He smiled down at her and she braced herself for what would come next. The claiming, one she didn’t fear now that she was humming with release. But he didn’t remove a stitch of clothing. He didn’t move to take her.
She blinked up at him as he continued to smooth tangled locks away from her face.
“When will you…when will you…” She trailed off as he flinched and shook his head. In that moment, she felt him pull away, and her heart sank as he got to his feet and backed up from the bed. He continued to look down at her, his expression one of longing and regret. Perhaps a bit of pity.
The pity was what broke her.
Her hands shook as she gathered a handful of silky sheet and tucked it around herself, covering her body so that she was no longer as physically exposed as she was emotionally. She drew a few breaths, trying to remain calm, trying to remain cool.
But her voice was shaking as she asked, “You aren’t going to take me, are you?”
Ellis heard the rejection in Juliana’s voice as she asked the question. Heard the pain and embarrassment. He looked down at her, temptation embodied lying on those silken sheets, her blonde hair tangled around her shoulders, her body ready for more, her cheeks pink from pleasure, darkening the scar that marred her flesh.
And she thought he didn’t want her. He had never wanted any woman more in his life.
“I won’truinyou,” he corrected, hoping that the distinction helped her. It didn’t help him, because he wanted nothing more than to strip out of his trousers and delve deeply within her, to forget everything but the pulse of her around his cock for a while.
But that was a pleasure he hadn’t earned and never would. Not after the filth of his life.
She gritted her teeth, and there was no denying her frustration as she glared at him. It lined her once-relaxed face and brightened her green eyes. “I already told you, Ellis, I want itall.”
He shook his head. Christ, she would kill him at this rate, because she had no idea what those words did to him. He was trying not to be an utter bastard, and that was difficult enough. It went against everything he’d been doing these past few years, both for survival and pleasure. He was fighting his nature with all his might, then she whispered about need and desire and stared at him when he still had her taste on his lips?
He let out a long sigh and perched on the edge of the bed. He brushed a lock of hair from her face, reveling in the softness of her skin against his rough fingers. “No,” he said. “You don’t, angel.”
“Ellis—” she began, her determination written in the wrinkle in her forehead, in the strength in her tone as she readied herself to launch into an argument.
One she might win if he let her.
“You feel lost right now,” he interrupted, and watched all the color exit her cheeks. “And I understand that…more than most. But you don’t want to make any rash decisions.”
She’d been clutching the sheet around her breasts, but now she folded her arms across them instead. The sheet slipped a fraction, revealing the hint of curves he’d already worshipped. How he wanted to touch them all over again. He’d never stop if he did. He would do exactly what she thought she wanted and they would both regret it. But the moment of surrender?
Fuck, but that would be sweet.
“Says the king of rash decisions,” she grumbled.
He couldn’t help the smile that curved the corner of his lips. She was a spitfire. Accustomed to managing every outcome, used to knowing what was best for everyone, even if they didn’t. She marched through life with certainty and he was so drawn to that, it was scary. Not only was this remarkable woman out of his sphere, but he was about to sacrifice himself. There was no going back once he did that, one way or another. He couldn’t give in. He had the memories of what they’d shared, and that had to be the end of it. For both their sakes.
“You don’t want to be like me,” he said.
“No, I want to bewithyou,” she insisted.
He groaned as he got to his feet. “I’m trying to be a better man, Juliana. Help me out.”
“If I wanted a better man, as you put it, I wouldn’t have come here,” she huffed.
Ellis had been practiced in controlling his reactions over the years. He never allowed anyone to see his true feelings unless that was what he wanted. Unless those feelings drew him closer to a goal.
But right now it was an effort not to flinch at that barb, thrown in anger. Still he managed it and turned back to her with a practiced smile.
“Then you got what you came for,” he said. “In more ways than one. I would suggest you be happy with it and let go of this notion of endangering yourself for pleasure.”
Her bottom lip trembled slightly, and she bit it to stop the motion. He fought a groan because damned if he didn’t want to bite that pretty little lip himself. Instead, he reached down to grab her wrinkled dress from its forgotten pile on the floor. He held it out to her. “Get dressed, Juliana. I’ll take you home.”
She slithered down off the bed, struggling to keep the sheet around her as if he hadn’t just worshipped every inch of that amazing body, and snatched the gown from his hand.
“Fine,” she ground out. Suddenly she sounded like the haughtiest of ladies of the manor, upset at the lack of performance of a servant. Not the worst comparison, actually. “If you insist on being difficult about this, Irefuseto argue. Please turn around.”
