She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. He looked uncomfortable. “I thought that included a moratorium only on our shared past. But if you don’t wish to discuss the subject with me, it’s none of my business.”
They were silent for a moment, walking together. Then he sighed. “The battle was at its height and the mortar shells started falling.”
She cocked her head. “Shells?”
“A big…blast from a cannon,” he explained. “My men had been holed up near our munitions, and I went against orders and forced them to move. Just after I did, a shell hit the powder kegs. There was a massive explosion.”
“They would have been killed if you hadn’t disobeyed orders,” she gasped, and tears filled her eyes.
“Some of them were,” he said, and his tone was so faraway. Like he was back there, in that horrible place that had nearly snatched him from her world. “And others were injured. I was blown off my feet by the blast. Metal in my leg, burned.”
She covered her mouth with one hand and came to a stop on the path. “Oh, Nicholas.”
He shook his head. “Please don’t pity me.”
She stepped toward him and caught his hand, lifting it to her heart. “Pity you? Who could pity you? You acted with forethought and bravery, and saved the lives of those you served with. I only picture the pain you must have endured and I hate it. I hate that you had to suffer. That you still do.”
He stared down at her, those dark brown eyes locked with hers. Suddenly she was very aware of how close they were. How warm he was. How strong his arm was beneath her clenching fingers. The last time she’d been so close to him, they’d been young and, she’d thought, in love. He’d kissed her.
Right now she would have done anything if he’d do that again. She thought he might. His gaze slipped to her lips, he leaned in just a fraction. She tilted her head back out of instinct, offering her mouth without thinking about it.
But then he stepped away. “It wasn’t the first time I suffered, my lady,” he said, his form of address putting up an invisible but no less insurmountable barrier. “I’m sure it won’t be the last.”
She blinked as he turned his face away from hers, looking back toward the house. “Nicholas,” she began.
He ignored her. “I think it might be best if I went back. Too far a walk is hard on the injury and I have something to discuss with Huntington at any rate. But I’m glad you got to meet Fortescue. Enjoy the rest of your walk.”
She opened her mouth, seeking some way to bring him back to her side. But it was evident he wanted to be away from her. So she stepped back and nodded. “I’ll see you at supper, I suppose. Good day.”
“Good day,” he said, and turned, snapping his fingers toward Fortescue in some silent command. The dog gave Aurora one last look and then the two walked back up toward the house.
She sighed as she watched them go before she forced herself to put her attention back on her own destination. If Nicholas had briefly wanted the same thing she did, it seemed he was more able to control that desire. But then, he’d always been more capable of walking away. She’d do well to remember that before she lost her faculties and her heart.
From experience she knew she would have a hard time getting them back once she did.
Nicholas pointed Fortescue toward the stairs with the order, “Bed!” The dog gave him a look, the same one he’d been giving since he made the animal walk away from Aurora, but he plodded up the staircase. It was a fifty-fifty chance Fortescue would take to Nicolas’s bed rather than his own, but Nicholas didn’t have the energy to argue with the eight-stone goliath.
Right now he had something else to do. He made his way through the hallways. Robert’s butler, Jenner, had told him that Derrick was in the green parlor, and Nicholas found himself at its entrance. He stepped inside and came to a halt. His friend was not alone. Selina was with him, perched on his knee on the settee, whispering close to his ear. His usually serious friend chuckled low and then leaned up to kiss her.
Nicholas turned his face, and not just because he didn’t want to see his sister seduced by her husband. It also made him think about that moment on the estate with Aurora. She’d been standing so close to him, her fingers wrapped around his arm, her face upturned and her gaze foggy with…desire. And despite all he knew, despite all he’d endured because of her…he’d wanted to take that sweet mouth. And then take more.
How he’d found the strength to walk away was not something he entirely understood. But now his mouth tingled with the mere memory.
“Bloody hell,” he muttered.
Selina and Derrick started at those words, and both stood up and faced the door. Derrick, at least, had the decency to look a bit chagrined at being caught in such a public display. Selina just smiled at him, as if there was nothing abnormal about such behavior in a public parlor.
“Nicholas,” she said.
“Forgive the intrusion,” Nicholas said, ducking his head. “I can leave you.”
“Nonsense,” Selina said with a wink for Derrick. Then she moved around the settee to look more closely at him. Her playful expression fell. “Are you well? You look troubled.”
Nicolas looked past her to Derrick. His old friend was also watching him through a hawkish gaze. He stifled a sigh. Why in the world must he always be surrounded by intelligent people who could see through any mask he wore? This was why he kept himself alone so often.
“I’m fine,” he lied, and forced a smile for her. “But I did hope I could have a moment with your husband. I have something I need to discuss with him.”
Selina wrinkled her brow and glanced back at Derrick. Nicholas could see she was troubled by being left out. There was a bit of fight in her eyes, like she would deny him.
