“Perhaps he’ll grow on me.”
“Very well, I’ll be sure to have a personal invitation given to the man before I begin to ready myself for the outing. We depart in an hour.”
Delacourt slapped Sebastian’s bicep before he grabbed a pastry from the sideboard and exited the breakfast room. Sebastian sighed and moved to the window where he looked out at the garden behind the house. He jolted as he watched Marianne appear from the direction of the terrace stairs and walk through the bushes and plants.
It was good he’d have time away from her on this outing. Surely it would cool any residual feelings their night together had falsely created. And with Lanford within his sightline, he would also insure that Marianne didn’t do anything foolish in her anger, either.
By the time of the ball that night, everything would be normal again. It had to be. There was no alternative.
CHAPTER 18
There had been many parties held at Garringford Corners over the years since her father’s death when it had only been Marianne and Finn. During those parties her brother and his cronies often spent a day away participating in what Finn teased were “manly pursuits”. In theory, she was invited to join in because Finn would never truly leave her out, but she’d more often than not welcomed the solitude, preparing for whatever events were next on the docket or reading and relaxing.
But today she had found herself watching the clock all afternoon. Listening for the footfalls of the gentleman. Of Sebastian in particular.
Now she sat in her chamber, fully dressed for supper and the ball which would follow, and she let her gaze move to the drawer in her dressing table where she had stashed Claudia’s list earlier.
She hadn’t yet looked at it since her night with Sebastian. Even with all the time alone, she almost hadn’twantedto look at it. To think about what she now had to cross off. Somehow doing so had a finality now that had never existed in the past.
Slowly, she pulled the list out and arranged her quill and ink on the dressing table before her. She scanned the paper, which now had so many items crossed off and careful notes in the margins.
She dipped her quill and slowly ran through the item in Claudia’s hand that readPlay Faro in a Hell. What her friend would have thought, seeing her there with a pile of winnings before her and later with an angry patron on the attack. Claudia had always been shy with strangers, almost painfully so. It was a triumph to be one of the few who saw her true bubbly personality and Marianne hoped Claudia would have cheered her on in her momentary victory.
“Thanks to all the games with you, dearest,” she whispered to the list and the woman who had written it.
Then she scanned lower and her breath caught. One of the last items on the long inventory wasHave a Love Affair.She stared at those words, written almost accusingly now that she was trying to determine if she should check them off.
A love affair implied some matter of time shared between two people. More than one encounter, something with more formality, even if everything was done in secret. Yet Sebastian made clear with his words and his deeds that last night was the one and only time they would share such a powerful act. So an affair? It didn’t feel like that was the right word.
She sighed and used her pen to edit the list.Take a Lover, she wrote to the side and then slowly crossed off the item before she waved the paper in the air to dry the ink. Taking a lover would have to do, since she had no intention of pursuing another man for something with so much more depth like an affair.
She got to her feet, checking herself in the mirror once more before she made her way to the foyer where she and Finn would greet their arriving guests for tonight’s festivities. She smiled at her reflection. Thanks to Hannah’s handiwork, no longer did Marianne see a matronly spinster when she looked at her reflection. She might be no great temptation to any man, but she was no longer ill-suited for her own clothing. That was a triumph of some kind, she supposed.
She stepped into the hall and made her way to the stairs where she met with Mr. Lanford coming from the guest wing of the house.
“Ah, Lady Marianne,” he said as he reached her. His gaze flitted over her and he smiled. “You do look a vision.”
Heat rose to her cheeks at that compliment that felt truly meant. Her mind couldn’t help but shift to Sebastian’s declaration that this man had an interest in her. She examined him a bit more closely as she thanked him. He wasn’t terrible to look at. Not anywhere near Sebastian, of course, but who was?
“Will you escort me down?” she asked.
“I’d be honored,” Lanford said, and offered his elbow to her.
She took it and felt…nothing. No spark of awareness, no tingle of attraction. That was disappointing. But perhaps something like that could grow if one tried hard enough? Wasn’t that possible? Hadn’t it been that way with Sebastian?
No. She had to be honest with herself if no one else. She hadalwaysbeen aware of Sebastian, even when she’d been too innocent to label what that connection meant. She’d always watched him and longed for him and wanted him toseeher. When he did? Oh, it was like fireworks on the Thames.
“I hope we’ll have a chance to dance together later, my lady,” Lanford said as he released her to her brother, who was already waiting in the foyer, doors thrown open to the guests who were starting to arrive on the crushed stone drive. “Unless…unless you prefer another partner.”
She blinked as she realized what he was truly asking. He wondered if she was interested in another man. And oh, how she was. But Sebastian was not a road that led to anywhere except pain. Passion, but pain. So she had to turn away, didn’t she? That’s what he kept telling her. Perhaps now was the best time to start.
“There is no partner in particular that I’m seeking,” she said. “And I’ll certainly save a spot on my dance card, Mr. Lanford. In fact, I-I look forward to it greatly.”
Something lit up on his face and he gave her a slight bow. “Then I’ll find you as soon as the ball begins. Good evening.”
He turned and went toward the parlor where the guests would gather before supper. She found Finn watching her closely as she took her spot next to him just as the first family from the shire entered the foyer. They greeted them and a few more early comers. It wasn’t for a quarter of an hour before they were alone and her brother faced her slightly.
“Are you well?” he asked gently.
