Robert scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I don’t know if she’ll forgive me.”
At that, Middlemarch edged toward the door. “You know, Roseford, we are not the kind of men to ask for help on that score. I think your duke friends are more fashioned for advice of the heart. But we do wish you the best. And we’ll make certain your wishes for Lady Gainsworth’s privacy are circulated throughout our circles. Good day.”
Robert nodded as the men filed away. When the room was empty, he let out a long sigh. That would probably be the last time he would spend with that group. These were not friends like his club, his brothers. They had always been fleeting, surface. And losing them meant nothing.
But losing Katherine still sat heavy on his mind. And now that he had taken care of his first matter of business, he was ready to move on to the next. Groveling. He could only pray that it would be enough.
Katherine let out a long sigh as she stepped into her parlor and looked around the room. Just a few weeks before, she had loved this little house. It represented her freedom, her ability to control her future. The quiet was wonderful then.
Now it was stifling. It reminded her of what was missing from her life, what she would never have again.
It had been five days since she last saw Robert. He had not come down to say farewell when she departed Emma and James’s home the day after her argument with him. She’d told him to leave her alone and it seemed he would honor that request.
He had also not come to her door in London since her arrival the previous afternoon. He had not sent word, though her aunt had heard he was back in London, too. Bethany was cursing him at present, because Katherine hadn’t been able to keep the truth from her aunt. And yet Bethany’s comfort wasn’t what she wanted.
It was his. Only his.
She sank into the settee and put her head in her hands. “Little fool, you never meant a thing,” she whispered. “You knew that from the start.”
When she said those words out loud, they came out as a sob and she struggled to keep the tears at bay. Once they started, she feared they would never stop, and she couldn’t face them.
“My lady?”
She glanced up to find her butler standing at her parlor door, shifting from foot to foot in discomfort. “Yes, Wilkes,” she said, straightening. “What is it?”
“Your father has arrived,” he said, and there was no mistaking the concern and disdain to his voice. “Demanding to see you. I know you said you wanted any callers to be told you were not in residence but—”
“It’s fine,” she lied, and got to her feet to pour her father tea. “I’m certain he will not be deterred. Send him in.”
He bowed away and a moment later returned. She watched as her father pushed past him into the room. She nodded and Wilkes departed, leaving them alone.
“Do you know what I heard about you while you were gone?” Mr. Montague sputtered without preamble.
She sighed and motioned for him to sit. “Hello, Father. I am surprised to see you considering our last conversation, when I believe you cut me off forever. But thank you for the call regardless. My trip to the country was fine, thank you for asking. I heard there was rain while I was away. How is your rheumatism?”
He flopped into her seat and held a hand out for his tea. “I don’t need your lip, missy.”
“As I said, you dismissed me from your life the last time you called,” she snapped as she handed it over, playing out a game they had participated in for years. “Why in the world would you come back to me now?”
“You’re marrying the Duke of Roseford?” he said, lifting both brows. “One can only assume how a woman such asyoucould make a man likehimcommit to a lifetime shackled to you.”
She stared at him in confusion. “I’m sorry, what?”
Her father shook his head and glared at her. “Don’t play with me. It’s all around Society gossip that you and Roseford will wed.”
Her heart leapt at that thought. The one she had shoved aside the moment she knew of Robert’s perfidy. The words that now warmed her heart and made her long for what she’d told herself she could never have with him.
“Well, the gossip is wrong,” she said, hating that her voice shook. “Roseford and I did develop a—a friendship in Abernathe. But there is nothing more to it than that, I assure you. His Grace will not marry.”
A smug smirk tilted his lips. “Iknewit could not be true. Why would a man with such power lower himself so completely? A man of his reputation would only tup a woman like you, not pledge his life to hers. Whoever said he told them that must have misunderstood.”
Katherine caught her breath as anger filled her. All her life, she had listened to him rail at her. Punish her for sins she had never committed. Paint her with a brush she had never deserved. He had abused her mind and her soul. She had always been the one to apologize for it.
And she thought of Robert, who had whispered to her that her “nature,” as her father put it, was not something to be shunned or humiliated by. He had seen her true self. He had opened his arms to that and held her so gently in them.
Robert had accepted her. With a few days away from their argument, from her shock at what she’d overheard, sheknewthat the connection was real. The Duke of Roseford had seen her. And he had wanted her not despite who she was, butbecauseof it.
“You hated my mother for her light,” she said, her voice still shaking as she returned her attention to her father. “And you hated me for mine. You separated me from my family and you ripped me from my future, all while you pretended to be good. To be right. To be…godly. And now you have the gall to come here, into my home, and tell me what I am? Tell me who would love me when you have never known real love in your pathetic life?”
