“I would say you are right,” Isabel said. “Katherine did see you. The true you. The good man you are deep in your soul.”
He snorted out a pained laugh. “And you know so much, do you, Isabel? You have known me all of a few months.”
“That would be a fair point, I suppose,” Isabel said. “Except that my husband has known you almost all his life. My good, decent, steady husband has loved you through all your adventures and schemes. As has James, as has Ewan. These men who shy away from those who would proudly declare themselves libertines and rogues embrace you with the intensity of brotherhood. Why do you think that is?”
Robert poured himself a drink and downed it in one slug. “Every court needs its jester,” he mumbled, thinking of how Katherine had gently teased him about his role in their merry group of gentlemen. Perhaps she had come closer to the mark than he had ever been able to admit.
Isabel was shaking her head. “Not true. These men see beyond the mask you wear. They see your true heart. You are the man who supports every piece of legislation in the House of Lords that gives freedom or hope to those beneath his station. You are the man who has stepped up and offered support to his friends. The man who welcomed me into this group despite the fact that you initially saw me as only a liar who was bent on destroying Matthew.”
He jerked his face up. “He told you that?”
She shrugged. “You were decent at hiding it, but I felt your hesitance at first.”
“Well, I’ve come to see you as far more over the months,” he said. “I was wrong about you.”
“You are wrong about yourself, as well. Robert, this woman brings out the best in you. She challenges you to reach for far loftier heights than you have dared to try. Matthew and I were talking about it just two nights ago—do you know what he said about you and Katherine?”
“That I’m an ass?” he asked. “That’s what he says to my face.”
She smiled but was undeterred. “He said to me that youtrywith her. That in all the years he’s known you, you have never tried with any other person, save the others in your club. That the moment things get hard, you turn away. But with Katherine, you don’t do that.”
“And yet here we are,” he said, holding up his arms. “So what use was it?”
She stepped closer, and her hand closed around his forearm. “You clearly hurt her deeply. I see how much that breaks your heart. Don’t run away from that or you will regret it the rest of your life.”
He knew she was right. “So what do I do?”
“Let her go back to London. A few days on her own, a few days to let this settle, that will do her good. But do not let another week go by before you try again to make it up to her.”
He looked into the crackling fire. “I am in love with her,” he whispered. Saying the words out loud was like falling off a cliff. And yet there was no fear behind them. Only truth.
“Then you have much to risk, but far more to gain.” Isabel squeezed his arm gently and then backed away. “And there are nine other men and eight of their wives who would do anything in their power to help you. But only if you try.”
She smiled at him and moved toward the door with a quiet goodnight. After she was gone, Robert let out his breath in a ragged sigh. He felt like he’d been torn into shreds, first by the pain he’d caused Katherine, then by the admission of how much of his heart she held.
And yet, when he thought of fighting for her, truly fighting for what he wanted, what she deserved…what they could have if he could just step forward instead of running away…
He knew it was worth the risk. And he had at least three days ahead of him to figure out how to make amends for what he’d done so that he could come to her as the man she wanted him to be. Not the man he was.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Robert strode into his foyer, tugging at his gloves as he did so. His butler, Jenner, was waiting, a grim look on his face. “Welcome home, Your Grace.”
Robert gave him a cursory nod as he handed over the gloves. “Thank you. I assume you received my missive from the road?”
“I did, sir.”
“And are they here?” He smoothed his jacket. His armor for the face-off to come. The one he had been planning in the four days since he last saw Katherine. Since she’d left James and Emma’s home at dawn without so much as a word for him.
He’d ached for her ever since. And known he had no right to long for her, not after what he’d done in the past and the present. He had to earn that right, as each and every one of his friends had been quick to tell him.
They were right, of course. So if he had to, he would spend the rest of his life doing just that. Starting today.
“They are waiting for you in the west parlor, Your Grace.” Jenner pursed his lips as if he was irritated. Robert couldn’t blame him. He knew the attitude of the men in his parlor.
“Very good. There will be nothing else. Just be ready to call for their carriages.” He glared down the hallway. “They will not be staying long.”
The butler inclined his head and Robert headed away. He flexed his hands open and closed as the sound of the boisterous laughter of his guests filtered through the air from behind the closed door. He hesitated for a moment before he entered.
