“I think he was…” She hesitated, for she had never felt comfortable with this part of her story. “He was part of a case my father was working on.”
Lucas stared at her, his expression hard and suddenly cool. “Oakford told you he worked on cases?”
“From time to time, yes,” she said. “I know he was mostly meant to be a surgeon for the men, but he had a brilliant mind, and sometimes he worked on other things.”
“I see.” Lucas was quiet a moment. “So this other man came as part of something your father was working on. For the War Department.”
“They had their heads together quite a bit and always suddenly grew silent if I entered a room unannounced. I was helping my father with his household by then, and he barred me from his study and told me not to review his paperwork while his visitor was there.” She shrugged. “I’m not a fool. I understood what was happening. Does that surprise you?”
“That you are not a fool?” he asked. “Not at all. Iamsurprised to hear your father worked on cases. I did not know he took them on. But I can see how his mind would be a good fit for the work. As you say, he was brilliant. I often turned to him to help me problem-solve.”
She drew in a long breath to keep herself from the tears that inevitably rose in her when she considered her father too long. “I’m sure this man was doing the same.”
“Who was he?” Lucas asked.
She turned away, fists clenched at her sides. “No, I will not tell you that. I will not have you discussing me with your cronies, comparing experiences.”
“Diana!” he said, his sharp tone forcing her to look at him. He was sitting up now, staring at her. “You cannot think I would ever disrespect you or what we’ve shared in such a manner.”
She lifted her chin. “I don’t want to think it,” she said. “But what do I know of how you talk when you are alone with the others?”
“Not like that, I assure you,” he said, his tone laced with disgust at the very thought. It was so real that it actually gave her relief.
“His name doesn’t matter,” she said, and moved to the tub to test the water. It was almost perfect now and it gave her an excuse to stay away from him, to stare off so he wouldn’t see her face when she continued her story. “In the end, I cannot even blame him completely for what happened.”
“How can you say that? You were an innocent, he was a visitor in your father’s home.”
She shrugged, like it didn’t matter. The biggest lie she’d ever told. “I was lonely and foolish. I took flirtation for something more. And when he kissed me…” She trailed off as she remembered that moment in full detail. Then she had been thrilled. Now she felt empty. “Well, I felt like a light had been turned on inside of me. One that had always been there, but I’d never known it.”
“How long ago did this happen?” he asked, his voice rough.
She forced herself to look at him. He was unreadable as always. “Two years,” she whispered. “I was not quite one and twenty. That probably sounds so foolish to you, as most women have more sense at such an age.”
“It is not so old,” he said softly.
“To me, it certainly wasn’t. I had not gone to balls or had suitors. In some ways I was naïve about the ways of men and women, of love, of…matching. He offered me an…an illusion. And I let him have what he wanted because I thought it meant love and a future.”
His cheek twitched. “And once he had it?”
She bent her head. “Everything changed. I discovered he was married, for one. That broke my heart. And then my father found out the truth about our tryst. He was angrier than I’d ever seen in all my life. I thought he might kill his friend. But he didn’t. The other man left and…”
She stopped. There was so much more to the story, but it was impossible to say those things out loud. She never spoke of them, she certainly wasn’t about to start with a man who’d already told her he offered her nothing but pleasure.
“And?” he said.
“And now I’m here,” she said, her tone falsely bright. “And you know what happened. Now, why don’t you get into your bath? It is the perfect temperature to help those muscles loosen. It will relieve your pain.”
He held her stare for a long moment and she felt him reading her. Felt him analyzing as he’d been trained to do. She knew in that moment that he sensed there was more for her to tell and she held her breath as she waited for him to accuse or demand she give him the whole story.
Instead, he got up, silent and slow. As the sheets fell away, she found herself looking at his body. She couldn’t help it. He moved toward her, and when he reached her he caught the back of her head and drew her in for a kiss.
She sighed, flattening her palms on his bare chest and reveling in his taste and how he washed away all the pain that had been burning inside of her during her confession.
When he pulled away at last, he looked into her eyes. “I am not using you, Diana.”
She caught her breath. “I know,” she said. “I know that. This time I am entering our arrangement with eyes wide open. No one can be hurt if there aren’t any lies.”
“Diana—” he began, but she shook her head.
