“You know I was a courtesan,” she began. “From the time I was eighteen until I was twenty-two. Andthatis when I met Hux.”
Richard’s brow wrinkled. “He was your protector?”
She shook her head slowly, gathering her emotions. Needing to because the past was flooding back and threatening to mob her. To stay grounded, she focused on Hux again. Hux’s face. Only Hux. Her rock.
“No,” she said when she could find her voice again. “He was a thief, just like he is now. He was doing what he does best when he stumbled upon me with my so-called protector at the time. The man was angry with me for something I didn’t want to do and he had dragged me into a private space where no one could see. He struck me. When I tried to leave, he…” She trailed off as the lump in her throat cut off her ability to form words for a moment. “He took what I no longer freely offered. And then Hux burst into the room.”
Richard’s brows both went up and his expression softened with not pity, but empathy. Understanding. Grief on her behalf. “Zara…I’m so sorry.”
She shrugged, but she knew her face revealed her pain. She’d never been able to school it when it came to this subject. How many times had she blamed herself for what had happened to her that night? How many times had she told Hux that if she had given consent once, perhaps she had no right to refuse it afterward.
And how many times had Hux dried her tears and gently reminded her that she was worthy of respect and care, whether she made her money on her back or any other way.
She gently tangled her fingers into Hux’s hair again. “He carried me out of the gathering where I’d been attacked. He was a stranger, but I was so frightened and injured that I couldn’t run. He felt…safe, and then he proved he was just that when took care of me that night, tending to my wounds. He did so the next and the next, never asking me for anything in return. Never demanding anything at all from me.”
Richard looked down at him. “A gentleman in the truest sense of the word.”
She smiled. “Never let him hear you call him that. He’d be offended.”
“I’ll keep it in mind.” Richard chuckled despite the topic.
She sighed and returned to her story. “Eventually he asked if I’d be his partner. Over the next few months he taught me how to pick a pocket and a lock. He taught me signals so he’d know which man to swindle. We came up with dozens of scenarios and games over the years.” She hesitated as she traced her fingertip across Hux’s lips. Those lips that had spoken gentle words, had kissed away her tears, had brought her such pleasure so that the pain became a more and more distant memory. “And he reminded me how to laugh again.”
“He became your lover.”
Zara continued to stare at Hux as her heart swelled with all the emotion this handsome fallen angel brought out in her. “No. Not for over six months.”
Richard’s brow wrinkled in surprise. “But you have such intense chemistry.”
“We do,” she agreed with a little smile. “And I knew he wanted me. Once some of the shock of what had happened wore off, I knew I wanted him, too. But I wasn’t ready.”
“I can imagine not,” Richard said.
She nodded. “He never pushed. He never asked for anything. After a few months, I confronted him about it, asked if he didn’t find me attractive enough. I thought he’d shake the house down with his laughter. He told me that he wanted me more than anyone he’d ever met.” She felt her cheeks heat with a blush. “But that I was the one who was in charge. That he would wait. He would agree to nothing more than our partnership if that’s what I wanted. But that when I was ready, if I wanted him, he was…he was mine.”
She struggled to say the last bit. She knew it was true, of course. Peregrine Huxley was hers. There was never any doubt of that. And yet they never spoke it. They never expressed the feelings that flowed between them as easily as the desire. He didn’t push for that either, and she wasn’t brave enough to be the one. Just in case.
“And one night you did,” Richard pressed.
“Yes,” she agreed. “One night I couldn’t take it anymore. I slipped into his bed, and from that moment on we were lovers. But you’ve seen how he is. He never takes, only gives. He never pushes, only surrenders. He could have me any way he liked, but he is always careful. Like I’m glass.”
“No,” Richard said softly. “Like you are fine china. Like you are precious jewels."
Heat flooded her cheeks at that flowery description. One she didn’t feel fit her. She shrugged. “One way or another, he is deeply protective.”
“He seemed to like it when I was more dominant with you,” Richard said. “After his initial worry was assuaged.”
“He likes it when I come,” she said.
Richard gave a half-smile and leaned in closer. “Ilike it when you come, Zara.”
He kissed her and her fingers bunched against Hux’s scalp as their tongues gently tangled. Then less gently. Richard cupped the back of her neck loosely, holding her against him with more of that dominance that she hadn’t realized she so deeply craved.
“Are you two starting without me?” Hux asked, raising his head with a sleepy smile. “That seems very unfair.”
Richard laughed and it broke their kiss. He shifted and tilted Hux’s chin up, kissing him with just as much passion as he had kissed Zara. The emotions that had been there faded a little. He let them go, she allowed for it, too. Whatever confessions she’d made, or he’d made earlier were tucked away to be forgotten for a while.
“If it is unfair, then I suggest you do something about it,” Richard said.
