Chapter Eleven
Sarah let out a contented sigh as she strolled through the garden, clinging to Isabel’s arm. It felt like old times in this moment, a return to a friendship she had missed deeply.
“I am so, so glad you are well,” Isabel said softly. “I was terrified. And Matthew…”
Sarah glanced at her out of the corner of her eye. Her friend’s lips were pinched together in a thin line. “Angelica drowned—there is no doubt there is distress there. It must have brought back such terrible feelings for you both.”
“Terrible feelings, yes,” Isabel said. “And memories for Matthew. Regrets. He realized that Lucas could bring you back to life with his breath. I think for a while Matthew tortured himself with the idea that he could have done the same for my cousin that terrible night.”
Sarah stopped walking and jerked to face her friend. She understood the implication in Isabel’s quiet statement. If Matthew had saved Angelica, he and Isabel never would have married.
“Did that hurt you? His reaction?” Sarah asked, shoving aside her own complicated problems to focus on this.
Isabel was quiet for a moment. Then she sighed. “I understood his reaction. I cannot imagine what it was like to watch Angelica die. For him, what happened yesterday was like going back in time. Standing in the boat, it flipping, you not breathing. That’sexactlywhat happened with Angelica. We thought you were gone, so it’s understandable he would have those thoughts when Lucas was able to revive you.”
Sarah caught her hands. “But did ithurtyou?”
Isabel bent her head. “A little. But I know he loves me. Truly loves me, deeply loves me. And he loves our life together and our baby. Angelica is not a barrier between us, nor has she been for almost a year. I will not let her be now, not when I understand his reaction.”
Sarah let out a long sigh. “You, my dear, are too good for this world. Too understanding and kind. He had best appreciate that.”
“He does,” Isabel reassured her, and it was clear she meant it. This moment between her and her husband was just that…a moment. They were too in love to allow it to be anything else. “And as for being too good, you would know, I suppose, my heroic best friend!”
Sarah knew she was blushing, her face was blazingly hot at present. She dropped her chin. “Do you still consider me that?”
“My best friend?” Isabel repeated, almost sounding confused. “Of course I do. Was that in doubt?”
Sarah sighed. “Perhaps. I mean, you have married into this enormous circle of remarkable women.”
“All of whom I love, none of whom are you,” Isabel said.
“And I’ve pushed you away,” Sarah said, down to the heart of it at last. “I know I have since my mother’s death and my change in situation.”
“You couldn’t help but struggle,” Isabel said gently. “Your world was ripped apart, I know that. But hear this now and know it forever, you are my best friend, Miss Sarah Eugenie Frances Elizabeth Carlton. And you always shall be, no matter what.”
It was amazing: the relief that washed over Sarah when she allowed herself to accept what Isabel was saying to her. She’d pushed her so far away, told herself they couldn’t still be close with their situations so disparate. It was only now that she fully felt how much she’d hurt herself when she created that barrier between them. Coming so close to death made her never want to put it up again.
She put her arms around Isabel and the two women clung to each other for a moment. Then she pulled away and smiled as she retook Isabel’s arm. They moved to a bench before the fountain, and she sighed as they sat.
“Well, then, my dearest best friend, I will admit that I need your advice,” she said, unable to keep herself from the discussion she’d been so uncertain of when they began.
Isabel nodded. “Oh yes, I would be happy to help. What is the problem? Still worried about Kit and being sacked?”
“Not let go, no. But Kit? Yes.” She ducked her head. “He kissed me.”
Isabel jolted and when Sarah dared to look at her, she found her friend’s eyes had grown impossibly wide and wild. “I’m sorry, what?”
“He came in to check on me after the drowning,” she said. “And we were talking and then his mouth was on mine and…and…he kissed me. It seems like more than one kiss, though. One bled into the others.”
Isabel continued to stare at her like she didn’t understand what she was saying. “What?”
Sarah stuck her tongue out. “Not helpful, Isabel! You can’t just stare at me like I grew a second head and saywhat!”
Isabel blinked several times as she muttered, “What in the world do you want me to do? This is incredibly shocking!”
Sarah’s heart sank. “You think ill of me?”
“Not at all. I didn’t mean shocking, more stunning.” Isabel seemed to gather herself. “Firstly I must ask how it was.”
