He held his breath. It would be better for them both if she said no. But God did he want her to say yes. To have that tour of a beautiful place be the end to this strange connection between them rather than a night at her home where he had secretly gathered information about her.
“I would enjoy that, Mr. Desmond. Roarke.”
His knees nearly buckled under him and he smiled as his horse was brought to the drive. “Wonderful. Please let me know if you have any other engagements on Monday and I’ll send information over about the exhibit to best fit your schedule.”
She nodded and they stood there for an awkward moment. He should swing up on his horse and ride away. But he didn’t want to. What he wanted to do was step in closer, touch her face, drop his mouth to hers and learn if she tasted as good as she smelled.
Her gaze fluttered away from his, as if she had read his thoughts. Her cheeks brightened with color in the dim light from the house behind them.
“Good night,” he managed to croak out, and then did what he had to do. He rode away from her.
And was glad it wasn’t for the last time after all.
CHAPTER6
Flora knew she shouldn’t be so excited about an afternoon at the museum. After all, she’d been there many times, enjoyed many exhibits with her husband and friends. And wasn’t that all Roarke Desmond was? A friend. A new friend. But a friend, nonetheless. Anything else that her body felt when she was close to him was merely a biological response. She could ignore that.
But no matter how many times she repeated that to herself, let the wordfriendhang in her brain…always with a question mark after it…it didn’t ring true. So she had changed her gown five times, fixed and refixed her hair, fiddled with jewelry and pinched her cheeks and checked the clock until all she could hear was its loud, echoing, accusatory tick in her head.
What was she doing?
Yes, of course, her lady’s maid, Joy, would be with her. There was nothing untoward about going to a public exhibit with a gentleman. Of course people would whisper, but they whispered anyway. In the end, this excursion was harmless.
And yet it didn’t feel harmless. It felt thrilling and exciting and a little like a betrayal of the marriage vows she’d taken so long ago. Ones that certainly didn’t carry forward into her widowhood. But she could call Roarke her friend all day long and make excuses, but she knew she didn’t want him for a friend. She wanted to spend time with him and have him spear her with that incredibly intense stare that seemed to curl her toes in her slippers.
She heard a knock at the front door and staggered to a stop in her pacing of the front parlor. He was here. He was early. Did that mean he was as eager as she was to spend time together? And if so, what did that mean? Did she have to do something? Her marriage had been arranged, papers signed by men of power with little thought to her wants or needs.
If something did happen with Roarke Desmond, that would be at her own choice and pleasure. So how did one proceed with such a thing?
“Your Grace?”
She clasped her hands together and looked at Hendricks with as much serenity as she could muster under the circumstances of her racing mind and heart. “Yes?”
“The Duchess of Tunbridge is here to see you,” he said.
It was as if someone had deflated Flora. She felt her face fall and hated herself for it. Of course she was pleased to see Bernadette. She likely needed to see a friend, anactualfriend with no question mark after that label, in order to get her mind right.
“Of course. Send her to me.”
Hendricks inclined his head, and within less than a minute Bernadette entered the room, a bright smile on her face. One that fell the instant she saw Flora. “Oh goodness, what isthatexpression?” she asked.
Flora shook her head. “Nothing at all. I’m sorry to be a rude hostess, but I am going to be leaving soon. Mr. Desmond and I are to go to—”
Bernadette caught her breath. “Oh, heavens! The Pembroke exhibit. How could I have forgotten? I’m so sorry!”
“Nothing to be sorry about,” Flora said. She caught her breath to say more. To confess her tangled feelings to Bernadette, but they wouldn’t seem to come out. She didn’t know how to say what she felt. What she was experiencing. And she didn’t want to be seen differently for those feelings if she did find the words to speak them.
So instead she caught her breath. “You—you should come with us!” she burst out, and immediately hated herself for the suggestion. It made it all too clear that she didn’twantto share her time with Roarke. Which in turn made it more obvious she needed to do just that.
“Come with you?” Bernadette repeated blankly. “Why in the world would you suggest such a thing? Are you merely trying to put up walls between you and this man?”
Of course that was exactly why, but Flora folded her arms. “What a ridiculous notion. Mr. Desmond and I barely know each other. He means nothing to me.”
Bernadette pursed her lips. “I know you and Valaria think I’m a bit innocent. And perhaps I am. But I’m not a fool, you know. I can see that you did your hair just so. It looks lovely, by the way.”
Flora touched her hair without thinking and then frowned. “I only wanted to look nice for the exhibit.”
“And you’re wearing the gown that best shows off your figure. And your eyes are fearful, but if I sayRoarke…there, they dance just the tiniest bit.” She moved forward and caught Flora’s hands. “It isfinefor this to mean something, Flora. You’ve been a widow a long time and if you choose to move forward, that is your right. It’s also fine to have attraction that meansnothingdeeper than that you wish to spend time in the company of a handsome man.Allof it is fine and you shouldn’t wind yourself up in such knots trying to make it unimportant.”
