“Good day, Morgan,” Brighthollow said softly.
“Good day.” He stepped into the hallway and drew in a sharp breath. He knew what he planned to do was right. And he hoped he was also right about his former friend’s intention if they faced each other honorably.
But if he was wrong, he would die. An outcome he was not ready for.
Chapter 18
It had been two days since Lizzie had made love to Morgan. Two long days where he seemed to be…avoiding her. She tried to tell herself it was because he was resting. That was true. Hugh had certainly given him time to recover from the attack and didn’t seem to be preparing to sack Morgan. So that was at least something.
But she couldn’t dismiss all his avoidance as due to his injuries, because she knew he was working. She saw him, certainly, in the halls where he simply nodded in acknowledgment as he went back and forth to her brother’s study, papers in hand. And when he joined the party for supper, he sat on the far end of the table and only spoke to her when propriety dictated it.
Because of all that, she had not dared to go to his room again. Not when he seemed to be so willing to end their affiliation. It had been a one-night experience, it seemed. And she was trying to accept that, even though she wanted so much to slip into his bed and experience that wonderful pleasure all over again. She dreamed of it, waking to find her hands clenched between her legs, rocking against her fingers to find some shadow version of the pleasure he always gave.
She often found it, but it wasn’t enough.
She frowned, pushing away those thoughts as she entered the breakfast room. The rest of the party was already there, talking and laughing as they broke bread. Among them was Morgan.
Heat filled her cheeks as she slipped in and took a place at the table. She managed to say good morning to all those around her, but her gaze kept flitting to him. He was watching her too, over the rim of his coffee cup. She smiled, a wavering expression, she knew. And he hesitated a moment before he returned the smile and gave her just the tiniest peace by doing so.
The talk of the group continued, though Lizzie focused mostly on her food. And eventually, as they all finished their breakfasts, Katherine leaned away from the table and slid her hand into Robert’s. “I cannot believe we will all return to London in just a few days,” she said. “The time here has flown by.”
Ewan signed and Charlotte translated, “It has, as time amongst friends always seems to do. This has been an especially lively little gathering.”
The table laughed in unison. Even Lizzie managed a smile at the quip.
“It has been that,” Hugh said, and then cast a glance at Amelia. “Perhaps the time has come to tell them.”
Amelia blushed and nodded, her smile shy as she edged a little closer to Hugh. Lizzie sat up a bit straighter. “Tell us what?” she asked.
Hugh beamed as he said, “We’ve been trying to find the right time and place to say this for days. Amelia is expecting.”
Lizzie’s mouth fell open as she stared at her brother and sister-in-law. They were both smiling as the rest of the table burst into joyful congratulations. Everyone rose to hug the happy couple, and Lizzie managed to get to her feet, as well, though her legs were shaking.
She glanced down the table and found Morgan watching not the others, but her. And he didn’t look surprised by this news. Her ears were ringing as she looked again at Hugh and Amelia.
There were so many emotions hitting her, she could scarcely parse them out. She was happy for them, of course she was. They had been married for three years and she knew they’d wanted a family for a long time. She was pleased and excited to welcome a new baby into their family.
But there were other feelings too. Ones that hit her with so much force they nearly knocked her backward. There was fear. Fear for her own future. Fear because the circle would become Hugh and Amelia and their baby and their future babies. Lizzie would have to start to edge outside of the embrace of their family. It was simply mathematics.
And there was something else too. Something she hated herself for. Jealousy. She stared at her brother, who had raised her and taken care of her and been nothing but kind to her…and she was jealous. Jealous of the life he’d claimed for himself out of suffering. Jealous of the future that glowed out before him while hers felt so…dark.
“Lizzie?” Amelia said. “You are staring at us like you’ve seen a ghost. Have we shocked you?”
Lizzie could hear the nervousness in Amelia’s tone and she pushed aside all her tangled thoughts and forced a smile to her face. “I am surprised, but delighted,” she said as she stepped around the table and hugged Amelia and then Hugh. “When will the baby come?”
“A little while longer,” Amelia said. “In December. There will be no hiding that I am increasing soon enough. But there will be plenty of time to plan. I hope you’ll help me with the nursery, here and in London.”
“Of course,” Lizzie said, but her own voice felt far away. So far away, and like she was underwater.
Luckily Katherine and Charlotte rushed forward, and Amelia and Hugh were distracted by cooing duchesses and suggestions for names, as well as potential future matches amongst the children of their friends. Lizzie was able to step back, toward the chamber door. Away from her family.
She found herself continuing to edge away. Farther and farther. Because she needed a moment. She needed an escape from the powerful feelings she didn’t want to feel. She certainly didn’t want to show them like a spoiled ninny.
So she turned and slipped from the room as the rest were distracted, racing through the hallway to find a parlor where she could just…breathe. She was three steps away when she heard the footfalls behind her. She knew who it was without looking.
“Please, just let me be,” she said softly as she stepped into the parlor.
“Elizabeth,” Morgan’s voice came, gentle but insistent. She moved to shut the door on him, but he caught it.
