How much she was coming to love him.
That reality slammed into her and she could hardly breathe.
“It feels like my responsibility,” he said. “Even if it’s not my fault.”
She pushed away the realization that had just changed her world and focused on this man and what he needed. “What brought on your anger in there? It was out of character to say the least.”
“Kline said something terrible. About my father, about my taking on the title. Something I won’t repeat.”
“And that was all there was to it?”
He looked again into the darkness, his gaze unfocused and faraway. She felt the weight on his shoulders. She understood it.
At last he sighed. “I’m not…ready for this, Sarah. Taking his place.”
“Kit, look at me.” He did so, his dark stare glittering in the starlight. “You aren’t meant to take his place.”
“Of course I am,” he said, his tone now strained with pain. “It is what I was raised to do.”
“You were raised to takeyourplace. And I have watched you for years and know you will do that with great honor.”
His lips thinned. “You know that after feeling my misplaced judgement of you for years? I would not think that would bode well for my future as a good duke.”
“You could have damaged me,” she said. “I feared you would, but you never did, despite what you thought of me. And aside from that one mar on your character, I know you have intense loyalty to your friends. You are intelligent, you study subjects in order to truly understand them. You are kind to your household staff, I’m certain just as kind to your tenants. Those are things you learned from your father, certainly, but that does not mean you will take his place or rule like he did. You will break your own path, make your own way, with his words as guidance.”
His expression softened and he stared into her eyes for a moment, almost like he was seeing her for the first time. Like he understood something that had been a riddle before. Then he bent his head and his mouth found hers.
She lifted into him, winding her arms around his neck as his lips brushed gently, then firmly, against hers. Her mouth opened and he took, just as she’d known he would. She tasted his pain, his desperation, but as they kissed those darker emotions seemed to fade, replaced by desire.
Only then did he part from her and trace her cheek with one fingertip. “I’m glad you’re here, Sarah.”
She nodded. “So am I.”
“I need you,” he continued. “That is a little terrifying, honestly, considering where we began and what is ahead of me. But I do. Will you—”
He broke off and shook his head, a self-admonishment she didn’t fully understand. “Will I what?” she asked.
“Come to me tonight,” he finished. “It’s unfair to you to ask. I expect you to refuse.”
“Yes,” she whispered, feeling no hesitation in that answer even though she should have. But this is what she wanted, to comfort this man she had grown to love. And she wasn’t about to deny either of them what they needed.
Kit was practically bouncing in anticipation when there was finally a knock on his chamber door hours later. The party, despite the difficult moments, had ended up a success, but he’d been waiting for its end. Waiting for Sarah, because right now Sarah was all that mattered.
He crossed to the door and opened it wide to reveal her standing in his doorway, still in that fetching blue gown, her hair piled high on her head, like a goddess called down from Olympus. And here he was just a mortal who wanted to worship at her feet.
She entered the antechamber and looked toward the door to his bedroom with a smile. “The last time I was here…”
“Don’t remind me,” he said with a shake of his head. “You do not know how many times I wake crying out as I drag you to the shore of the lake in my dreams. Only no one can make you breathe in my nightmares.”
Her expression softened and she took his hands in hers. “But I did not die,” she said gently. “I’m here with you. And so is Phoebe.”
She made it seem like everything could be so easy. But nothing felt easy at present, it just felt heavy.
“When everyone is gone, I think you and I should take Phoebe out in the boat,” she added.
He tensed. “I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“You know what I said to her that day,” she said. “And you know I’m right. The longer we avoid it, the more fearful it will become. Neither one of us wants her to grow up terrified of what might be.”
