“Thank you,” Colin said, barely registering as the man stuffed what was left of his croissant into his mouth, bowed awkwardly and left.
Colin sank into a chair when he was alone. Carefully, he arranged the letters along the tabletop, in order of the dates scrawled across them. The inspector was correct that there were thirteen.
He broke the seal on the first and began to read. And sat there for an hour, turning page after page, his eyes stinging as he read Jane’s pleas for an explanation, her apologies for unknown crimes, and also her description of her life in Applegate. Although she always asked him to respond and sometimes there was a desperate tone to her letters, there was also a conversational way to them. Like she hoped that if she shared the minutia of her day, it would open his heart to her.
And it did. God, how it did.
He stood and refolded the letters, binding them again as he called out for Simmons. “Yes, my lord,” he asked as he entered the room.
Colin held out the letters. “Take these to my chamber. And have my horse brought around. I have somewhere I need to go immediately.”
Colin sat in Alicia Beckford’s parlor, shifting uncomfortably in a chair as he awaited the arrival of his wife and her family. He had no doubt her protective older sister would not welcome him here.
He knew full well he didn’t deserve their warmth or their welcome. But he would bear their censure if, in the end, he could somehow make up what he’d done to Jane.
The door opened and Alicia Beckford stepped in. Like Jane, she had blonde hair, but she wasn’t as delicate as her sister. Her eyes were brown rather than blue. At present, she also looked like she was very capable of breaking a chair over his back.
He stood quickly. “Mrs. Beckford,” he said. “Very nice to see you. Felicitations on the birth of your son.”
Alicia’s face remained drawn and angry, and she didn’t offer a hand of welcome to him as she paced inside the room. “Get out of my house, Lord Wharton.”
He froze at her cold order, gathering his composure in the face of her anger. “I understand your rage with me, madam. I know I deserve it. But Imustsee my wife. Please.”
Her eyes narrowed at the please, but she shook her head. “Even if Jane were here, I would not allow you to see her.”
“IfJane were here?” he repeated, his stomach sinking as a dozen horrible possibilities flashed through his mind. “Jane isn’t here? She did make it here last night, didn’t she?”
Alicia scoffed. “Are you pretending you care for my sister’s well-being now, after what you did to her?”
“Idocare,” he insisted, his voice elevating slightly. “Please tell me she arrived here last night.”
She pursed her lips. “She did,” Alicia admitted at last. Colin almost sagged in relief. “And she left very early this morning. So you have stolen her from me not once, but twice.”
Colin stared. “She—she left?”
“Yes, at dawn,” Alicia said with a pained sigh. “As she was sobbing in my arms last night, she just kept saying she wanted to go home. As ifyouever provided her with a home. But somehow she loves that Applegate place of yours. She feels safe there, out of the line of your disdain. So you should congratulate yourself, my lord. It seems you’ve gotten rid of her just as you always wished.”
Colin couldn’t help himself. He sank back into the chair, putting his head in his hands as he tried to process what had just happened.
“I don’t want her gone,” he muttered through his fingers. “I know you don’t believe me. I don’t even blame you for that. But the last thing I want is for her to leave.”
Alicia laughed. “Which is why you banished her based on a lie.” He lifted his gaze and found her nodding. “Oh yes, she cried out the whole sordid tale to me last night. I could hardly understand what she was saying through her hysteria.” She took her own seat. “Though youdidsave her life yesterday. That is the only thing I will ever thank you for.”
Colin shook his head. “I don’t deserve even that. Damn it, Mrs. Beckford…Alicia…I know I’ve bungled this terribly. In ways that were in my control as well as ways that were not. But I promise you, the last thing I want is her gone.”
Alicia stared at him, reading him. “Why? Why would you want her to stay? For your reputation? Your pride?”
He swallowed. “None of those things. They’re the last on my mind. I want her here because I…I care for her.”
Alicia got up and paced away. “How utterly romantic. Youcarefor her.”
“The first time I admit I love her, it isn’t going to be to you,” he snapped.
She spun around at that statement and stared at him. Her defensive posture didn’t change much, but her expression softened ever so slightly. “If you feel as you say you do, I won’t tell you that you don’t have a chance,” she admitted, almost reluctantly. “But you will have to work at repairing this. I have never seen Jane so hurt to her core.”
He nodded. “I hate myself for causing it, I assure you. I’m going to follow her.”
“She’s only half a day ahead of you. In a carriage. It’s a long trip—on horseback, you could likely catch up with her at her first stop at an inn tonight. I can tell you which one she intends to take a break at.”
