Not when there was so much more than a door to separate her from her husband who now claimed he loved her.
Jane tightened the tie of her robe around her waist and sat down at her dressing table with a sigh. It was a bright and happy morning outside her window. The leaves were turning red and coppery orange and a slight breeze blew in from the sea. On any normal day, she would have thrilled at the idea of taking one of her long walks through the estate, calling on tenants and enjoying this place she had come to love.
Today, she couldn’t. Today she could only look down at Colin’s letter, still reading his words as if they would somehow rearrange themselves and give her the answer of what to do next.
There was a knock at her door and she jumped as she faced it. She hadn’t heard Colin moving around this morning. Even if he were up, he would likely come to the door that connected their rooms, but her heart still raced as she slipped up and opened it.
Laura stood on the other side. The maid’s eyes were wide and she blushed. “Good morning, my lady.”
Jane forced a smile and stepped aside to allow her servant entry. “Good morning. I trust you slept well after our arrival?”
Laura gave her a side glance and cleared her throat. “I-I did.”
“Well, we ought to start our day, yes?” Jane asked, turning away to move to her wardrobe and pick a gown like this was a normal day in her normal life.
“Er, of course, but I must tell you that Lord Wharton has asked that I deliver you a message before we do anything else.”
Jane caught her breath and pivoted to face her maid. Laura had come with her from London after her marriage. The young woman had probably seen more of her heartbreak than anyone. Now she held out another letter, folded just as the first one Colin had given her was.
“I see,” Jane whispered, and stepped forward to take it, feeling the weight of it in her palm. She wasn’t certain she was ready to read what Colin had written next, so she clung to it instead. “He called you to him?” she asked.
Laura nodded. “He did, to his chamber next door early this morning. I thought perhaps he was going to sack me, but he was actually very kind. He asked after our travels.”
Jane shut her eyes. “Did he?”
“Yes. And after I told him how uneventful it was, he asked me to deliver this letter to you when you were readying yourself.”
Jane’s lip trembled and she pressed them together to stop it. “Was there anything else you observed while you were with him?”
Laura shifted. “I saw a stack of other letters on his desk, and paper and a quill.”
Jane caught her breath, and the maid looked uncomfortable.
“There is more, I suppose?” Jane asked, trying to set aside her curiosity at the idea of Colin being surrounded by letters that were apparently to her. “Did you hear something below stairs? I’m sure the servants must be going wild with this strange turn of events.”
Laura worried her lip. “I wouldn’t want to repeat gossip…”
Jane arched a brow. “We’ve known each other a long time, Laura. Repeat away. I need to know.”
“Well, the servantsareconfused, I admit. After all, Lord Wharton does not come here often and never since your marriage. Carson, the third footman, said…” She trailed off. “Perhaps I ought not.”
Jane let out the breath she had been holding. “I already told you, I want to know. What did Carson say?”
Laura leaned forward, her voice a whisper. “He told me that Lord Wharton arrived here completely unexpectedly. He gave Chadwick a list of a dozen preparations to make and then locked himself in his chamber next door.”
Jane wrinkled her brow. “What has he been doing in his chamber?”
“Writing. All he does is write,” Laura said, clearly taken in by the tale she was telling. Clearly oblivious to how much it affected her mistress. “Carson said he eats at his desk in his chamber and he only calls for servants when he needs more paper or supplies like a quill or ink.”
Jane shut her eyes. Colin had been writing since his return and there were thirteen letters she had sent the man in their time apart. Surely he couldn’t be writing her the same number of responses.
She sighed. “If he calls you to him again, please tell him I asked him to slip the letters beneath my door. There is no need for him to disturb your other duties.”
Laura nodded. “As you wish, my lady. Though I don’t mind going between.”
“I mind,” she muttered. “Now, why don’t you pick out a gown for me. I plan to take a long walk through the estate later.”
“Of course.”
