne,” he said softly. “I’ll explain to those at the party that you were stricken with a headache. The result of all your hard work to make this ball so successful, no doubt.”
“You’re banishing me,” she said, tears filling her eyes that broke Sebastian’s heart because they were his fault.
“No.” His tone became gentler, and for that Sebastian was happy. “I’m allowing you a chance not to have spying eyes on you when your hair is half down thanks to him. Not to be forced to pretend that this untenable situation hasn’t happened. And giving myself an opportunity to calm down before we speak about this again.” He moved forward. “Please, Mari. Just go.”
Sebastian turned his head. He’d asked her to do the same not an hour ago. She’d refused. Refused to leave him, refused to pretend like what was happening between them wasn’t real and powerful. She was far braver than Sebastian.
However, she listened to her brother this time and only gave Sebastian one more glance before she marched from the room with her head held high. He noticed she left the door open behind herself.
“Still protecting you, it seems.” Delacourt rolled his eyes as he went to the door and shut it himself. When he turned back, he leaned against the barrier and shook his head. “You betrayed me. Betrayed my singular request of you.”
“I did,” Sebastian said, because he could deny none of it.
Delacourt shook his head and his mouth turned farther down. “That’s all you have to say?”
“Is there anything I could say?” Sebastian asked.
Now that Marianne was gone and he no longer felt the drive to protect her, the truth of this situation became more and more clear. And increasingly painful. Delacourt could hardly look at him now and when he did it was with an expression heavy with disgust.
“I don’t know.” Delacourt threw up his hands. “For years and years, I have stood by you. I never judged your worst impulses. Hell, I sometimes indulged in them. I knew who you were, or at least I thought I did. And I asked you this one thing, out of respect for me and our friendship.”
“I know,” Sebastian said softly.
“So tell me you regret doing this, tell me you’re sorry you did something that will change our friendship irrevocably.”
Sebastian opened his mouth. Heshouldapologize for those things. He should guard the friendship that had saved his life over the brief affair that had left him open to all this. But he couldn’t.
