He tried to make his the same.
Callum eased his horse up beside Roarke and cleared his throat. Roarke gave him a side glance. His friend had joined him riding outside twenty minutes before but hadn’t said anything much beyond casual conversation about the roads. This was clearly not going to be a conversation about that.
“You look sick,” Callum said gently. “It is troubling that you would ride yourself to pain rather than just talk to her.”
“I tried to talk to her yesterday,” Roarke said through clenched teeth. “What more could I say?”
“That you respect her. That you support her. That you love her. I think that’s all she needs to hear.” Callum shook his head. “You are at a crossroads, my friend. I hate to see you make the wrong decision and perhaps keep yourself from a happy future. Keep her from the same.”
“And what is the right decision?”
“Stand by her. You’ll certainly have the best chance of protecting her, if nothing else.”
Roarke didn’t respond for a moment, but let those words roll around in his head. Finally he glared at Callum. “Were you always so annoyingly correct, Blackvale?”
Callum laughed. “Since birth, I’m afraid.”
Roarke looked at the carriage again and sighed. “I’m certain you must want to ride with your future wife and Bernadette. I wonder if I could convince Flora to ride in private with me in her carriage. It’s empty, yes?”
“Yes, the servants are in the first carriage up ahead,” Callum said. “And I think that’s a wonderful idea.” He lifted a hand and motioned for their caravan to stop.
There was much jockeying as everyone got out and stretched their backs, drank cold tea from jugs and talked. Flora stood to the side, watching him and Roarke drew a long breath before he sidled up to her.
“Will you ride with me in your carriage for a while?” he asked. “I’m feeling the need for a break from riding and it will be too crowded if we’re all in Blackvale’s rig.”
She nodded. “Of course. Are you well?”
He smiled at her concern. She might be annoyed with him, uncertain, but she was still so kind. It was her nature to her core and he adored her even more for that. It was something to emulate.
“I am,” he assured her. “But I do…I do miss you. Even after just one night apart.”
“I missed you, too,” she whispered as she reached out to take his hand. She squeezed it gently before she said, “I’ll tell the others the plan if you want to meet me at the carriage.”
He watched her go, drank her in as she talked to her friends for a moment. She smiled and it was like someone had lit up the dreary day. What a thing that would be to have in one’s life forever. He hoped he might one day have that chance as he walked to her carriage, parked now behind Blackvale’s.
She returned to him and he helped her up. They took places across from each other, silent in the midst of the sounds of everyone else going back to their rigs and servants mounting horses and their party starting back on their way.
It was only when they had started moving that he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry.”
She blinked. “Oh.”
“I feel like that is all I ever say to you and I hate that it’s where we must begin.” He shook his head. “I-I couldn’t protect my mother my entire childhood. I loved my father, you know that. But he was unreliable. His mistakes and missteps made her life harder, and I wanted so desperately to make it easier.”
“You were a child,” she said softly.
“I know. And I wouldn’t expect any other child to do the same now.” He sighed. “But I still felt as though it was my duty to shield her. To the worst ends, as you know. I suppose, though, that it taught me to be protective of everyone I care about. That it is my duty to be so. And my resistance to your plans is because of that, not because I doubt their veracity or your capacity to handle yourself. You are brilliant and strong and resilient. I have no doubt you can win any fight you enter.”
Her lips parted. “I…no one has ever seen me that way.”
“I do,” he said. “You will fight with kindness, with compassion, with wisdom. And I…I would be honored to stand beside you as you do, if you still want me there. I trust your instincts, even if I cannot entirely school my terror at what might happen.”
Her expression had softened and she reached across the carriage for his hand. Their fingers threaded together and an enormous sense of peace flooded him. Like weights lifted from his shoulders. He was, as always, awed by that fact.
“If I could only have one champion at my side when I face them, it would be you,” she whispered. “Only you. Always you.”
She moved to his side of the rig then, settling in beside him and wrapping her arms around him. Her mouth was tilted up and he couldn’t resist. He took it, kissing her and feeling like it had been a lifetime since he’d done so, even though it was only a day.
She murmured against his lips, her fingers tightening around his back. She pulled back a fraction. “Before we arrange this meeting, though, I want to do one other thing.”
