He leaned farther over her, threading his fingers through hers as he held her down on the bed. His mouth claimed hers, punishing and hard and filled with all that passion he normally restrained.
And he took her. She’d heard the act described as that before, but had never experienced it in those terms. Hetookwith hard and heavy and never-ending thrusts. She gripped her legs around his hips to find some purchase, angling her mouth to suck his throat as he grew more wild and needy.
She felt him close to the edge. His neck strained, his legs shook, and then he pulled out of her and stroked himself once before he came, his come splashing across her stomach as he called out her name into the quiet like it could somehow bring him home.
He collapsed over her, his mouth finding hers as they scooted up the bed, their arms and legs tangling. She cuddled into his side, reveling in the warmth of him, in the strength of his arms around her. In these moments, both the pleasurable and the quiet, it felt like she could be…still. Safe.
Even though she wasn’t. She wasn’t safe. This thing between them was an illusion in the end. Something temporary, something that would never involve heart or feelings or anything more than this magical meeting of bodies.
She couldn’t ever let herself want for more. She’d learned the hard way what kind of pain that brought.
“Your thoughts are so loud,” Oscar said, his fingers threading through her hair, stroking against her scalp. “Was I so terrible at bringing you pleasure that you immediately go into analyzing your next move?”
She rolled partially over, her hip thrown over his, her arms against his chest and her chin resting there as she looked up into his face. Good Lord, but he was handsome. Even more so with his hair mussed from sex.
“It certainly isn’t that I wasn’t well pleased,” she said. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt something like that before. Ever wanted release with such a keen sharpness. And when you gave it? I was floating, utterly weightless.”
He arched a brow. “But?”
She sighed. “But the facts of my situation are still the facts, aren’t they? I’ve been almost…avoidingthinking of them the last few days. Because when I did, I had the physical sensation that I could start screaming and never stop.”
He frowned. “I’m sorry.”
“It isn’t your fault,” she whispered. “However, after that…after what we just did, it’s almost like the edge has come off the fear. I’m sure it’s not permanent. I’m fairly certain that orgasms cannot heal all things.”
“I’m willing to test the theory,” he teased.
She smiled. “I look forward to that.”
“I know what you mean, though. That physical jolt of pleasure…” He shook his head. “Sometimes it feels like it resets everything. If only for a moment. And if that means you can look at your experience without as much fear, then I’m glad of it. And what are your thoughts?”
She brought her attention away from his face for a moment, watching her fingers as she drew patterns across his chest. He was silent as she did so, not pressing her for answers, not demanding she give what she couldn’t yet. He just…waited for her.
She appreciated that more than she might have been able to say out loud. To do so felt more vulnerable than spreading herself wide for him had been.
“I am grateful what you’re doing for me,” she said softly. “Using your time and resources to look for some solution to my predicament. But it is my life, isn’t it? And since we have established that you and I can only be lovers, probably only for a short time, I can’t just hide in your house waiting for you to sweep in like some hero in a story and save the day. It isn’t fair to either of us.”
He wrinkled his brow. “What are you suggesting? You can’t do this alone, Imogen. You can’t go home. It isn’t safe.”
She felt the harsh edge of panic thrum through her veins and drew in a deep breath to ease it. When she could find her words again, she said, “But I can help you, can’t I? I must have a part in what you’re doing, Oscar. I can’t just wait and trust and hope.”
She waited for him to dismiss that thought out of hand. That’s what Warren would have done. Had done many times, when she dared to ask for a greater role in her own life. In his.
But Oscar seemed to be truly pondering the suggestion. She could see he was troubled. Of course he would be. The danger he spoke of was real. She’d seen its ultimate consequence.
At last he let out a long, low breath. “What you want is a fair request,” he said slowly. “And having your input will likely make navigating this situation easier. I was…” He broke off and his lips pursed. “I have an appointment with a contact tomorrow. I’d like you to come with me. Would that help fulfill your desire to be a part of your own situation?”
She nodded. “Yes. I’d like that.”
His hand had been resting against her back as they talked, and now he began to swirl his fingers against her skin in slow circles. She hissed in a breath at the gentle reawakening of her body.
“And now may I fulfill a few more of your desires?” he whispered.
She leaned up his frame, drawing her lips close to his without kissing him. “What did you have in mind?”
He didn’t answer with words, but by cupping the back of her head and drawing her in for a kiss. She lost herself in him, forgetting her troubles once more. They would be there tomorrow. Tonight she just wanted pleasure.
Chapter 11
