She was already moving toward him as she gasped, “Yes, please.”
Kit caught Sarah in his arms and their mouths collided. Unlike the previous night, when she’d been shocked and confused by his touch, today she was ready. Her mouth opened and she welcomed him in. He drove his tongue inside, dueling with hers as he backed her away from the separate chairs in the parlor and to the settee. He lowered her there, his fingers digging into her arms as he positioned her for better access.
He tasted like scotch, despite the early hour. Intoxicating and masculine and heady. She was drunk on him and gripped her hands against his lapels, then around his neck as he practically dragged her into his lap to get closer.
Need mushroomed in her from some deep place she’d never felt before. A tingling that seemed to bring all her limbs and nerve endings to life, a heat that burned and soothed all at once. She wanted something. She knew what it was called, but had never felt it. Had been trained to avoid it. Now she didn’t give a damn about ruination. Just him.
He dragged his mouth away in that instant with a low growl that seemed to settle in that throbbing place between her legs. He didn’t release her, but continued to stare down into her face like he didn’t fully recognize her. Or perhaps he didn’t recognize himself. Then he sighed.
“I will admit, Sarah, I don’t know what to do about this. This wanting that seems to sear my very soul. That doesn’t seem to give a damn about propriety or grace or anything but touching you.”
She shivered at the nature of his words. Things said in the dark by a lover, not in private between duke and governess, no matter where she’d started off in life.
She swallowed hard, past her worry, past her fear, past her uncertainty, and whispered in a voice that was so low and dark and husky with desire that she could hardly recognize it as her own, “Perhaps we don’t have to know, Kit.”
He brushed a hand across her cheek, smoothing away an errant curl before he released her and sat back into a position that was at least a little more proper.
He smiled. “It is not in my nature not to know. I always know my next move and all the reasons for it.” He sighed. “But then again, it is not in my nature to pin a young woman against a settee arm and revel in her taste.”
She shivered again. “So?”
“So we are in uncharted territory. And perhaps that is not the worst thing. When I touch you, it is most definitely far from that.”
He stood, and she followed him to her own feet. He caught her by the waist and dragged her closer, brushing her lips with hers. This time it was gentle. But she felt the heat throbbing behind it.
“Hmmm,” he murmured as they parted. “I should go before I can’t. But you’ve given me a great deal to consider, Sarah.”
She smiled as he backed toward the door, gave her a small salute and then departed the room. She sagged back onto the settee where he’d so thoroughly kissed her.
“So have you,” she whispered. “So have you.”
Chapter Twelve
When his father died, Kit had had a hard time picturing the moment when life would feel normal again. And yet, two weeks past that fateful afternoon, he did, occasionally, feel himself again. So did the rest of his world. The servants had gone to wearing a simple black band on their arm, his friends the same. His sister laughed more often and played with the other children. Not that she didn’t still sometimes weep or act out in her pain, but it felt like an improvement, a move toward the better.
The only thing consistently different from the day before his father’s death was his relationship with Sarah.Thathad changed, and it didn’t seem to have any ability to return. She worked for him, that was the same, but they’d had many a stolen moment in the hallway or a parlor after everyone else had gone. Kissing her was becoming a favorite pastime and she was his ultimate distraction from pain. He wanted more and more and more.
A fact that left him a bit uncomfortable. Was he being fair?
He shrugged off the thought and entered his father’s study.Hisstudy now, he supposed, though it didn’t feel that way yet. He had only gone into the room a handful of times since his father’s death. He hadn’t changed anything when it came to the décor, and his father’s papers and notes were still strewn across the mahogany desk top.
He drew in a long breath as he stared around the room. Even more than the chamber where Kit now slept, this place was truly the domain of the old duke. It had the weight of him and the sense of him still in its walls.
And it was time to sort through it. Any one of his friends would have gladly stepped forward to help him in that endeavor, but he had put them off, at least for now. If it became too overwhelming he would ask for the help. He needed to do it soon, as his friends would soon be leaving. That night was a final party with all of them and some friends from the shire, then the carriages would begin to roll out over the next few days.
He was both mournful of that moment and anticipating it. He would miss his friends—their large group was a comfort—but he also looked forward to figuring out what the new normal of his life would look like.
And who would play a part in it.
He settled into the leather seat behind the desk and looked over the piles of papers. Ledgers, letters, notes were all arranged in neat sections. As he moved them around, he found a message written in Ewan’s even hand. It didn’t surprise him. Ewan and Matthew had gone over the papers in the first days when Kit’s grief was too painful and sharp. Ewan wrote notes constantly, since he could not speak.
Still, Kit drew a deep breath before he read this one.
Your father made things easy. There will be little difficulty in taking over and no nasty surprises Matthew or I could find. He loved you, Kit, and he knew, as we all know, that you will be as fine a duke as you are a man. E.
Kit’s eyes stung as he folded the note and tucked it safely away. He’d been raised for all this, of course. Taught by both word and example the importance of being a decent landlord, a decent employer, a decent man. Taught to serve his populace with honor and kindness.
And it still felt overwhelming.
