It was a weak rebuttal, and she shook her head. “It’s more than that. Everett, I’m no innocent, I haven’t been for years. And I know full well that sometimes love and passion do not follow the path that Society thinks they should. The heart wants what it wants—as the past five days have proven over and over again.”
He let out his breath slowly, and she saw the cracks enter his armor. Saw it all crash down as he returned back to bed and lay down beside her. “Marcus and I met when I entered the army.”
She drew back. “A future marquess?”
“I wasn’t meant to be a marquess,” he said. “My brother was to inherit, and I wanted to make my own way through becoming an officer. Marcus was from almost nothing—it was very difficult for him to rise up in the ranks. And yet he did, entirely on his own merit.”
She heard the pride in Everett’s tone. The love. And she understood everything a little more even before he continued.
“I’d always…known that I was attracted to both men and women. But I knew few others like myself. The moment I saw Marcus, saw the way he looked at me, I recognized a kindred spirit. And you’ve seen him, you’ve touched him. He’s magnificent.”
She nodded. “He is that. You are, as well.”
He smiled. “Well, he had worked hard to get where he was. And he feared the consequences of following what his body wanted, perhaps what his heart desired. And then we were ordered to clear off an island to the west. Small, the perfect place for bad deeds. We were in a tiny boat when a squall hit. We capsized and had to swim for the island.”
She gasped. “How far?”
“Far enough that I couldn’t make it. Marcus dragged me ashore, put me in a cave, made me a fire, and saved my life.” He hesitated a moment and gathered himself. “We were on that island for three nights before we were found. The second night we…gave in to our passions.”
Her lips parted. “You made love.”
“Yes,” he said. “And it was wonderful. Becausehe’swonderful. We talked about our feelings, our draw to both men and women. How difficult it was to be different and to have to hide your heart. We truly connected.”
“You are in love with him,” she said, and felt no jealousy. This was a connection outside of the bond she shared with both men.
Everett met her stare. “Yes,” he said, simply. “And I think we might have worked it out. Many men like us live separate lives, find ways to come to terms of some kind with their lovers. But then my brother died. I inherited and had to leave the army. Marcus changed then. He knew that if our secret came out, it would hurt me far more as a lord than as a mere gentleman. He also knew that I would be expected to marry and produce heirs and that my wife would likely be in the dark about my secret passions.”
She shook her head. “He pulled away, just as he did today.”
“Yes.” Everett’s voice cracked with emotion. “I kept him near me by investigating with him and being his friend. By occasionally sharing a woman so I could be close to him. And every so often, when he’s in his cups, he even kisses me or touches me. But then he pulls away and talks about duty, and here we are.”
“Have you ever loved a woman?” she asked. “Or was it always just a way to be close to him?”
She wondered if that were true even now. That hurt more than knowing he cared for Marcus or wanted him. She didn’t want to be used, not when she was beginning to care so deeply for both men.
“I have loved women,” he said. “I am not only attracted to men, as I said. The first time I saw you, I was wildly attracted. Knowing that he was, as well, realizing swiftly that you might be the kind of woman we could share, that was icing on a lovely cake, I assure you.”
“I’m glad you told me.”
He smiled. “To be honest, I’m rather surprised by your calm reaction. The last time we shared a lady for longer than a night in a hell, she…did not respond well when she discovered we wanted each other as much as we wanted her.”
She drew back. “Well, I suppose many women don’t even realize such things exist. But I’m not like them.”
“No, you are not,” he said softly. “In a perfect world, I could…love you both. Be with you both.”
Her lips parted. “Are you telling me you love me?” she whispered. No one had said those words to her in so very long. Certainly none of her husbands had said that.
And it was the sweetest thing she’d ever heard.
He nodded. “I am. I’ve never been the kind to think of love as a thunderbolt. Even with Marcus, it took months of dancing around the subject to get us to the point where I knew. But I swear to you, Naomi, I have fallen in love with you. What’s worse is that I’m fairly certain Marcus has, as well. Andthatwill frighten him off even more.”
She bit her lips as all this sank in. Love. An impossible, incredible, utterly improper love with not one amazing man, but two. What a risk it would be to accept it. What a wonderful payout if the past five days had been any indication.
“Everett, I’ve lost enough in my life to know that love is something you hold on to. I’ve also begun to realize how precious you both are to me. I just never thought there could be a future. But…I do want that future, however we could make it work.”
His eyes lit up. “You do?”
“Under one condition,” she added.
