Guilt. He felt awash in guilt. He’d come here meaning to confess his relationship to her stepchildren, to tell her about the threat to her and his role in that thread. But once she’d touched him, kissed him, asked him for more he had been swept away.
And when she’d told him what those moments meant to her, he hadn’t been able to crush them with the truth. Which was why he was so bent on running away. He didn’t want to take that joyful moment from her. He didn’t want to tell her that he had pursued her, at least at first, with an ulterior motive.
His horse was almost here now, he could see the footman drawing him around the corner. In a few moments he would be able to ride away, regroup, find some other mode of confession or protection for Flora.
Only before the animal had arrived, up the lane rode Callum. He stopped at the house just next to Flora’s where Valaria lived, and smiled over at Flora and Roarke.
“Good afternoon!” he called out as he handed over his own reins and came down to Flora’s door. “What a pleasure to see you two. Have you been calling, Roarke?”
Flora shifted, her hands clenched in front of her. “We were just talking,” she burst out.
Callum lifted both brows at the strenuousness of her tone. “Er, very good. Well, I was just about to join Valaria for a late tea. Why don’t you two come down and join us?”
Flora glanced over at Roarke, her gaze seeking his. “You…you needn’t if you have someplace else to be.”
Roarke heard the lilt of hope in her tone. And he saw Callum’s judgment of his response. Worse yet he felt the call to stay. To spend a little more time with her in a way that would further buffer what they’d just done together from what he would ultimately have to tell her about himself.
“I’d be pleased to join you,” he found himself saying. Meaning it, too. After all, if he didn’t have this wretched secret hanging over himself, if he had nothing to stop him, he would have been only pleased to spend more time with this woman and their friends.
And perhaps that was unfair of him to want to have that moment. But he intended to take it.
CHAPTER11
Valaria was just as welcoming to the pair as Callum had been, and soon they found themselves a cozy foursome, seated out on Valaria’s veranda in the rare warmth of the autumn day. The leaves were turning, fluttering reds and oranges on the light breeze.
Roarke glanced at Flora. He could still taste her on his lips. No amount of tea could erase that flavor of her passion. He didn’t want it to. He wanted to hold that moment close, not sully it with what would eventually come.
She was laughing now at something Valaria had said. The two women had their heads close together as they chatted and he was fascinated by how comfortable Flora was with her friends. There was none of the hesitance in this space, none of the belief that she could not earn welcome the way she feared she would not earn his desire.
“I think Callum and I will get a dog once we’re married,” Valaria was saying with a wink for the duke.
Callum smiled with indulgence and glanced at Roarke. “She thinks she can make me fall head over heels in love with a puppy. And she’s likely right. She knows she just has to crook her finger and I’ll fall right in line.”
Roarke couldn’t help but be moved at the warmth between his friend and the duchess. They seemed truly in love and it was nice to see Callum so happy. They had a future laid out before them once Valaria’s official mourning period was over, an easy joy that was right here and would only grow in the future. He was almost jealous of it, and tried not to look at Flora with those thoughts in his head.
“When I married Stuart, he had five dogs, all ancient things that puttered around the house like little old men,” Flora said with a laugh. “But it was all a ruse, meant to trick me.”
“The dogs were playing a trick on you?” Roarke asked, leaning forward. “How so?”
“One day I decided we all needed some exercise, an escape from…” She trailed off and shook her head. “I needed air. And I took these five old man dogs out with me for a short walk in the garden. Well, apparently this wasn’t done without a lead, which I didn’t know, because the moment we exited the confines of the pathways, they realized they were free and startedrunning.”
Roarke laughed. “I thought they were old putterers.”
“So did I!” Flora said, smiling as Callum and Valaria laughed, too. “Here I am, gathering up my skirts, racing after these five demons in disguise as dogs, screeching their names in rapid succession: Anton, Ruby, Fierce, Bottle, Dragon!” She glanced at Roarke. “Before you start, I didn’t name them.”
He chuckled again at her story. “I would never judge the serious name of a serious dog, Your Grace.”
“Well, we reached the top of the hill behind the estate, and I lost my footing and tumbled, just rolled down this hill, still shouting for the dogs all the way down.” She shook her head, eyes lit up with mirth. “Somehow I managed not to break or bruise anything beyond my pride. But my tumble caught their attention, and as I sit up, covered in grass and dirt, here come five now filthy dogs racing back and they just all crowd on top of me, licking and bouncing.”
“Oh no!” Valaria gasped, holding her sides from laughter. “Did you manage to get them back up to the house?”
“I suppose they took pity on me and followed me back up. I came into the foyer and Stuart was passing through and looked me up and down. I told him what happened and he said,Oh yes, no one trusts those dogs, Flora.Then he patted each of their heads and they waddled off after him, back to being old men.”
Flora had done an impression of his uncle’s voice and it made Roarke laugh even harder because it was remarkably spot on.
“Did you ever take them out in the garden without leads again?” he asked.
She nodded. “Of course! I saw how happy they were to be free, and I did it all the time after that.” She sighed. “They were excellent dogs, if a bit crafty.”
