“Thank you,” Diana said, feeling Lucas’s stare focused on her. “I appreciate the offer, I assure you.”
Meg turned to Lucas and kissed his cheek, as well. “So lovely to have you home, my friend. I know James and the others are also dying to see you, so we must arrange that before any ball we host or else you will be surrounded and that would be quite awkward.”
“Quite,” he agreed with a smile.
Diana watched as he said his farewells to Tyndale and Crestwood. Both gentlemen acknowledged her, and then the small group headed back toward the house, leaving Diana alone with Lucas. When they were all out of earshot, she moved forward. She needed to touch him. To make sure he was whole after what was likely a taxing ordeal, no matter how well it had gone.
“You look happier,” she said softly.
He looked down at her and nodded. “That was a reminder of the piece I’ve been missing in my life. And how foolish it was for me to throw it away when—”
He cut himself off and paced away from her. She pursed her lips. When he pulled back like this, when he cut her away from his past or his pain, it made her position very clear, no matter how strenuously he denied it.
“You told them you are a spy,” she said in an effort to change the subject. For her own sake as much as his.
He nodded and faced her. “If I’m going to use their hospitality to reenter Society and goad our traitor, I felt it was only right. And I admit that when I saw them, Iwantedto tell them. So that they’d understand why I disappeared. That it wasn’t because of them.”
She folded her arms. “Well, it is good you havesomeoneto share your past with.”
He arched a brow and she shifted, for she knew her tone had been petulant. Unfairly so, likely. He owed her nothing, after all. Still, she wanted more.
“You think I don’t share my past with you?” he asked.
She shrugged. “You keep hinting about some horrible thing that happened to you and yet you do not reveal yourself in any meaningful way. I’ve confessed some of my darkest secrets and yet I know so little about you.”
“Not all your secrets.”
She drew back. “I beg your pardon?”
“Come, come, Diana. Don’t play at something that neither of us will believe. You have told me a great deal and I am honored that you would trust me. But please don’t pretend that you have emptied your soul to me. I can sense that there is much more you’re holding back.”
She took another long step away from him, shocked by his casual observation. Shattered by how right he was. The secret he wanted to know was looming over her at present, and to have him mention it, even without understanding it, cut her to her aching heart.
“Well, then I suppose we both have our secrets,” she said. “And we shall both keep our own counsel on them.”
He opened his mouth like he wanted to say more and she leaned forward, secretly hoping he would. But he didn’t. Instead, he sighed. “Meg told you to think about an offer. What was it?”
It was like a wall of ice went up between them. The matter was closed, it seemed. “She has offered to share some of her gowns with me so that I might be more presentable as your companion.”
His eyebrows lifted. “That was kind.”
“Yes.” She nodded. “Meg is very kind. Insistent, even, though I tried to explain to her that I wouldn’t be accompanying you to any event, so it was unnecessary.”
He stared at her. “What do you mean? Of course you’ll attend any ball or event I go to.”
She gasped. “Are you mad? You are trying to reintroduce yourself into good Society as a way to lure your traitor, and you want to take your mistress with you? Don’t you think that will cause a stir?”
“I suppose it might,” he said. “But a stir wouldn’t be the worst outcome. Besides, I want you there with me. You are my partner in this, aren’t you?”
She swallowed hard. His partner? That implied a certain connection, a certain intimacy. And yet it wasn’t true, not really. As she’d already pointed out, there was such a wall between them on so many issues.
Perhaps it was time to stop pretending that wasn’t true.
“We are not partners,” she said softly, and watched how he recoiled at that quiet denial. “We are two people thrown into a terrible, common experience. And we became lovers. But we both made it clear from the beginning that it was nothing more than that, didn’t we?”
“Diana,” he said, lifting his hands as if to protest.
She shook her head. “Please don’t. You are going to be able to investigate your case without any help from me the moment you step back into Society’s gaze. Every time I check your shoulder, it’s better and better. Your limp is barely noticeable. You don’t even need my skills as a healer anymore.”
