He stopped on the stairs to look at her. Had pale green always been her color? It was really lovely on her, with the sunshine coming down on her like a beacon. She almost looked like a wood sprite. Were those supposed to be wicked or good? He couldn’t recall.
“I’m pleased you came,” she said.
He shook off his unexpected thoughts and tried to behave as he normally would by forcing a smile. She didn’t return it, but ducked her gaze from his as she motioned him inside.
“I’m surprised to be greeted directly by you.”
She was already turning away to guide him down the hallway to a parlor. “Yes, Adams was equally taken aback when I demanded I meet you in his stead. But here we are. None of us are acting ourselves of late.”
He pressed his lips together and entered the room behind her. She stayed at the door as he passed and surprised him by pushing it shut.
He pivoted. “Marianne?—”
She held up a hand. “Don’t worry yourself, Sebastian, I have no intention of doing anything to violate the terms of our earlier agreement to distance ourselves. But I heard something from my brother today that I had to address with you in person.”
He shifted. “And what was that?”
“Finn says you shall not ride with us to Garringford Corners.”
He smiled slightly at the name of the siblings’ small estate just outside London and memories of all the happy times they’d spent there over the years. Marianne didn’t return the expression, but remained singularly focused on the topic at hand. “Is that true?”
“I’m surprised he would say something about that, it’s meaningless.” A lie, but he continued, “I intend to ride behind later in the day. I won’t arrive much after you two do.”
“Exactly why he mentioned it, I assume, as it goes against our habit of how we normally travel to this yearly gathering,” she said, folding her arms. The action lifted her breasts a little, a distraction he tried to ignore.
“I see,” he said softly. “And what is your fear?”
“You pretend you don’t know?” She moved forward but brought herself up short before she got too close. That was probably for the best because he wasn’t certain he could meter his response at the moment. “You’re acting out of character. Don’t you fear he’ll recognize that I’m the reason?”
“Does he noticeyouacting out of character?” he asked.
She caught her breath. “Of course he doesn’t. He thinks any change in my behavior has only to do with Claudia’s death. But I mean less to him than you do.”
He drew back at that statement. “That isn’t true. You must know that you mean the world to him.”
“I’m a difficulty he must bear. A disappointment, I’m sure,” she insisted, and for a moment all her pain was clear. Pain he wanted to ease with such a power that it was almost frightening. He pushed aside his baser desires and moved on her.
He caught both her hands and held them to his chest. “You couldneverbe a disappointment, Marianne. Not to him, not to—” He cut himself off and released her. He ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve known your brother for more than half my life and he has never spoken of you with anything but love and affection. He adores you.”
“And yet you don’t think he’d notice any change to me. Nor to you.”
“He has his own distractions,” Sebastian said with a slight shake of his head as he thought of Finn’s faraway expressions the past little while.
Now she straightened. “Finn? What do you mean? Is he well?”
“Yes,” Sebastian said. “He won’t speak to me about it in detail, but I can see it in his face. So I don’t think you have to worry about your brother suddenly noticing that we don’t want to stand near each other or that I might not travel with you because I worry that I’ll—” Once again he cut himself off. It wasn’t fair to say more when he had demanded they stop this madness between them. “Was that all you needed?”
She stared up at him and he couldn’t help but notice all the lovely lines of her face. Strange that he hadn’t ever been so taken in by them in years past and now all he could do was analyze every little twitch and movement of them.
“Yes.” She shifted. “Except…”
He smiled slightly. “Except?”
“Do you really not wish to stand near me?” she said. “Is that how far this has come?”
He sighed. “I’ll gladly stand beside you, Marianne. Like you, I don’t want what we shared to ruin our friendship. It means a great deal to me. I simply must be more careful until this…this desire fades.”
She nodded. “Well, you know best when it comes to desire. If you say it will fade, then I believe you.”
