Chapter 19
Lizzie sat on the cushioned window seat in her bedroom, staring out at the moonlit garden below. Once upon a time the garden comforted her. But now it only reminded her of what she might lose. Morgan would go to the dueling field tomorrow.
And every time she thought of it, she collapsed in on herself again. She rested her head on her knees and let the tears fall for what felt like the hundredth time that horrible day.
There was a light knock at her door, and she shook her head against her legs before she called out, “Yes?”
The door opened and Amelia stepped inside. Her sister-in-law’s face was lined with concern as she moved toward Lizzie. “I know you told us earlier that you didn’t wish to discuss what happened today, but Lizzie, I cannot leave it be any longer. We must talk.”
Lizzie had known Amelia would come. And perhaps it was best to have it over now. “I suppose you want to speak to me about my running out of the room when you and Hugh told everyone about the baby.”
Amelia wrinkled her brow as she sank onto the window seat beside Lizzie. “Yes, I assume we’ll do that at some point. I know you’re happy for us. But it is also a trying subject. There will be mixed emotions for you. I never expected otherwise.”
Lizzie leaned back in surprise. “You didn’t?”
“Gracious, you are not emotionless, I know that.” Amelia caught her hand and squeezed gently. “You don’t owe me perfect, absolute joy, my dearest sister. Never, ever. Butthatisn’t why I want to talk to you.”
Lizzie sighed. “No?”
“Are you in love with Morgan Banfield?” Amelia whispered.
Lizzie jolted at the pointed question. She’d expected a great many things, but not that. And perhaps it was because she was taken so off guard that she found herself nodding.
“I am,” she said. “I’m in love with him.”
She tensed as she waited for Amelia to scold her or tell her what a terrible idea it all was or to argue with her. But she didn’t. She just reached out and caught Lizzie’s hand, drawing it into her lap as she patted the top gently. “I always hoped you would let yourself love again,” she whispered. “After what you went through with Aaron—”
“What we both went through,” Lizzie corrected softly.
“Yes,” Amelia said. “Both of us. But I found my happy ending. The happiest. And you deserve the same. You deserve to love someone…and to have them love you in return.”
“Well,” Lizzie said, and withdrew her hand slowly. “That may not be possible, I fear.”
“You don’t think he loves you?” Amelia asked, and seemed genuinely surprised. “I admit I’ve watched you two together since his arrival. He isn’t immune to you, that much is very clear. He cares for you, I believe that with all my heart.”
“And yet seems determined that there can be nothing between us,” Lizzie said as she got to her feet. “And so I’m left with…this. This limbo. And he’s going to duel tomorrow. He might die, regardless of his perhaps foolhardy belief that this former friend of him won’t fire a gun on him.”
Amelia worried her lip. “I’m sorry.”
“I am too.” She glanced at Amelia from the corner of her eye. “I am going to the duel.”
“What?” Amelia drew back. “Lizzie—”
“I adore you,” Lizzie whispered. “But it’s not a question.”
Amelia was silent for a moment, but then she smiled softly. “Katherine wants to go too. She’s worried sick about Robert and what this will mean for him. That settles it, I suppose. We’ll all go. There’s a hill above the agreed upon dueling ground. The men don’t need to know our plans. We’ll ride there after they leave. At least then we’ll know what has happened. We won’t have to sit and wait for the news.”
“Yes.” A shudder wracked Lizzie from head to toe. “At least we’ll know.”
Amelia got up and crossed to Lizzie. She hugged her gently, and before she pulled away, she whispered, “Don’t leave something unsaid, my dear. You’ll regret it.” She drew back and squeezed her hand. “I’ll see you at dawn.”
“Dawn,” Lizzie agreed, and waved as her sister-in-law left her chamber.
Amelia’s parting advice rang in the room around her. There were so few times in life that one knew the next time one saw the person they loved that it could truly be the last. And yet it was always true. Tomorrow Morgan could be wrong—he could be shot and that would be the end. What she felt would always hang in the air around her.
She couldn’t let it. She hurried to the door to her chamber and was about to rush into the hall, when there was a second knock. She tensed as she flung it open, ready to find Amelia returned to offer more advice, but to her shock it was Morgan standing there, staring at her.
“Morgan,” she breathed, and sucked in a great gulp of air to say the rest, all of it, but he didn’t let her.
