“Yes,” he said. “The night of Alistair’s first ball as earl, he called me to his study and he and Keaton crowed that my allowance had been given as a boon at the earl’s pleasure. Unlike my mother’s inheritance, which they could not touch, mine could be taken away by whoever held the title. They stripped me of everything.”
“And lo and behold, the next day my aunt told you that this Season I had agreed to say yes to anything I was asked.”
His mouth dropped open. “Yes. Did you know all along?”
She shook her head. “No. My aunt let that fact slip earlier today. I was upset and worried you might have an ulterior motive in your use of that information. I came here so you could tell me that you didn’t. Instead, I found so much worse.”
He leaned in closer, and she shivered as his body heat swirled around her. She did not want to want him. And yet she still did, because he was Rowan and she loved him. Foolishly, perhaps.
But she still did. Being near him made this so much harder.
“I’m so sorry, Sophie,” he whispered, his voice rough and raw with emotion that she wished was real. “If I had known you were coming, I would not have gone out. I would have met with you and, I hope, assuaged your fears.”
“But would you have told me you pursued me for money?” she snapped, glaring at him.
He shut his eyes. “I don’t know. Yes, your aunt told me about your agreement. That the reason you were suddenly involving yourself in Society after so many years of saying no to everything and everyone was that you had promised her this Season of Yes. I was reeling from being cut off and entirely uncertain. I admit that…that in the beginning, your purse was as attractive to me as you were. That I thought perhaps I could benefit from what I knew.”
She bent her head and released her breath on a sob she wished she could hold back. She didn’t want to show him her pain or her weakness. But she couldn’t hold it in.
She refused to look at him as she lifted a fist to her lips and tried to control her tears. “You were just like the others. The others who didn’t want me for who I was. Men like my father who would marry for their own gain and never give a damn about their wife.”
He flinched at the comparison. “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry, but you intended to be just like him. Cruelly and purposefully.”
She moved to rise, but he caught her hand and held her in place. “No!” he cried, his frustration clear. “That is not what I did. I started out with the idea that I could solve my financial problems through you. Yes, I did, I admit it, and I hate myself for it. But Sophie, that is not how it ended.”
She tugged on her hand, but he did not let her go. In fact, he pulled her closer so she stumbled into his lap. His arms came around her, drawing her to his chest, and she felt his heart throbbing.
“I fell in love with you,” he said, tilting her head gently so she was forced to look into his eyes as he said those words. “Do you understand? I love you, Sophie. For you. For everything you are and everything you make me want to be. I love you for your beauty and your wit. For your charm and your humor. For the way you look at me and see me and accept me for who I am. For the way you defend me, as you did today when my brothers attacked, even though I know you hate me right now. I love you for so many more things, but none of them is your inheritance.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, those beautiful words piercing the wall she was trying so desperately to erect. But he said what she’d wanted to hear since they made love.
He said it, and God forgive her, she wanted to believe him. And yet…
“Anyone who was desperate to keep what I could provide would say the same,” she said, pushing from his lap and pacing away from the touch that confused everything.
He stared up at her, his expression helpless and pained. And then it changed. And he nodded. “Very well, you want proof. I will provide a way to show you I’m true. Don’t give me the money.”
She blinked. “What?”
“Your inheritance is run by your aunt, yes? She may choose to take it if she wished.”
“I…suppose,” Sophie said cautiously. “She would never deny me, though.”
“She wouldn’t. She would change the terms of the dowry. The money would go to you. In your name alone, with specific instructions that I could not touch it. You would control it and I will ask for nothing.”
She shook her head. “So you would expect me to provide for our roof and everything else. I might control it, but you would benefit.”
“No,” he said, rising. “I would be your husband. My duty is to provide. And I would. I will sell my art, under my real name, my brothers be damned. If it is not enough to give you a life, a future, I’ll…I suppose I would find a way to do so. I have friends who are in industry. I could be a man of affairs or assist. Hell, I would work the docks if it meant I came home to you. If I could clear your mind of all your fears that I’m not true.”
She stared at him, shocked by the ease with which he turned away her fortune. For a man such as him, a man who had been raised in privilege, the idea of pursuing a vocation was an anathema. There would be some in his circles who would cut him off if he did so. The same if he revealed his talent in art. Men of his ilk were meant to be idle.
But he was saying that for her, he would not be.
“You would truly do this,” she whispered.
He nodded immediately. “I told you, Sophie. I love you. Iloveyou. I would do anything in this world not to lose you.”
