“Yes.” She took his hand and drew him into the parlor.
He looked around. Peter was not there. “Is he upstairs?” he asked, not clarifying whohewas. There was only onehenow. “Will you get him? I need to say something to you both.”
Merritt shook her head and tears flashed to her eyes. “He…he is gone, Elliot. He’s not here.”
He stared at her, stunned by how his heart felt as torn by Peter’s absence as it had by finding him with Merritt earlier. “What?” he asked. “Gone? He left you?”
She tilted her head. “Not just me, Elliot. You know that in your heart. He leftus.”
CHAPTER13
Merritt
Elliot’s face was blank. He had always been an expert at that: wiping his emotions clear when they became too much for him. When they made him too vulnerable to others…even her. The past few days he’d done it less and she’d hoped…but now he was hard again. Putting up walls between them. Ones she might deserve.
“This is…this is my fault,” he said at last, and she heard what he concealed in the slight waver to his voice.
She shook her head. “No. It’s not.”
“It is,” he said, his tone sharper as he paced away from her to the window, staring out intently like he could somehow find Peter and draw him back. “I kept you from him. Not on purpose at first. But now…now I know you love him. And he loves you. If I stand in the way…”
She caught her breath and rushed to him, turning him back to her. She grabbed his hands and clutched them against her chest. “You are not in the way.”
His expression softened, filled with pain and certainty. “Of course I am, Merritt. And what I came back to tell you, to tell you both…is that I…” Every word seemed a struggle and he fought it valiantly. “I would let you go.”
She was struck silent by that simple sentence. It was like someone had plunged a sword into her heart, into her soul.
“You have given me my heirs and spares,” he whispered. “You have given me ten years, wonderful years. So if it would make you happy, I would let you go to him without a fight. With a fine enough settlement that neither of you would never want for anything.”
She nearly went to her knees but fought to stay upright. This selfless act was exactly what Peter had been talking about when he spoke of Elliot’s numerous acts of love. She saw how much this tore him apart. What he didn’t know was how it did the same to her. The idea of losing him? It made all her love for him so very sharp and clear. Because she couldn’t picture, not for one moment, a world where they were parted and she was also happy.
“You two men,” she said with a shake of her head. “Each so eager to let me go in some effort to give me happiness. And that isnotwhat I want, Elliot.”
He didn’t look certain. “Merritt,” he began.
She held up a hand. “When Peter was taken from me all those years ago, it did leave a hole in my heart that was never fully healed or filled.”
He flinched but didn’t turn away.
“I know that fact hurts you, Elliot, and I cannot express how sorry I am about it. But I also cannot lie.”
“I would never expect you to,” he whispered.
“But I need you to know something else,” she said as she stepped closer. As she cupped his cheeks and smoothed her fingers along the angles there. “I love my husband. Iloveyou, Elliot.”
* * *
Elliot
Elliot buckled at those words, the ones he had longed to hear for years but had never pressed for. Words that had burned in his dreams and his fantasies. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him close as unexpected tears welled in his eyes. Emotions he had always tried to suppress overflowed through him, alongside a relief unlike any he’d ever felt. She supported him as he struggled to breathe. To understand what she was saying and accept it. The acceptance was the hardest part.
He didn’t want this to be because of pity. Or obligation.
“You—you don’t have to say that,” he finally managed to choke out.
She tilted her head. “I say it because I mean it.”
She drew him to the settee and together they sat, her hands clenching his. Her gaze never wavering. And in it, he found the kernel of hope that he’d never dared reach for.
